thenearshore | won't you take me

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won't you take me

Who: The Li Tieguai clusterfuck
What: Well, we're out of a shitty haunted forest, who wants dinner?
When: November 16, evening
Where: Li Tieguai's Temple

Usually, when there's some big nonsense in Heaven, Chikusa can be found out cold or "away" in his own head for most of the following couple of days afterwards... but that apparently only counts for event which involve people. Spending an entire day trekking through a possessed forest filled with violent plant-life and cultists is manageable.... somehow.

No matter how exhausted or injured anyone in the temple is, food still has to be made, and Hakka is in no condition to make it. Thus, dinner is being arranged by the other cook in the house, and invitations have been sent out to the relevant people Chikusa thinks care- namely Nanako and Ayumu, along with anyone they seek to bring. That doesn't mean people checking in on the Li Tieguai temple can't just waltz right into the dinner as well....

There's a lot to do in the time leading up to dinner, after all, depending on when people show up (or, you know, realize there's smells coming from the kitchen). Bon, the resident enormous Tibetan Mastiff, demands attention in the form of bodily flinging himself at people. There's a goat in the garden, tied away from all the important medical herbs. At least four different nekomata wander in and out of the temple ground whenever they please, including Pookie, the most permanent resident, and never shut up.... Not to mention that a Kung-Fu movie has been put on the television for people to watch.

There's also a sign on all entrances to the kitchen that says: CHO HAKKAI IS NOT ALLOWED TO COOK. Presumably Chikusa put it up while making direct eye contact with him.

Either way, mess around until dinner, have dinner, crash in the living room where another kung-fu movie has been put on again... Have fun.

Oh, and before it can be forgotten.... The dinner menu for the night is fritto misto, meaty Amatriciana sauce with bucatini noodles, and all the garlic bread in the world apparently. For dessert? Cannoli again. That... might be all he knows how to make on the dessert front.

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[And, that quickly, Hakkai is saved from being swarmed by the dog. Guests are much more exciting than residents, after all. He watches with a distant little smile as Ayumu is swarmed by the dog.

She's been trying, that much is obvious, but it's just as obvious that she's devastated.

Unfortunately, he knows the feeling.]

I'm sorry, he still hasn't learned his manners.

It's fine. I don't mind.

[And she really doesn't, even if she does have to shield her mouth to prevent Bon's tongue from going into it. There's something charming about the boisterous nature of an overgrown puppy. It's almost like the forthright speech of a child in a roundabout way.]

I'm used to this kind of thing from the kittens. They can be pretty demanding sometimes. And don't really understand the concept of personal space. I guess that could be said about all cats though.

Cats and dogs both, I'm afraid.

[As puppies go, Bon is very overgrown, but still not even quite a year old. Hakkai ducks his head in acknowledgment, silent for another moment or two before he offers:]

I'm sorry about Sanzang.

[Unlike with Chikusa, Ayumu's less inclined to try and hide her sorrow from Hakkai. Aside from certain issues she's unwilling to touch with a ten foot pole now, she's a little more willing to display weakness in his presence. She allows some of her grief to surface in a pained expression but suppresses the tears threatening to accompany it. If Sanzang was here, she'd encourage her to cry but there's just too many around for her to give in to a breakdown.

So instead she simply gives a slight nod, murmuring quietly.]

Thank you.

[She can't quite bring herself to ask how he knows since she's certain Chikusa would have kept him under house arrest. She'd been too preoccupied with helping Lavi and trying to find Sanzang in the meadow to really check on him aside from visual confirmation that he hadn't died and his shinki had made it out intact.

(She should have stayed with Sanzang; she shouldn't have left her and taken off on her own. If she hadn't taken Sanzang for granted, dedicated herself to protecting her goddess like she was supposed to, maybe she wouldn't have been spirited away.

Two gods under her care - one died and one vanished-)

Ayumu swallows hard and busies herself with petting Bon before she just starts falling apart completely. She doesn't trust herself to say anything else at the moment.]

You know it's the Heavens' fault, not yours.

[Hakkai's murmur is equally quiet. He can see the way the corner of her eyes crinkle, fiercely unwilling to let tears slip free. She had been getting along well with Sanzang; better than she had with him, and now, here he is, still. And Sanzang is gone again.

He folds his hands on his knee, and looks down at his primly crossed legs, letting the silence cover whatever else there might be to say. She's no fool, after all. She's prone to blaming herself for things that aren't her fault, but she knows all of the standard responses to grief.

