reformedsinner: (inner debate)
Cho Hakkai ([personal profile] reformedsinner) wrote in [community profile] thenearshore2018-01-16 11:36 pm

if no one listens, then it's just as well [closed]

Who: Cho Hakkai & Genjo Sanzo; Cho Hakkai & Yamazaki Ayumu; Cho Hakkai, Joshima Ken and Kakimoto Chikusa
What: Now that Hakkai has his memories back in one piece, he needs to have some important conversations, and maybe also get Ayumu to stop dishing to angry redheads about his personal flaws.
Where: Sanzo's temple, Ayumu's shinki refuge-in-progress, Hakkai's temple
When: October 4/5
Warnings: Discussion of attempted suicide, suicidal ideation & of Hakkai's backstory (incest, genocide); probably no actual violence in the threads. Unless Ayumu punches him again, of course.

Closed - Genjo Sanzo

[Yesterday, Hakkai had been wary. Today, it seemed, he could go outside with confidence that the worst of the disturbances had been handled. Add was, if still alive, no longer causing trouble. Bluish dimensional tears were no longer interrupting his morning walks.

Sadly, that meant he'd lost his excuse for not tracking down Sanzo and sharing what he'd remembered.

Jeep, after his return and Ayumu's release, had lost his tendency to stick around the temple and started insisting on a space on Hakkai's shoulder again; Hakkai, after having to darn three brand-new shirts, had bought a large, black-and-white checked scarf, and looped it loosely enough around his shoulders that Jeep could coil into the fabric. It's not his usual style, but his dragon is happy, and the walk to where Sanzo's new temple appears to be is quiet.

He raps his knuckles loudly against the side of the door when he arrives.]


Sanzo? Excuse me, are you in?


Closed - Yamazaki Ayumu

[It's not so much logistical need that sends him looking for Ayumu after he's done chatting with Sanzo.

It is, if he's going to be brutally honest, wounded pride. She'd avoided his question about finding a new god at the moon festival, and then she'd demanded release almost as soon as she finished throwing punches on his resurrection? She'd informed him he was no more than a placeholder for her months ago, and yet she insisted on taking his every action personally?

And, besides, Chikusa seemed convinced she hadn't been looking for a new god. It's hard for Hakkai to make any of her actions fit into the same puzzle, or even the same frame. Now that he's not working at a disadvantage, he has a few more questions he wants to ask.

There's something else, too. Gojyo's bar is an obviously terrible place for a shinki to live on his own. Hakkai just wants to confirm -- especially after ayakashi have been swarming the Heavens -- that Ayumu's "shelter" is at least a little more secure. And less shabby.]
junkyarddog: (You were never free)

[personal profile] junkyarddog 2018-01-24 11:52 am (UTC)(link)
[Hakki's entirely correct. Chikusa told him that Hakkai was making them dinner, and that it included meat, and Ken had practically dragged Chikusa behind him on their way to Hakkai's temple. It's a little more than just Ken's voracious appetite, for once; he's happy Hakkai is back at his temple, happy that Hakkai is acting like himself again and doing familiar things like inviting them over for dinner. (Admittedly, there's not a ton of precedent for that yet, but then Hakkai's only become their god pretty recently. It's as much of a precedent as anything could be thus far.) It brings back memories of the four of them sitting around the table, talking and eating food...mostly eating, in Ken's case, but he'd listened, and basked in the atmosphere.

Roy feeds them, too, and is quite a good cook(if perhaps a more rustic type of cook than Hakkai), but he's a pretty informal god. And while Ken absolutely prefers a lack of formality, something about the structure and formality of the dinner with Hakkai and Ayumu, the insistence upon manners and certain standards...while it had been annoying and stupid, there'd been something about it that affected Ken. It had reminded him of the way families acted on TV. It had kind of felt, for the first time, like he and Chikusa had one.

And then Hakkai disappeared, and then came back with his memories gone, and Ayumu left, and there will only be three people at the table tonight...it had been an incredibly short-lived illusion. But some part of Ken is still vainly hoping that maybe the feeling will come back. Hakkai did, after all. Their memories did. So maybe this will come back, too.]


You're too slow, Kakipi! [He's been hurrying Chikusa along the whole way, but he finally leaves him to his own devices at the front of Hakkai's temple to run forward himself and knock on the door. Well...'hammer' is perhaps more accurate. He's enthusiastic.]
kokuyoyo: (I don't do stupid things anymore.)

[personal profile] kokuyoyo 2018-01-24 05:15 pm (UTC)(link)
[At least Ken's happy. Chikusa wishes he could say the same.]

