[closed] you belong with me

[sharkmaid]

Who: Rin (sharkmaid) and Sousuke (takenwithhim)
When: Beginning of December
Where: Eros' Castle
What: Sousuke regains his memories of his best friend and Major Feels ensue.



It's gotten colder between the two shores. The day's were shorter, evening's quieter. And Rin being the morning person he was seemed to be sleeping more these past few weeks. Ever the picky one, he couldn't quite find a comfortable balance between the seasons. It was always too hot, too cold, never just the right temperature to settle down instead of constantly being on the move. Not to mention being without his favorite pillow most nights... However, it's gotten easier, and he's fairly certain he knew the reason. Having something and someone always there, always constant... He felt just right.

Rin didn't normally curl up under the covers, but with temperatures dipping just above freezing outside only the top of his head peeked up now, maroon strands disheveled but soft, somehow managing to fall in a tidy mess against his pillow. Despite having an entire half of a giant bed for himself though, he's scooted over closer to the middle with head tucked in towards his chest and arms stretched out to the side. Not exactly reaching for something. Not intentionally anyway. More... subconscious. Secretly wanting to find something, grab on, hold it close.

Sousuke probably didn't sign up for that sort of behavior when he decided to share Rin's bed, did he?

Dawn was still a few hours away when he shifted in his sleep, arms curling tighter around his best friend's middle, some indistinguishable sleep talk muttered against his chest. It seemed like if he could, he'd stay in this position forever.

Hm. No. Sousuke definitely didn't sign up for any of that.

Comments

[sharkmaid]

He hated crying. He hated how sensitive he was, how easy it was to break down in a weak display in front of the people he cherished the most, the people he had to be the strongest for. But no amount of hating would stop Rin’s heart from doing what it wanted. Crying, apologizing, probably saying some stupid things he’d forget or deny in the next few hours if he could ever fall back asleep... falling in love with his own best friend. There was no way Sousuke could be enjoying all of this either. After a rush of memories in the dead of night, here he was with a near hysterical god crying over his body over something neither of them had control over all this time. So many things he wanted to leap in a do, everything all at once. He selfishly wanted to ask more questions. He wanted to shove his hand into his face as if the pressure would force his tears back into his eyes. He wanted to turn the light off, shut his eyes and make absolutely certain everything he felt wasn’t some cruel dream.

He wanted to touch him, feel him... hold him as closely as humanly possible and never let go.

Hearing those words repeated nearly ripped his heart in two and with a shuddering breath he lowered his gaze to the side again to try and compose himself. If he stayed looking at him for too long, his chest would burn. Everything, every question, memory and word he held back for so long would come spilling out along with his tears, and he couldn’t put Sousuke through something so dramatic. One step at a time. He needed to start small, be patient, breathe... Still. After waiting as long as he did, no one could really expect him to be patient, right?

Then, hands on his cheeks. Warmth blooming from both palms, both sets of fingers, radiating out to burrow deep beneath his skin. If he shut his eyes he would have sworn the morning sun was on his face. But no. One look back and the view was the same. Soft yet captivating... a pair of teal eyes that finally recognized his face. Embarrassment flooded his chest quickly with Sousuke’s response though, and Rin nudged his damp, reddened cheeks into both hands more for comfort than anything else. He knew he was right anyway. He did what he could, the best that he could, because with anything less Sousuke would easily slip through his fingers. Beyond that, unfortunately, what else could he do? He might’ve apologized for apologizing if his best friend wasn’t already such an expert at keeping him grounded. Well. Maybe they both already said enough.

Or so he thought.

“Don’t forget me again,” he muttered. Borderline pled, really. Hard to pick apart tones and such when you have salt on your tongue and lips to your lips... eventually tongue to tongue too once he broke through his stunned haze long enough to chase a few spontaneous urges. Blame his heart again, he supposed. Always doing whatever it wanted most. “I won’t let it happen again.”

[takenwithhim]

Rin might hate it, but Sousuke had long since accepted that was simply how his best friend was. It felt so good to be able to say that; even with some of his memories obviously missing, the fact he could remember everything he experienced with Rin… It was overwhelming him with relief and elation. Rin was a gentle soul, tender and emotional as well as strong and passionate. It made him who he was and Sousuke didn’t want to chance a single fraction of it if he could. Ignoring all the times he told him not to cry because he really didn’t like to see Rin cry even if he accepted that he did. As for his enjoyment… There were different kinds enjoyment. No, he didn’t enjoy Rin crying and even now he was gently brushing at his face, wiping his tears away as they fell down his cheeks. But he enjoyed being with him, being here to be able to wipe away said tears. Rin might be his hysterical got bawling all over his face… but there was no way Sousuke could blame him for it. Not when he had a lump in his throat as well from all the memories swarming around his head.

At some point, he knew he was going to sit down and just ruminate. Probably in private as the memories were bound to have some very… trying moments. He tried not to dwell on much of any of them right now, using the memories he and Rin made together here in the Far Shore to be a sort of buffer between his mind and the sudden unveiling of half his life pouring into his memory.