It's always felt to him as though reciting the standard phrases cheapens the reality of the loss. Perhaps that's just his reaction, though.]

I know.

[It's a bald-faced lie but hopefully, it'll fool Hakkai or at least, he'll be unwilling to call her out on it in front of the other guests. Heaven didn't make her leave Sanzang's side during a time of danger. She made that choice all by herself, along with her subsequent choices to aid others instead of returning to her goddess's side as quickly as possible.

No, she isn't going to blame Heaven or anyone else for the decisions she's made. Could she have protected Sanzang from whatever force had taken her? Maybe, maybe not, but no one will ever know for sure now.

Ayumu buries her face in Bon's fur briefly, just focusing on the texture of it and his scent to keep her grounded in the here and now. If Hakkai's inclined to check under her hair for blight, it's a good opportunity while Bon has her occupied.]

["I know," she says, and bows her head, her hair falling forward just enough to bare a tongue of purple reaching over her skin.

It's clear she doesn't believe him -- or that she's blaming herself for something else. Hakkai's lips flatten out unhappily.

There's no lecture, though, that will cure the grief and self-blame that comes of losing a well-suited god. Not, certainly, if she's anything as much like him as she's often seemed to be. At least she's not too much like Chikusa; while she's bearing fresh blight, she's not destroying herself with it on the spot.]

Where have you been staying?

At Lavi's. He offered me a place to stay if I needed it a while back. I decided to take him up on it. It's only temporary, though.

[Ayumu will have to seek another god soon and perhaps that's the worst part of it. No time to reflect or recover, no time to mourn. If she doesn't pick someone to serve, Heaven will choose for her again. Ayumu had gotten lucky with Sanzang. Next time she might not be so lucky.]

If I stay too long, I might start attracting ayakashi to their doorstep, you know? They don't deserve that.

I don't think there's any need to worry about attracting ayakashi.

[He's never noticed any difference in ayakashi reactions to shinki with or without gods... although he also hadn't ever gone too long without a god. The one time he'd tried, he'd found himself assigned to Yuri before he'd had the chance to recover.]

Although you might have a bit of a problem with that blight.

[His tone is studiedly mild; there's no judgment in it. He's mostly checking to be sure that she knows about the stain.]

...I'll take care of it.

[She doesn't want it to spread to Lavi or Cardia, after all. Though if she can't, maybe she should seek another place to stay sooner rather than later. Or at least, be more careful about touching other people. Not that she's physically affectionate with many people besides the boys and Lavi now that Sanzang's gone. As for Hakkai, that was simply an indiscretion and one they agreed wouldn't be happening again.

But that's enough about her. Time to change the subject.]

How are you feeling?

[She hadn't seen Hakkai's condition firsthand but she'd seen what that forest had done to Lavi and others. He must be tired.]

I was lucky enough to escape without serious injury. I should be back to normal in another day or so.

[I'll take care of it sounds like, whether she'd known before Hakkai's comment or not, she's not in any mood to accept assistance.

He can, he supposes, respect that. He'll worry more if she hasn't found a new god before it's gone far enough to be dangerous... but she's a sensible woman, and not one who would risk being assigned to a god who would mistreat her. He tilts his head in a gesture that's a sketch of a shrug.]

I'm afraid I was quickly outfought by a tree.

[That comment does make her smile a little. It's not that she's against Hakkai's assistance. She just needs a little more time to mentally process and adjust to the loss before she can speak about it. Sanzang had seemed so much wiser, stronger, and well, better than Ayumu in just about every way. But there was little envy on her part, if anything there had been unspoken awe and admiration. It's not just a terrible personal loss in her mind; it's a loss for everyone. And it's barely been a day.

She's glad that Hakkai's well, more or less, however, and her smile widens a fraction. This she can do - play along with his banter for a bit.]

I hope you gave it a fierce battle before it captured you with its branches.

I snapped several twigs, but it had more of those than I have fingers.

[He's keeping his tone teasingly light; it seems that the silly banter is lightening her spirits. With the darkness of the previous topic, almost anything would be better, but still.]

[The lighter conversation is cheering her up a little. It's far from an actual cure for what ails her but she'll take what she gets.]\

How unfortunate. And inconvenient of it. It's too bad your opponent wasn't flesh and blood. Perhaps you should start carrying around one of those handheld things that make fire.

