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Ken grits his teeth so hard that he feels like they should crack, but the Estraneo did a good job on his mouth. He's taken a lot of hits and never broken a tooth; this won't be enough by a long shot.

"Why the hell do you hate us so much?!" he demands. "Kakipi and I have been trying to behave for you! We busted you out of jail even though you got Ayumu hurt, and you were a jerk when we were trying to help you then, too! And now you're insulting us here in Hakkai-sama's temple, after Hakkai-sama helped you! Do you just hate us because you hate Hakkai-sama?!

"And why do you hate Hakkai-sama, anyway? He's been trying to help you and worrying about you and it's not good enough for you! I thought maybe you were mad 'cause he wasn't trying hard enough to make you like him again even without your memories, but he's doing plenty and you're still being an asshole! If you just told him why you're mad at him, he'd fix it, but instead you're just trying to make him as miserable as you are instead of fixing anything!"

He stomps over to Gojyo, standing toe to toe and glowering (up) at him. "If you don't want us, fine," he growls. "We'd be your family if Hakkai-sama wanted us to, but nobody's gonna make you stay. But I wanna know why you're such an asshole to people who actually care enough to do stuff for you! Why aren't any of us good enough for you when you're the one who's been treating everyone like crap?!"

Full of vicious care and protective anger, Ken storms away from his fingertips, and Chikusa lets him. After all, while he may have made a promise to Hakkai that he'd stop when Hakkai said "stop", Ken did no such thing. If anyone is free to slip through that loophole, it's his partner. If there's a not insignificant part of him that hopes the blond sucker punches Gojyo in the dick, well, it's there.

Yet it's not so significant a part of him that he hasn't noticed something else, turning his head away from the fiery confrontation going on near to him. Hakkai has been seated, unlike when Chikusa almost vaulted past the table to stab Gojyo with a pair of eating instruments, and the way his fingers dig into his own hands say it might not be by his own will. It feels similar, that kind of broken exhaustion, and Chikusa seems to sway for a second before his feet begin to shuffle. He makes it past the other chairs that are set about, going to the god's side. Comfort has never been a talent of his, so all he does is lay the tips of his fingers on one hand against the table, near to Hakkai's.

He can do judgment great, however. "You named him?" he mutters to Hakkai. "Drunk?" Or perhaps he named him before it got to that point, but, either way, all the alcohol involved from the other day has only become an even worse point. No wonder Hakkai put only water at the table today.

Still, that's something for another day, and he raises his head to look at Gojyo again even as the words are leaving his mouth. "You don't get to run away," he deadpans, "just because you have to deal with things getting difficult while sober."

Ken is shouting in Gojyo's face, so keyed up with righteous fury that he's vibrating. Chikusa's fingers land a handsbreadth from Hakkai's hands on the table, and stay there.

Hakkai looks up at him. He can feel all of this vibrating in the names he's holding. Ken's anger is pure and easy, and Hakkai can feel the seductive pull of that emotion. Gojyo is all despair and resolve. Chikusa's the quietest, a steady presence next to him, despite the sarcasm in his tone.

He's very tired, but that doesn't mean he can give up, yet. He unclasps his hands, white spots going red where his fingertips had pressed against his own skin, and looks up at Chikusa.

"I haven't had enough alcohol to be drunk in a long time," he murmurs. It's not that he minds Chikusa judging his decision to name Gojyo. It's that he wants it to be the right judgment. All of his recent mistakes, unfortunately, can't be blamed on alcohol. His judgment has been impaired by emotion alone.

It still is. Perhaps he should just admit that: he looks up, over Ken's head at Gojyo, and says flatly, "No."

He'd killed a man, not too long ago, for keeping shinki against their will, he reflects. He can admit that he's a hypocrite, too.

"Don't talk about shit you don't understand anything about!" Gojyo shouts back, hands knotting into fists at his sides. "And don't pretend like you smashed my head into those bars because you care about me, Stinky. I don't know what he's told you," and here he waves in Hakkai's direction, "but whatever it was, he's wrong. He thinks I'm somebody I'm not."

Focused as he is on Ken, Gojyo misses the exchange between Hakkai and Chikusa... not that it would have made any difference. Instead, he uses his height to his advantage, stepping up closer to Ken and snarling down at him: "I'm leaving because I'm not even good enough for this fucked up house."