Rin probably had plenty of questions of his own. Things he couldn’t talk about or ask about while Sousuke lay trapped within the shinki amnesia. They’re there, he could see them bubbling in his throat and on his lips, but Rin was holding them back for his comfort. Just like the soft-hearted, kind god he always knew him as. As much as Sousuke wanted to open up and talk for the hours needed… he knew it would be too much right now as well. So reluctantly had to reign himself in as well and be patient. Not that being patient was a very strong point of his…

It would’ve been impossible not to touch him. To hold him so he knew it was okay to cry, that Sousuke wasn’t upset or frustrated with his reactions. Cupping his face, brushing his skin with his fingers, thumbs smoothing over slender cheekbones to wipe away the drizzle of his tears. It’s okay, Rin. I’m right here. I remember you. They were still together. Even without his memories, they found their way together and rebuilt the bond they had in the past. Even with all the hints and suggestions, Sousuke could never be sure that “he” was the person Rin remembered. But now… Aa, he knew. All the way to the “Tokyo friend” Rin talked about whenever they went to the Near Shore. Everything Rin did had been for him, for his safety. There was no way he could be angry with him for that. If Rin wanted to keep apologizing for it, fine… for now. But that wasn’t the case and all that came from it was a quiet plea and a promise.

Sousuke leaned his head forward, drawing Rin’s down until their foreheads touched. Lips met. Mouths met. Breaths entwined. Kissing Rin again with so much more behind the touch. It almost felt like kissing him for the very first time. Again. Though they knew the reality of the situation and their lack of control, it still felt good to hear Rin “reprimand” him for forgetting, and the promising never to allow it again. Sousuke smiled softly into the touch and nodded. “I won’t. I promise.”

[sharkmaid]

He felt lightheaded now. Exhausted, dazed. As if he’d been crying all day and night. But while it was tempting to curl back up and fall asleep before dawn, Sousuke’s hands were still on his face, and he couldn’t bring himself to tear himself away. Something familiar. To keep his grounded, keep him safe. He complained about all that being so childish before. Now he couldn’t care less. He’d been without pieces of his best friend for far too long to deny himself this attention. Sooner or later everything would finally sink in and he could rest easy knowing they’d still be together, just as they were and always would be. Until then, he needed to breathe. Stay present, focused, calm. Not just for himself, but for Sousuke.

Tap. And for once in all these minutes of crying and confessing he smiled softly, quiet laughter bubbling in his chest in between tiny hiccuped breaths. You found me, he wanted to tell him. I never stopped believing you would. And now you’re here. All the pieces in place... Not to say Sousuke was ever broken before. Just a little lost. ... Never thought he’d see the day he finally found his way on his own.

With a nudge between their foreheads, Rin raised his hand, making to prop it up on the bed instead of keeping it pressed to his partner’s chest, but... Ah. Frozen. Fingers hesitated just before lifting too far, eyes half lidded, pupils dilated. Yes. That’s right. Sousuke’s skin was just as it always was beneath his palms. Still soft and unscarred... Even here, right where his shinki name lie embedded into his shoulder. A quick glance over and he slowly lowered his fingers back down, more and more until each one curved over the sloped shape. A painful reminder they weren’t back home. ... a painful reminder what awaited them once they finally were.

He didn’t think much of it. Only moved as his body demanded. Lower and lower until his body would be full pressed to Sousuke’s from every angle, head rested on his collar... fingers still barely covering his right shoulder.

“... Promise me one more thing.” A beat. Then, “Promise you’ll tell me whenever this hurts. If ever it comes back... I won’t let you go it alone.”

[takenwithhim]

There was a moment in time when he felt everything winding tight. Perhaps not winding, but filling up to the brim. When there was only so much he could take before it finally glimmered over the edge and spilled. That moment. Right before Rin smiled and Sousuke knew his best friend was going to be alright. It’d been a hell of a wake up call in the middle of the night; the moon still outside illuminated the bed with patches of silver rays diced through by the elegant designs across the glass. But just like the sakura trees surrounding the castle, the interior was once again peaceful and calm. Some of what had been missing—the most important parts of what had been missing—were now returned. Not enough to see his entire reflection, but more than enough for him to know he was who he was looking at.

Sousuke blinked as fingers settled on his shoulder. The one where his shinki name lay emblazoned over his skin. The one that had broken down… and rendered his dream a shattered darkness. There was no pain. The burning throb and the stabbing ice down to the core of his muscle failed to rise to the surface. Yet his mind remembered it. From the times he lay in bed above Rin in the Samezuka dorms, gritting his teeth and clenching his shoulder until his knuckles turned red and his lips threatened to bleed, doing everything he could not to make a single noise or motion that might give away his failure to the young man sleeping below him.

Rin would never know… That was what he determined to undertake. And eventually, even that determination fell apart. Rin knew… All this time, he’d known. The attention to his shoulder, the firm insistence that Sousuke submit to a massage after swimming, the quiet eye watching to make sure he didn’t overdo himself in the pool. That was why… You never stopped protecting me. Even from myself.