[The word she's looking for is 'lighter'. And the only reason she knows about them is because one of the gentlemen in a drama she watches carries one.]

Ha ha, I did have a lighter on hand, but the leaves didn't catch well.

[He hadn't tried, to be honest, but fires take time and work to start in a forest, and the point at which he's being attacked by multiple moving trees is not the point for finding some bark to scrape into tinder.

His chuckle is easy and cheerful.]

I suppose you'd need to also keep an accelerant on hand, too, for it to be effective. Being surrounded by trees out for your blood sounds like a pretty difficult situation.

[And rather horrifying, really. At the time, she'd been too focused on the search and rescue effort, gathering information, and supervising Chikusa's interrogation to really think about it. The thought of Sanzang fighting off the forest alone in that situation -

No, her temple vanished, too. That means she escaped this world, right? Like Sharak did. She needs to believe that, even if it brings the realization Sanzang had abandoned her.]

If only I'd known in advance that I'd be attacked by trees on the way to school....

[And yet, he hadn't been nearly prepared enough. If he'd been going into the forest deliberately, it would have been a different matter.

Of course, if he had, Chikusa would be right to be annoyed at him.]

Ah well.

I don't think many consider the possibility of an ambush by plant life on the way to work.

[It's a little bit of a relief to hear that Hakkai hadn't sought out the forest deliberately. Maybe he's learned a thing or two since she served under him. For all her regrets about leaving Chikusa with a mess, he seems like a more capable guide for him than she's ever been. Her attempts just seem to make him upset or make him angry more often than not.

After a moment of comtemplative silence, she speaks up again, her tone serious.]

I'm sorry about the other day. I was out of line.

[Is she referring to their indiscretion or their argument? Who knows. But she's sorry she upset him and with the way things have gone lately, she'd rather say it before either one of them had a chance to die again or disappear.]

[They'd talked about their indiscretion, and she hadn't apologized for it then -- nor should she have. So, clearly, she must be apologizing for the argument. Hakkai looks away, the line of his shoulders sagging a little from their usual neat posture.]

It's all right. Maybe you're right, anyway, and it's better not to....

Certainly, if we all really meant what happened at the harvest moon viewing, it's better to give him space.

Maybe it's selfish of me but I don't want to see you - either of you - get hurt.

[She'd spoken up for Hakkai's sake, too, after all. Too many people she cares about have been suffering. Even Sanzang had suffered. Between theirs and her own, it's taken a heavy toll. If they truly love each other and can make each other happy, she'll step aside and say nothing more about it. Even if they make each other unhappy, she'll let it go. And try to find a way to forget how sad it makes her feel.]

It's not my decision to make for you two. You're adults.

[Sanzang had warned her about that once, about her tendency to mother friends too much instead of just letting them make their own mistakes and learn from it. Ayumu's said her piece on it; she'd only wind up repeating herself, anyway.]

It's certainly not selfish. It might be a little late, though.

[He glances up, with a flash of wry amusement.]

I'll do my best.

Thank you. There's too much misery and not enough happy things in people's lives these days.

[Maybe that's the path forward Ayumu needs to take. Just making sure everyone else finds some sort of happiness. Sanzang had always wanted to help people. Not that she's gone, maybe it's the best way to honor her friend's memory.

She owes her that much after failing her so often.

The smile on Ayumu's face is almost eerily pleasant but otherwise looks natural. She's always been a very convincing actress when she wants to be and she wants to be right now.]

Edited 2018-05-15 07:03 (UTC)

[Hakkai watches her, silent for a long moment. Her smile, in another context, would have been extremely convincing.

Or, perhaps, it's just that it would be convincing deployed against someone who uses that expression as a shield less often.

He shakes his head, at last, and looks back at the movie, where someone in a flamboyant red jacket is being thrown out of screen with a quite nice judo move.]

You don't have to smile like that, you know.

[The smile starts to fade but her tone stubbornly retains its false cheer.]

It's better than crying in front of all of these people, isn't it?

[Her eye follows the man in the red. What a charming jacket he's wearing. Maybe she should see if she can find one like it after she has a home and money of her own again. It might cheer her up a little.]

[In some ways, they really are too similar. Pride, for instance.

It might be a self-destructive emotion in the end, but Hakkai knows how hard it is to let it go, and so he smiles in turn. His voice, though, has none of her forced cheer; it's quiet and sympathetic.]

Well, in that case... you don't have to not smile, either.

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