And, just for emphasis (or maybe because he's been subconsciously hoping for a physical fight since he sat down), Gojyo punctuates that last comment with a hard shove to Ken's chest.

Ken blinks at the shove, then scowls. However, fortunately for everyone, Ken is more obedient and determined to be good than he is hungry for a fight; he doesn't attack. He does, however, reach out and grab Gojyo's shirt.

"You weren't cooperating!" he snarls back. "And we were pretending to be cops! If I wanted to beat you up for kicks, I'd wait until you weren't injured and locked in a cell! You already caused enough trouble as it was that another prisoner tried to stop us getting you out! You could've just walked out of the stupid cell, but you had to be a dumbass!"

Ken doesn't seem intimidated by Gojyo's looming at all, since he leans up into it just to yell into his face better. "And what the hell do you mean you're not good enough? Who cares?! Hakkai-sama wants you here! He thinks you're good enough! If you don't think you are, then do what I do and try to get better, instead of just running away like a coward! I wouldn't be here with Kakipi if I just stayed afraid of not being good enough!"

So the bright side is that Hakkai, apparently, hasn't been drunk for his recent life decisions. The dark side, and which leaves Chikusa staring back down at the god blankly, is that Hakkai apparently hasn't been drunk for his recent life decisions. This means that solving his bouts of stupidity is going to be a lot harder than drinking all of the alcohol in the kitchen.

Well, Chikusa is all out of ideas on how to help his god on that front.

All the yelling happening across the table reminds him that it's a problem for later. Hakkai's various issues with his emotions, life choices, and probably everything else will take a lot longer to deal with. In comparison, he reflects as he turns his head to look back at where Ken and Gojyo are squaring off, the local redheaded idiot is really rather simple. That doesn't mean Chikusa has any better idea of how to deal with him, either, but that's fine. As he watches his partner fearlessly press his way into Gojyo's personal space, not shying away at all, he appreciates how bluntly his partner can approach this sort of thing-

Along with the kind of words he says. While none of it shows on his face, as is perfectly typical of Chikusa, Hakkai might be able to feel a flicker of intense gratitude amongst all the more fired up emotions such as Ken's rage and Gojyo's own despairing frustrations. It's probably the one good emotion in the whole mess, and it of course disappears as quickly as it had showed up. Ken really has stayed throughout a lot. Chikusa knows he's had a lot of trouble with keeping up, with feeling valued, and he's glad that he's part of the reason why Ken would want to try so hard. Not the whole reason, he knows, because Ken is as loyal as he is even if that loyalty comes about in different ways, but he likes to think he's a factor.

That he has a crush on Ken has absolutely nothing to do with it, of course.

Still, Ken clearly is better suited for perhaps tackling Gojyo through a wall and out of his own idiocy.... So Chikusa will give just a little bit of advice that he's perhaps neglected to completely tell his partner. With a deceptive amount of laxness, he calls across the table, "Ken. Earlier when I was talking to Hakkai, he said so long as he provoked you and you didn't break any bones or maul him, it'd be fine to fight a little."

This.... is a slight twisting of the truth, and 100% following less the letter of the law, and barely the spirit of it, either. But, technically, Hakkai only told Chikusa not to draw any bloodshed, or break any bones, or cause any serious bruising, or poison Gojyo. Ken never made any kind of agreement like that. Now only to see if Hakkai will call him out on the loophole he's trying to abuse.

After a pause, he at least remembers to add, "And don't do it inside." But he'll leave it to Ken's discretion on if punching Gojyo in the head to knock out the stupidity is called for.

It's Hakkai's shirt, actually. And Gojyo gives no fucks about it. Ken grabs him and he yanks back -- if the shirt gets ripped, so be it -- gleefully relishing the fury that washes through him. Fury is easy, and clean, and so much more pleasant when it's directed at other people.

"Hakkai-sama," he throws back at Ken, voice gone low and cold, "fucking Hakkai-sama thinks I'm his dead boyfriend, okay?" Something in his chest locks up, making it hard to get a full breath. "And I've remembered enough," he continues, bitterly, forcing the words through, "to know that I'm not the guy he's seeing."