[The entire time they make their way over to Hakkai's temple, Ken pushing and pulling the entire way, Chikusa wonders at... a lot of things. Dealing with Gojyo was a bewildering experience all is own, and one he doesn't think he'd have cared about, normally, if it hadn't pertained to a god he was named by. Hell, should he even care about Hakkai? The question gnaws on him with each step.]

[He hadn't really cared about him during the ablution, so many months ago. Sure, Chikusa had trusted that Hakkai would go along with his request to test out his poison, but he hadn't been invested.]

[So why is he so discontent now? Is it because of a combination of Hakkai dying recklessly, and the emotional rollecoaster forced onto him by a resurgence of memories? That kind of coincidence? Or...]

[There are gaps, in the memories he has. If Ken's not there, he's realized, then he can't remember anything, but there's so little of that so he's hardly bothered at all, really. Ken is there, for most of the important things. Yet even when they're together... In so many of those moments he can recall, there's a blur, a flaw. Someone he talked to, someone who made Ken huff up and brighten and cry.]

[Someone that they'd waited for. Those memories, even without all the details that should be there, sting quietly. Both of them, curled up, in the dark and ruin, waiting and waiting for... someone. Hurting, and waiting for someone.]

[Somehow, Hakkai's stubborn refusal to tell them anything feels a lot like that kind of waiting ignorantly.]

[Still, Ken is happy, and Chikusa lets that carry him through as he shuffles after the blond racing ahead. He looks good like this, eyes bright and a dumb grin on his face. With a maroon beanie still resting atop his head from Bishamon's usual training event, Chikusa eventually catches up with Ken... and just straight up opens the door.]

[What? This is technically their home too or at least they stayed long enough. He knows the door isn't locked.]

[....Hopefully Hakkai wasn't on the other side. Him getting hit by an opening door would be just terrible.]
junkyarddog: (This is love)

[personal profile] junkyarddog 2018-01-30 10:09 am (UTC)(link)
[Once Chikusa opens the door, Ken trots right in; he follows certain rules almost without thinking, but when someone else flaunts them first he immediately accepts that he is also Allowed to do the thing. He follows his nose as much as his ears to Hakkai, but he almost droops a little when he sees a bunch of raw ingredients. Is dinner not even cooked yet??

But then Hakkai assures them it's almost ready, and he perks up again. Ken has no patience at all when it comes to food. The orders do get a slight whine, though.]
I'm hungry, byon...

[But no chiding is necessary. Even as Ken is complaining, he's moving to comply, however grudgingly. He doesn't even hesitate to start setting the table after he's washed his hands; he's been over at Hakkai's temple enough by now - mostly with Hakkai absent, but with Ayumu doing plenty of cooking - to know where things are, and what's expected of him.]

What'd you make, Hakkai-sama?
kokuyoyo: (Apparently I kept telling people I was)

[personal profile] kokuyoyo 2018-01-30 07:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ken can rush ahead all he like. Yet, as he's done the entire walk here, Chikusa lingers, even more than he usually does. While Ken is whining all the way to the sink, Chikusa stays in the doorway with his eyes focused on Hakkai. He doesn't say anything, only moving once again once the sound of the sink reaches his ears.]

[He just wants to get straight into things... but patience, or something, he guesses.]

[While they're in the middle of setting the table, hands clean, Chikusa lets out a slow sigh.]


Sukiyaki, Ken... I told you...

[Which explained nothing, probably, only that meat is involved.]
junkyarddog: (Who was fitted with collar and chain)

[personal profile] junkyarddog 2018-02-07 10:03 am (UTC)(link)
You didn't tell me what it is, byon. [Ken whines this at Chikusa.] You just told me wait and see!

[Hakkai rescues Chikusa from the incredible overexertion of explaining, however, and Ken seems intrigued by the novelty of such a dish. He sits down and even - with almost no nudged reminders from Chikusa - picks up a set of chopsticks before immediately grabbing for the first piece of meat he sees. He's half tempted to eat it raw - it wouldn't be the first time he's eaten raw meat - but in the end the interesting smells of the pan entice him into actually setting it in there to cook properly.

He glances between Chikusa and Hakkai curiously when Hakkai brings up starting something, and apologizing. Among the things Chikusa didn't explain was that this get-together is more than just dinner.]
What's going on?
kokuyoyo: (Tell him next time I'm going to be)

[personal profile] kokuyoyo 2018-02-07 05:34 pm (UTC)(link)
It's not my fault you don't look things up...

[Chikusa is in no hurry to shove anything into the pan. Instead, he watches as Ken gets to it, watching as the meat begins to curl and cook, raw pink shifting into brown. After a few seconds, he reaches over himself, but Ken doesn't have to worry about it being stolen (yet). Instead, he's just turning it over to make sure the cooking is even.]

