won't you take me

[kokuyoyo]

Who: The Li Tieguai clusterfuck
What: Well, we're out of a shitty haunted forest, who wants dinner?
When: November 16, evening
Where: Li Tieguai's Temple

Usually, when there's some big nonsense in Heaven, Chikusa can be found out cold or "away" in his own head for most of the following couple of days afterwards... but that apparently only counts for event which involve people. Spending an entire day trekking through a possessed forest filled with violent plant-life and cultists is manageable.... somehow.

No matter how exhausted or injured anyone in the temple is, food still has to be made, and Hakka is in no condition to make it. Thus, dinner is being arranged by the other cook in the house, and invitations have been sent out to the relevant people Chikusa thinks care- namely Nanako and Ayumu, along with anyone they seek to bring. That doesn't mean people checking in on the Li Tieguai temple can't just waltz right into the dinner as well....

There's a lot to do in the time leading up to dinner, after all, depending on when people show up (or, you know, realize there's smells coming from the kitchen). Bon, the resident enormous Tibetan Mastiff, demands attention in the form of bodily flinging himself at people. There's a goat in the garden, tied away from all the important medical herbs. At least four different nekomata wander in and out of the temple ground whenever they please, including Pookie, the most permanent resident, and never shut up.... Not to mention that a Kung-Fu movie has been put on the television for people to watch.

There's also a sign on all entrances to the kitchen that says: CHO HAKKAI IS NOT ALLOWED TO COOK. Presumably Chikusa put it up while making direct eye contact with him.

Either way, mess around until dinner, have dinner, crash in the living room where another kung-fu movie has been put on again... Have fun.

Oh, and before it can be forgotten.... The dinner menu for the night is fritto misto, meaty Amatriciana sauce with bucatini noodles, and all the garlic bread in the world apparently. For dessert? Cannoli again. That... might be all he knows how to make on the dessert front.

Comments

[kokuyoyo]

[Any faintly good thoughts Chikusa has had about Goku based upon first impression are quickly, he's discovered, going down the drain with the day's events.]

[The attempted meat theft, well, he'd almost expected that. Mostly he'd been expecting Ken, but Goku, well... Goku reminds him of Ken in so many ways that he's not particularly surprised he'd had to chase off the monkey from it. Yet he'd been stupidly optimistic in thinking that would be the end of it. While there's plenty of bread that one or two pieces wouldn't really be missed, it'd been the principle of the thing.]

[Goku's really made some horrible mistakes here now. Now, Chikusa is on high alert.]

[Right as his hand is inching towards the tomato, there's a crack of the rolling pin against the edge of the counter. Chikusa doesn't look up.]

Touch it... and I'll make sure you don't get anything else the rest of the night.

[Yes. He's aware what kind of threat that is.]

[rockthemonkey]

[Goku yelps, jumping back in fright at the sound.]

I wasn't gonna! [He absolutely was gonna.] Come on, Chikusa, I'm so hungry! I'm gonna starve to death!

[Sure, he could go make himself a snack while trying not to disturb Chikusa's work, but he doesn't want to. All the food Chikusa's preparing smells so good. Also, he kind of wants to hang out with him a bit.]

[kokuyoyo]

[Good to know that's all it took. He didn't want to have to chase Goku if he tried to snag and run out of panic. Sighing, Chikusa keeps the rolling pin in one hand even as he sorts things out with his other.]

You're a god. I don't think you can starve to death. Couldn't you just go somewhere else... and get food that way....

[rockthemonkey]

[Goku's good at being scolded. He's used to it. Yes, he absolutely is fast enough to get past Chikusa and run off with a plate of food. But that's not how these things work. ]

I'm not really a god... [Goku grumbles, eyeing that tomato still. He's a monkey, he'll totally starve.] I'm just really hungry... And all this smells so good...

[kokuyoyo]

Put up with it.

[He's not afraid to commit murder with this thing, so help him god. Still, he needs his other hand for this next part, so he reluctantly puts the rolling pin down while keeping an eye on Goku.]

Where's Hakkai?

[rockthemonkey]

[The rolling pin is down- maybe now is his chance! Goku licks his lips and starts to slowly edge towards the food.]

Hakkai? He's around somewhere...

[Goku has been keeping close to Hakkai most of the day- partly because he doesn't want to be alone and partly because Hakkai honestly needs to be babysat sometimes. But if Chikusa wanted someone to keep an attentive eye on his god, he shouldn't have cooked such delicious smelling food.]