He can't stop remembering. Every time he closes his eyes he sees Hakkai's face, smiling up at him. No, not him: at the Sha Gojyo who knew who he was. At the right Gojyo. He's the wrong one, the corpse still moving and feeling. (His anger is burning off, gutted by a rush of grief and self-loathing, and the guilt-blight on the back of his neck seethes up glistening purple.) Hakkai and Chikusa are talking, but Gojyo can't hear anything over the thudding of his own heartbeat and the deafening rush of blood in his ears. He can't be that other Sha Gojyo – even if he wanted to, he wouldn't know where to start – but the shell of a person that he's been reduced to doesn't know how to do anything that doesn't hurt other people.

If he says that out loud, though, Hakkai will feel compelled to fight with him, to try and convince him that he's wrong. And Gojyo will start to hope, and god, he's just so tired of hoping. So instead he'll pick a fight with Ken, and Ken will turn into some animal again, and beat him senseless, and for awhile Gojyo won't have to make any more decisions.

It's the best option, really.

Gojyo shoves Ken away again, hard. "So you and Caca-peepee can keep your helpin' hands to yourself.”

Yeah, that about does it.

Ken takes the opportunity of being shoved away to yank out a cartridge and snap it over his teeth in one smooth, practiced motion - Wolf Channel, which shouldn't surprise anyone, as it tends to be one of his favorites to default to. And then he's launching himself at Gojyo in a full-body tackle, teeth bared.

He's not exactly trying to fight indoors. Ideally, he'll pin Gojyo and that will be the full extent of the fight, because that won't involve trashing Hakkai's temple. But there's no way he's letting someone not just use his nickname for Chikusa, but mock it.

He'll address the other stupid stuff in a second.

"Don't call him that!" It's practically a roar.

Hakkai is not any good at fighting with people until they feel better. For a healer, he reflects, he's not very good at making other people feel better at all; closing their wounds, yes. Listening to their problems, and saying something useful, no.

And he's tried telling Gojyo he's wrong about being someone else; he's tried reasoning it out, and here he is, saying it again.

If Gojyo thinks he's the deluded one, no amount of reason is going to help. Perhaps fighting someone until he feels better is what he needs right now.

Hakkai cuts a glance sideways at Chikusa as Ken hurls himself into the tackle and the two go flying, each struggling for advantage.

"That's not exactly what I told you. But it's close enough."

The plates rattle dangerously on the table; Hakkai casts a thoughtful look over them, and then gets to his feet, starting to collect the water glasses as blight sears through him like acid, spilling very visible purple over the back of his neck.

Chikusa glances right back at Hakkai as the god looks at him, one eyebrow cocked up. "Ken technically didn't agree to anything like I did," he says simply, stepping away so that Hakkai has room to get to his feet. "So it's good enough." As long as there's no blood for them to clean up, it should be fine.

What isn't fine is the warped purple he can see crawling up the back of Hakkai's neck, a warning of something that will only get worse. Chikusa won't feel guilty for threatening to stab Gojyo in the eye with chopsticks; Ken might for getting into a fight but he also might not. No, this is a problem with every single bit of the origin being Gojyo. That means it's not going to be an easy thing to solve, not until they make the redhead himself stop being such a jackass.

So temporary measures will have to be used. While Ken and Gojyo rattle the walls with their struggle, and Hakkai collects the water glasses, Chikusa shuffles to one of the entrances leading out into the hallway. There, waiting like the live audience on a soap opera, are some of the nekomata population.

Pookie, typically, is right there at the front of the pack, and cranes her neck to look at him. They've probably all been enjoying the drama.... but whatever. It's useful in this case. "If you get some of the temple water," he says plainly, "then I'll give you the rest of my pork."

Just like magic, their ears all perk up, and more than a few tails start swishing. "The whole thing?" Pookie negotiaties carefully.

"Yeah."

"The terms of your agreement are accepted!" And just like that, the cats go darting off, claws scrabbling against the floor. Maybe they were actually just waiting for someone to get incapacitated so they could steal some meat anyway... Whatever. Turning away and trusting literal cat demons to stick to the task, Chikusa focuses on the fight once more.

What makes everything just that much harder is that, although he hates to admit it, he doesn't actually want to hurt Ken. He wraps his long arms around Ken's throat -- or tries to, anyway -- trying to use his size to force Ken to the ground. Ken's fast, and strong, and when he puts in any of those teeth, Gojyo's discovered, he's even faster and stronger yet.