[Hakkai's words initially don't get a reaction. His head stays bowed down, staring at the meat in its pan. But the apology... Blinking, he looks up, staring at Hakkai with a quiet intensity. No one.... has ever apologized to him before, he thinks. Not for the things which matter. He can't be completely certain, with his memories only having Ken in them, but it feels true. There'd been a distrust towards the rest of the world, a wariness.]

[At the sound of Ken's voice, that snaps him out of it, and he turns his head to look at Ken.]


...We're talking about when he died without taking us. And... Today, his ex came up to me trying to talk bad about him.

[That's sure a way to explain it.]

Not wanting us to be dragged into it... [His eyes glance over to Hakkai again.] ...doesn't make sense when we're your shinki.
junkyarddog: (And we run 'til the heavens above)

[personal profile] junkyarddog 2018-02-11 02:54 am (UTC)(link)
[This arrangement for their discussion has, as Hakkai and Chikusa are about to discover, a fatal flaw built in. Complex talk and deeply layered, complicated emotional relationships would already be a bit challenging for Ken to grasp in the abstract. But in the context of having such a talk over dinner, a dinner in which Ken is literally watching their food cook in preparation for being allowed to eat it? He's barely even listening, much less understanding.

Tactical errors have been made.

He spends the thirty seconds or so he's able to bring himself to wait poking the meat around in the pan, getting it cooked with a decent amount of evenness - though to a questionable level of doneness - before he picks it up and stuffs it into his mouth. It's only after he's eaten it that he looks up, with only half-heard and half-remembered fragments of the conversation thus far.]
Who's Gojyo, byon? [Not explaining the key players in this drama may have been another mistake.] And what's a youkai? [Ken is, after all, not native to Japan, and doesn't have much knowledge of Japanese folklore; he has no context for the word.

Trying to explain things to Ken and Chikusa at the same time is...an experience. It's like trying to explain a concept to a college student and an inattentive eight-year-old simultaneously.]
kokuyoyo: (Please don't place wagers on my)

[personal profile] kokuyoyo 2018-02-12 06:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[Hakkai made a tactical error. Chikusa refuses to take responsibility for this scenario, and, for once, that's fair.]

[Throughout the entirety of Hakkai's explanation, Chikusa has been slowly and patiently sorting through every slice of meat with his own chopsticks. He's quiet, at least, taking in the information on his own time. It explains a lot, at least, especially why Gojyo is so.... weird.]

[By the time Ken has snatched his own slice of meat out from the pan, Chikusa has come to a stop. A soft sigh rustles out of him, and he stares up at Hakkai pointedly over the pot.]

[...Or maybe that's a stare of challenge, because right as Ken finishes speaking, Chikua dumps one of the largest slices of meat down into the pan, apparently claimed for himself.]

[But he knows his partner, at least, and snaps his chopsticks in front of Ken's face before he can get too distracted by the move.]


Redhead. He had long hair, but it's short now. I think I saw him with Ayumu at that thing... [The banquet. But then, Chikusa was so out of commission during that time, who knows if his memory is particularly reliable for that.]

Basically... Hakkai killed lots of demons, and became one himself... And, without his memories, Gojyo thinks that's a bad thing, but still wants to kiss him, but it blew up, and they were both upset after... so Hakkai was stupid and did stupid things like not take us with him when he went to kill someone to help this other guy, and that's how he died.

[And with that, Chikusa starts to dump some vegetables of his own into the pan, going for a little bit of everything.]
junkyarddog: (We gotta get gone)

[personal profile] junkyarddog 2018-02-13 06:38 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ken frowns, listening to this. Chikusa's good at explaining things on Ken's level, so he's at least following things better now...though there's still some gaps in his understanding.] Wait, why is killing demons bad?

[Ken knows there are people who frown upon killing humans, but demons are bad, right? So killing them should be good.

He squints as Hakkai fusses with the tea, not answering the question. It's obvious to him that Hakkai is uncomfortable and trying to play it off; Ken's good at picking up on emotions even if he's bad with ideas.]
kokuyoyo: (Apparently I kept telling people I was)

[personal profile] kokuyoyo 2018-02-14 02:27 am (UTC)(link)
[At least one of them is emotionally observant. Chikusa pauses when Hakkai suddenly gets up, blinking at his turned back, before his attention drifts back down to the pan.]

No...

[He's not really one for tea, frankly, and the food should keep him occupied for the time being. Instead, he nudges the food around, making sure it all cooks well, before he takes in Ken's question. It's a good one, and.... one he's not entirely sure he's able to answer himself, although he supposes he could make a guess if he tried. Still, it's better to not waste the effort, and instead let Hakkai himself field that question.]
junkyarddog: (As if I'm just being used)

[personal profile] junkyarddog 2018-02-22 09:19 am (UTC)(link)
Oh. [Ken mulls this over for a second.] Well, some humans are demons, so I guess that makes sense, byon.