[kokuyoyo]

[Goku. Goku. He is staring right at you. Chikusa sighs and reaches towards something closer to the wall.]

So you don't know.

[With that established, Chikusa pulls out a spray bottle and aims right towards the monkey's face.]

[rockthemonkey]

GAAH!

[Goku shields his face and backs away from the counter.]

What the hell?! Don't do that!

[kokuyoyo]

I wouldn't have to if you stopped stealing.

[The water in the bottle swishes around threateningly.]

Go bother Hakkai. Or punch Gojyo. [Anything but bothering him.]

[rockthemonkey]

We're gonna eat it anyway! Why does it matter when?

[He couldn't possibly spoil his appetite, after all.]

You go punch Gojyo if you wanna so bad! Why're you askin' about Hakkai anyway?

[kokuyoyo]

"You" isn't "we".

[And he can tell Goku would definitely take a mile if he was given an inch.]

I'm asking about Hakkai... because he's dumb when he's injured. Do you want food or not?

[rockthemonkey]

Well, yeah, he can be...

[Goku tentatively looks up at Chikusa, hopeful.]

... If I go find Hakkai and stop him bein' dumb, can I have a snack?

[He'd do it for free, but Hakkai would surely approve of paid work.]

[kokuyoyo]

[For a moment, Chikusa doesn't say anything, just continues to put some things in a bowl while he eyes Goku. On one hand, he'd rather give no quarter. No inch, no mile. On the other hand...]

Maybe.

[rockthemonkey]

[Goku grins. Hakkai'll be so proud of him for scamming Chikusa out of food.]

If you wanted someone to make him go to bed or something, you shoulda asked Gojyo.[It's a bit much to ask of even Gojyo, but he'd stand a better chance than Goku.] But I can make sure he's not doin' anything dumb or wearing himself out, don't worry.

[kokuyoyo]

Gojyo's an idiot.

[...]

And you sort of are too.... so I don't see how one of you would do better than the other. [Another pause.] Unless you mean sex, I guess....

[rockthemonkey]

What?

[Goku looks honestly befuddled for a moment. Then his eyes go wide and he just looks grossed out.]

Ew, no! Hakkai's not weird like that! He wouldn't!

[Goku may be a little out of the loop on this one.]

[kokuyoyo]

[Oh, sweet summer child. Chikusa adjusts his bowl.]

They've already gotten intimate. I thought you would have known.

[rockthemonkey]

[What the hell is Chikusa talking about? Goku thinks he definitely would know if Hakkai and Gojyo were doing stuff like that. Which they definitely aren't. Gojyo, maybe, but Hakkai? No way.]

There's no way! You're makin' stuff up. Hakkai wouldn't do anything perverted like that.

[kokuyoyo]

....I said they got intimate... I didn't say Hakkai had a foot fetish or anything...

[He doesn't know that much about Hakkai's apparent love and sex life. Just far more than he ever would have wanted to know.]

[rockthemonkey]

Don't say gross stuff!

[When you spent most of your adolescence with Genjo Sanzo, surrounded by monks, you can pick up some kind of weird ideas about sex. Hanging out with Sha Gojyo and watching him be a dumbass doesn't help debunk these ideas.]

Gojyo's a perverted cockroach but Hakkai's real smart and stuff so he wouldn't do anything like that! [And Goku is one of the few people that likes Gojyo.] I'd've noticed if they were together like that!

[kokuyoyo]

I've noticed too. While I've been living here. With him. As his shinki.

[Sighing, he squints down at the dough to get a good look at it. Is it right yet....]

Anyway, they both told me they'd done it, because they're dumb about each other.

[rockthemonkey]

[Maybe Chikusa misunderstood something. Maybe he's just a perverted kappa too. Hell, maybe Goku is misunderstanding.]

... I'm gonna go find Hakkai and make sure he's not being dumb. [Which with Hakkai he'd always expected to involve bodily injury, either his own or someone else's, not this.] Quit thinking about perverted stuff!

[Yeah, Chikusa, quit being a pervert. Goku has clean his head out with laundry detergent now.]

[kokuyoyo]

Good. Go do that. I have to make dinner.

[No answer on the 'quit thinking about perverted stuff'. Because, as it turns out, he refuses.]

[He just got a boyfriend, he's super going to think about perverted stuff, and Goku can fight him on it.]