But Gojyo's discovered that recently that he can take a lot of damage and keep going. And he's pretty fast and strong himself.

And an asshole, but he already knew that.

"What, are you defending his honor?" He manages to keep a shit-eating rictus grin plastered across his face as he and Ken pummel each other. "I didn't know you two had that kind of relationship." Distantly, he wondered what other magic teeth Ken might have in his pocket. What else can he turn into? An elephant? An ant? How far will Gojyo have to push him to find out? "You know he's not real either, right? None of us are."

"Nobody calls him that but me!" Ken snarls, even as he and Gojyo end up on the floor. Gojyo's welcome to try and keep his hold on Ken, but Ken's just going to plant hands (and feet, if he can land them on Gojyo's midsection/legs; he's barefoot and even his toes are clawed, so he can get a pretty good grip if Gojyo's not careful) and push off from the other man with all his might. And if Gojyo is particularly unwise, and keeps his arms around Ken's neck, he's going to give Ken the opportunity to turn his head and sink those fangs right into his arm.

He's not too worried about hurting Gojyo. For one thing, Ken is good at killing people, so he's got a pretty good grasp of what he can get away with that falls short. But even more conveniently, Ken's vessel form for Hakkai accelerates healing; if he damages Gojyo, he and Hakkai can fix it up in half an hour or so. Especially if, say, Gojyo is knocked out and has no choice but to lie still for it.

"Who cares what's real or not?! I like who he is! And he likes who I am! It doesn't matter who we used to be if we're happy with who we are, you dumbass!" Gojyo's going to be returning this shirt to Hakkai somewhat the worse for wear. "We're still the same people even if we don't remember stuff! Kakipi and I became partners even before we remembered that we were partners when we were alive, 'cause we're the same people who still do the same kinds of things! Why the hell do you think memories are so important anyway?!"

The entire yelling diatribe is delivered during the scuffle, punctuated by struggling, nipping - his jaws can cause serious damage, and while these are no love bites he's not actually trying to maul - scratching, and general pummeling..

Hakkai deposits the glasses in the sink, where if they tip (for instance, due to a couple of scuffling shinki slamming into the counter) they won't fall far enough to break, and turns to lean against the edge of the counter, arms crossed, watching the fray.

This is, if he's being completely honest, almost exactly how he'd imagined dinner ending. At least Ken is managing to say almost everything he'd have said, between blows.

He glances over at Chikusa, who's standing by the hallway door.

"You know, that won't work on my blight until he's over the guilt that caused it."

Or, of course, until he revokes Gojyo's name... but he's not doing that in the heat of this fight. He might, later. He might have to; he's enough of a hypocrite not to want to release him immediately, in the heat of the moment, before they've talked fairly. That doesn't make him enough of a hypocrite to refuse to release Gojyo ever.

He hopes, despite that, that he won't have to.

By the time Hakkai turns back to him, it will have been just in time to see Chikusa sink against the doorframe with his eyes locked right on Ken's struggling form. Amidst all the tempers flaring up inbetween the pair who are grappling on the ground, the feelings of "intense but soft fondness" and "flattered pleasure" are almost hilariously out of place. Chikusa won't apologize, either.

For one thing, they're feelings he much prefers over the murderous offense that had been going through him when Gojyo had been talking earlier. For another... It's always good to be reminded about how intensely Ken cares about him. Hell, it's not only that.... but how much Ken believes the same thing Chikusa does.

No matter how much they forgot, they still stayed alongside one another. Even if it wasn't exactly the same, how could it be in a new life without their entwined background? They still found one another, and stayed.

Hakkai's words snap him out of it, although he's a little slow to take his gaze away from Ken. "We can knock him out," Chikusa says simply. "Or I can drug him- which is technically different from poisoning." A pause. "There's less a chance of fatal side effects."

"If we're happy with who we are?" Gojyo repeats, incredulously. Ken's starting to get the upper, and Gojyo's all too aware of how exhausted and starved he's been. The pork sits heavy in his gut, and there's a flash of nausea and panic as Ken's teeth sink into his skin. Gojyo pounds on Ken's face to try and get him to let go.