So what're you gonna do about this Gojyo guy, Hakkai-sama? [Ken starts putting more food in the pan to cook while he talks.] I dunno why he's so mad that you're strong. You getting killed was stupid and annoying, but it's not gonna happen again, right? And if you get Gojyo to stop being stupid, you won't be stupid either, right?

[Ken continues to have a very simplistic view of the world.]
kokuyoyo: (Please don't place wagers on my)

[personal profile] kokuyoyo 2018-02-22 06:10 pm (UTC)(link)
[From the mouth of the babes. Chikusa has dragged out his frankly offensive portion of meat, half of it in his mouth already, and he makes a small noise of attention at Ken's suggestion. Right... If Gojyo is such a problem, then making him stop being an idiot might actually stop making Hakkai be an idiot.]

[At least, an emotional idiot, which is the most Chikusa thinks he can ask.]

[Give him a second to chew all of this...]


Then... We'll have to have him understand the murder. He already did once before if you two knew each other, so...

[Theoretically, it could happen again. Just-]

It just has to be someone who isn't you. [Since Hakkai apparently sucks at it.]
junkyarddog: (And we run 'til the heavens above)

[personal profile] junkyarddog 2018-02-23 03:21 am (UTC)(link)
Why can't you just ask him what he's so mad about, if you don't know? [Yep, Ken's very much a fan of the direct approach.] Also, why would he be mad that you knew him as a god? Is it 'cause he doesn't remember it, byon? Shouldn't you be mad at him for forgetting you?

[That's more or less how Ken reacted to being forgotten by his god, anyhow.]

If he doesn't remember you, though, you just need to make him like you again. You and Hibari forgot me and I just started over with you guys, byon. [He pauses for a moment, thoughtful.] ...maybe he's mad 'cause you're not trying to make him like you again. If you guys used to like each other, and he forgot you, but he knows he used to like you, and you're not trying to make him like you again...he might be mad 'cause he thinks he's not worth you trying to make him like you again.
kokuyoyo: (Please don't place wagers on my)

[personal profile] kokuyoyo 2018-02-23 03:27 am (UTC)(link)
....Shinki turn into ayakashi when they remember things, Ken... [Going back to the food, or else it'll just burn up in the pan, Chikusa begins to move some more of the vegetables onto his plate. They've no doubt had a nice long time to soak in the meat juices that have cooked in with them.] Although... I'm not sure if that would count when it comes to gods and shinki switching places.

[He starts to raise a leek to his mouth, only to pause.]

....But Ken's probably right. I think... You're both too stupid for anything but plain honesty. Anyway.... If he actually hated you, he'd never deal with you again, or at least put more effort into spreading news like that. Everyone has a phone....
junkyarddog: (And we long for a heavenly heart)

[personal profile] junkyarddog 2018-02-24 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Tch...I know that, stupid kappa! [Ken elbows Chikusa.] I didn't mean remind him of actual memories and shit. But they're still the same people, right? We were the same people without our memories, even if we didn't remember why we were the way we were. So if Gojyo used to like Hakkai-sama, then the things he liked are still there, byon! Hakkai-sama just needs to show him those parts, and he'll start liking him again for the same reasons he liked him before.

[Ken looks over at Hakkai.] You could just tell him you want him to like you again, byon. You could even ask him what'd make him like you. Even if he hates you right now, that'd have to count for something, right?
kokuyoyo: (Tell him next time I'm going to be)

[personal profile] kokuyoyo 2018-02-25 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
He has a point.... [Chikusa tucks a small enough vegetable into his cheek so that he can talk clearly.] You have a talent for giving yourself a bad reputation...

[A couple more chews, followed by a swallow, before he raises a shoulder almost enough to qualify as half a shrug.]

Well. If you want to be a coward, we could handle it. Ken... might get through to him better than me. Since... they're similar enough, I guess.

[In that they're complete idiots. Chikusa at least views Ken positively despite this. Gojyo gets no excuse.]
junkyarddog: (Name in lights you lost all my trust)

[personal profile] junkyarddog 2018-03-04 10:38 am (UTC)(link)
Haven't you had a lot of time already, byon? [Ken doesn't look particularly impressed.] It sounds like a lot's happened since he forgot you. And that stuff's just been getting worse ever since. If you're not gonna just avoid each other, then you gotta fix it.

You could at least tell him what you wanna do. And ask him when and how would be okay to do it. He can't be mad about it if he gets to pick, right? [On the one hand, this is logically sound. On the other hand, this just illustrates that Ken doesn't know Gojyo.]

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