He grunted a little when his forehead got pushed, but it was enough to part them so Rin could tug his hand out and put it on the bed. His lover’s reaction wasn’t entirely surprising either. With his memories now, Rin knew Sousuke also knew, and he was fast enough to put things together pretty quickly. Even during intimate times, Rin paid attention to him, kissing his shoulder, frowning if he thought Sousuke rolled his arm too far despite the swimmer’s flexible shoulders. Fingers cupped as they were over the curve of his shoulder, Sousuke silently admitted to the past as Rin held him protectively. The negative cloud may be gone here, but it remained waiting for them when they got home… But, it was gone here. There was no point inviting the troubles that didn’t need to be present.

Sousuke breathed out in relief and pleasure as Rin sank down upon him, long legs tangling together as their chests and hips came flush to each other. Touching everywhere they could… The taller boy slowly lifted his legs, threading them through Rin’s and hooking around them as his loverl rested his head on his collar. Sousuke now recognized the irony of his shoulders being one of his erogenous zones… and why Rin was always a little hesitant to indulge that. He tilted his head down, lips nuzzling against Rin’s head as his boyfriend presented such a simple, treasured, and ludicrous request. How could he refuse such a thing?

“Saying such a thing to me now…” Sousuke kissed the top of Rin’s head, lipping some of the glossy maroon strands. “Aa. If it ever does… I promise. I won’t hide from you again.”

[sharkmaid]

Rin remembered it. All of it. From the moment he first saw his best friend falter in the practice pool to the last time he averted his gaze as he pulled his shirt over that black shoulder brace. For so many years he was oblivious to that pain and all the same he couldn’t even be bothered to face what was good. Was Sousuke still swimming? Was he passing his records, winning all his tournaments, pulling himself ever closer to that dream of standing on the global stage? In the back of his mind he thought about it... but at some point or another he would look away just as he did with everything else. Never wanting to face it, speak of it, think about it if he could help it. Because all it ever brought him was guilt. If only he’d stepped back into Sousuke’s life sooner or reached out to him the moment his suspicions rose... maybe his body would still be safe. Like this, in a way. Powerful, strong, unbreakable. But he couldn’t run forever. He couldn’t stay selfish forever. Not when Sousuke needed him most.

“I’ll always protect you,” he vowed, as if reading those thoughts loud and clear. From dark forces, from shinki thieves... and yes, even from himself. They might’ve possessed powers beyond human comprehension while they were here, but they weren’t indestructible by any means. Sousuke’s body was just as human as Rin’s, capable of breaking, bruising and bleeding all the same. He couldn’t turn away and let him destroy himself from the inside out.

Wrapped up as he was, Rin let his eyes fall shut and sighed into Sousuke’s skin with that kiss. The warmth and beat of his heart settled his own until finally it returned to that same relaxed rhythm as before. He remembered being underwater together as children, beneath the surface where he daydreamed of sprouting gills and chasing his best friend for hours. Like that moment, Rin didn’t want to leave this one now. Not for a while, maybe not ever, if he already had everything he wanted within reach. Safety, attention, affection... and that one promise.

Smiling, Rin held on tighter as he curled his legs under the covers. “... thank you.”

[takenwithhim]

There were those memories too. The quiet ones that lingered as he thought about his best friend swimming in the water before him. So strong and free, completely heedless to the secret Sousuke held back as he waited for his turn in the lane. He went through so much to prepare and hide the truth from Rin, knowing his best friend would break his heart when he learned of it. Rin didn’t need to be burdened by the issues of someone who had made some very bad choices. He had a future to hold onto and the last thing Sousuke wanted was to become something that held Rin back. Be it by his guilt or his kindness or his determination to care for him. So he had to wait and forced himself to grit his teeth, smile, and move forward. After all, that’s what they’d both done during those years of separation. Averting their gaze towards what really mattered. Silence happened and he didn’t chase after Rin to reignite it. Rin made his decision and Sousuke trusted it was what was best for his best friend. “I understand.” With no questions asked.

Maybe that hadn’t been the best choice…

Hindsight was always 20/20. Sousuke looked up at Rin, momentarily surprised that he picked out his thoughts so easily. He shouldn’t be surprised, obviously, but the intimacy was there none the less. A vow to protect him, the one who considered himself “perfect” that no one could beat, the strongest… needed protection. There was logic behind it especially in this place. But it was the silent reminder that Rin wouldn’t allow “Sousuke” to damage Sousuke again that got him in the quick. Would he do what he did at home here? … Probably. He did attempt to sneak out and train by himself at times, but Rin almost always caught him, confusing Sousuke as to how his god knew his intentions. But now he understood why Rin always kept such a careful watch over his workouts and training.

Sousuke let himself relax as he held Rin close, eyes shut and his mind a little quieter from the running around it’d been doing. The warmth against his chest and the beat of Rin’s heart seemed to push away the fervor above. Something he was grateful for. Especially when he felt Rin’s pace calm to normal levels. Good… he wanted him to relax. This was… a moment he was content to linger in. Arms around his best friend, legs entangled, safe and warm and cared for. A promise to protect him and care for him in exchange for a promise to never allow that silent destruction to happen again.

It was a good exchange. He felt the smile against his skin, a warm and tender sensation. “Aa… You too.”