"You really are dumb as a dog, aren't you?" The bite to him arm has freaked him out more than he'd realized, and his reactions start to become just a little more jerky, more anxious, especially when Ken's mouth gets anywhere near his upper arms.

Ken jerks back when his face is punched, releasing Gojyo's arm - and if his teeth don't come out entirely neatly, Gojyo, that's kind of your own fault there. But Gojyo releasing his neck to punch him means Ken's able to wriggle free, jumping back and spitting out some of Gojyo's blood before rubbing where he was punched. He'll have a black eye soon enough.

He stays crouched, clearly ready to pounce on Gojyo again should he be provoked or Gojyo show interest in continuing, but the space gives time for a momentary breather. Whether or not he sensed Gojyo's panic, and retreated as a result, is up in the air.

"What's dumb about it?" he grouses, scowling and sullen. "You're the one worrying about dumb stuff that doesn't matter. If Hakkai-sama wanted somebody you're not anymore, why would he be bothering with you the way you are now? Especially when you're being such a jerk? Either he likes who you are now, or you're still enough of the guy you used to be that the parts he liked are still there, even without your stupid memories."

Ken wipes blood off his lips with the back of his hand. "I've forgotten people, and been forgotten by people. And sure, it sucks, but why would you run away from somebody you like because one of you forgot stuff, instead of just making new memories with them? If you both still like the same things, and you still act the same ways, then you'll make friends with them again the same way you did the first time. I've done it before. Both with being forgotten, and forgetting. So if I'm dumb as a dog, then you're even dumber than a dog 'cause you can't even do things a dog can do."

"Or I can talk to him about it," Hakkai suggests, eyeing Chikusa. "Unconsciousness is only a temporary solution."

He can take a little pain. The blight isn't nearly as bad as it's been, in any case, although the corners of his eyes crimp a little with the effort of holding back fresh panic.

At least Chikusa's mood has improved, he reflects, keeping a cautious eye on Ken and Gojyo as he tenses to intervene, if he has to. The room reeks of clashing scents: cinnamon, anise and rendered pork fat, and the copper of fresh blood. Hakkai'd barely eaten anything before the dinner went irreversibly downhill, but he, too, has to swallow against a flutter of nausea at the combination.

"You've been talking to him," comes the grumble before his attention is snared yet again at the sound of a fist hitting another's head. That's Ken, and he shifts a little bit. Pookie and the others will bring the water when they need to. But if Ken is injured....

Well. His head is thick. It can take a beating. Still, it never hurts to be careful.

"He does have a point," he mutters, gaze flicking to Gojyo before settling back on his partner. "And Ken is pretty stupid."

Even for a dog.

Gojyo listens to Ken's little tirade, clutching his wounded arm in a white-knuckled grip and trying not to let on how out of breath he is. It's bullshit -- everything Ken's saying is bullshit. Worse, it's stupid bullshit. It's like something out of a comic book, where the scruffy hero boy yells at the mid-volume bad guy about love and friendship, and they end up allies.

What? He reads.

"If he likes the person I am now, he's even dumber than that," he offers, but it's a weak retort. Looking over Ken's shoulder, his gaze meets Hakkai's... but only for a second, before he looks away again, ashamed. This is how this Gojyo thanks the man who brought him home, fed him, gave him a place to sleep. this is who this Gojyo is -- all he knows how to do is fight, and hurt people, and mess things up.

His chest aches so badly he takes a step back. He's so tired. "I don't want to do this anymore." The words are barely more than a thought. "How do I make it stop?"

Gojyo's shame stings, spreading the blotch a little further across Hakkai's neck, but it hardly registers through the haze of secondhand emotion. He has no idea how much of the unsettled anger and despair swirling through him is his own, how much Gojyo's, or Ken's.

But Gojyo's stepping back from the fight, blood oozing over his fingers where they're clenched on his bitten arm, and Hakkai steps forward.

I don't want to do this anymore.

The whisper strikes echoes in his own dragging weariness, and he rounds the table, stopping an arm's length away. One of his hands is half-raised, lingering in the air: he doesn't know if he's going to cross his arms, or reach out. It can't be both.

"You choose to do something else," he says (is it Sanzo he's channeling now? Well, Ken does a good imitation of Goku; someone has to be Sanzo, and Hakkai's heard his harsh recommendations often enough to fake it.)

"Alive or dead, if you're still making choices, you can always make different ones."

And, he thinks, so can he. He doesn't cross his arms: instead, he reaches out, dropping his halfhearted attempt at a Genjo Sanzo impression, and rests his hand on the shoulder of Gojyo's bleeding arm.

He wasn't expecting touch. Direction, sure, orders to go wash up, to clean up this mess, to leave. Not a warm hand on his shoulder.

If he had any shame left, he'd be humiliated at the flood of relief and gratitute that washes over him.

"Shit," he laughs weakly. "Hakkai, I'm really fucked up."

And he's still not real. He's still not Sha Gojyo, and he never will be. But maybe the unwashed teenager is right (and oh god, he's going to have to pour an entire bottle of rubbing alcohol over his arm to kill whatever Ken's carrying around in his filthy mouth, isn't he?) Maybe he is what he is, and maybe that doesn't have to be something terrible. He was doing okay with Ekko, back before Heaven started putting some dead guy's memories into his head and fucking him all up. The memories aren't his, but he was given them for a reason.

And maybe that reason is Hakkai.

(Probably not, but living for somebody else for awhile isn't even in the ten ten of terrible decisions he's made.)

The back of Hakkai's neck is an angry purple, and Gojyo swallows hard against the feelings of guilt that the stain wants to evoke. He's blighted Hakkai enough for one day.

"You, ah." Is this okay? Can he do this? "You want to show me where the shrine water is?"

And right on cue....

"Our arrival as foretold!" a squeaky voice announces from the hallway, and Chikusa sighs.

"Pookie..." Whatever. If the cat wants to hype herself up, far be it from him to waste energy on countering it. Going to the hallway, he guides a small troupe of nekomata into the dining room. There's a good five of them, Pookie included, but it's the cat with the vivid green eyes who's at the head. A bucket of water sloshes inbetween them, held up carefully by seemingly nothing. The cat at the helm flicks her tails, guiding them with the movements so that they can avoid bumping into chairs. Soon, however, the bucket is dropped onto the floor with a thunk, and the cats all look towards Chikusa expectantly.

Well. He guesses he made a deal. Sighing, Chikusa shuffles back to the table to start separating bits of meat so that none of the nekomata can complain about their share. "Ken, go get the first aid kit for your face..." His gaze flicks to the two adults. "Do you want your food, Hakkai?"

Nothing said, yet, to Gojyo. But he still watches the redhead carefully while the nekomata abandon the bucket, instead crowding around his feet.

"No, thank you, I'm done," Hakkai says over his shoulder. Apparently the remains of his dinner are the cost of that bucket of water.

Which is, really, a shame, as he doesn't want to pour water all over his kitchen floor. He hasn't taken his eyes from Gojyo's face; after a long moment, he squeezes his friend's shoulder, and lets his hand fall.

"You are," he says, in the dry tone he uses when the joke is more honesty than humor, "but then, that's no different from the rest of us here. Chikusa, I'll just take that bucket outside with Gojyo so we don't have to mop the floor after we've dealt with the blight; can you take care of Ken?"

He's hoping again. Hakkai holds his gaze and Gojyo doesn't let himself look away, not even when the knot in his throat threatens to choke him. The rising hope taunts him: maybe things will be better this time. Maybe he won't fuck everything up. Maybe nobody will die.

He sucks in a shuddering breath, and follows wherever Hakkai leads. He's making a choice, and that choice is to try -- for as long as Hakkai will let him. He was happiest as Ekko's shinki, so maybe...? Maybe he'll be happy at Hakkai's.

But he can't stay Hakkai's shinki, can he?

"I still want you to unname me," he says at last, keeping his voice low enough that hopefully nobody else will hear and feel compelled to chime in. He shoots an pologetic glance at Hakkai, and then a longer, more pointed one at the back of Hakkai's neck. "If you're gonna get hurt every time I feel bad about somethin', I'm not gonna be able to stop feelin' bad."

Fighting ayakashi with Hakkai was one of his best experiences here, and he doesn't want to give that opportunity up. But he won't let his stupid decisions hurt anyone else. The only person who he's going to blight is himself, thank you very much.

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