thenearshore | You were in the darkness too

Entry tags:

You were in the darkness too

Who: Archer and Caster
When: December 27th
Where: Dún Dealgan, Caster's temple
What: Archer suddenly remembers a few hours from his past and a certain Servant;
Warnings: violence Servant style in memories, PTSD, will update if needed

Archer wakes up with the start, flashes of his dream still playing with surprising clarity. It's his past, he knows it, one of the forgotten pieces that shinki can sometimes remember.

Caster is here too, his breath steady, warm weight anchoring Archer to reality. He can still feel the phantom pain and the blood trickling down from the non-existing wound. It's been real, much too real to shake off immediately.

Lancer. Saber. Golden Servant and the priest - the details are a bit murky, muddled with remembered feel of his body giving up and his stubborn resolve to not die. How many times had he pushed himself further ignoring his own weakness? This much haven't really changed.

Lancer. Caster. Cú Chulainn. Archer presses the heel of his hand to his closed eyes and swallows. A Servant that, in the end, stayed true to his beliefs. The irony of him forced once again to break one oath to keep the other; how many times has Cú Chulainn suffered the same fate again and again?

He forces himself to calm down and steady his breath, to push aside all the jumbled feelings awaken by the dream - no, his memory - to avoid waking Caster up.

Too late.

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[Archer just shakes his head, his expression softening the tiniest bit.]

I don't think it's something she'd demand. I just want to know how seriously you treat her.

[Is it as serious as Emer was. Yet it's not something that Archer wants to put into words. However Caster's reaction is a confirmation enough.]

It's not a fling if that's what you're asking.

[ "How seriously?" is a good question since Archer was first-hand there to see how things with Mai turned out. They miscommunicated heavily on what they wanted, what they expected- even how they saw things.

Well, it was surely a lesson how different people from different times see things. ]

Well, can't help it, I hold her dear to my heart. [ Is that speaking of love without the L word? Maybe. But there is the big thing being - she has her own world to return to. And that's where she will go eventually. So if they're worlds are so connected it allowed her to be pulled here, maybe the cosmological scale works on the same rules. Throne of Heroes is outside space and time, so why not outside the multiverse itself- he already suggested she could maybe summon him... but indeed depending on the restrictions, ritual, and a ton of magical mumbo-jumbo he might not even recognize her. No matter how much he believes he would like her anyway, that's still, plenty not-fun on her side.

Especially now

But he went into staring blankly into the distance, aka thinking instead of giving Archer the answer ] This place can be really bleak and lonely for those stranded here. If I could offer her a bit of happiness and solace while she's here, it's enough for me.

[That's an answer in itself, Caster's silence and his troubled gaze, so unlike his cheer or even the seriousness he displays from time to time. It's enough to hint how deep his feelings to the fair-haired princess run.

There has been another princess a long time ago, in a land far away, that took hold of his heart as surely. Archer is well aware of the irony, and swears to watch over both of them now. Time to change the mood. Archer closes one eye.]

Are you going on a quest to make your princess smile?

[ It's a long and sad tale, but at the same, not one he would make a connection with. Those princesses are different he would argue, and thus he wouldn't notice the parts that are similar about them. Because at the end that doesn't matter, they are separate people. Both dear to him ]

A noble quest it is! [ Caster is quick to follow into a lighter mood and agrees with the question quickly- then he stands up and walks closer to Archer to poke- no pull at his cheek ] Don't worry, quest for your smile isn't forgotten.

[ Looking after them is nice and welcome and cute and all that- but don't fall into the old route of putting yourself aside for others, dude ]

[Archer makes a face when Caster pulls his cheek, but is quick to hide the warmth that fills him at the admission undear a deadpan quip.]

I'm not a princess.

Yeah, you're not exactly a princess material- [ Since when smiles are for princesses only? They’re also for overworked grumps so it seems. At least his slogan isn’t “Smiles for everyone!” No, it’s just for people he cares about, and somehow these days, this annoying bowman wormed his way into that category.

Huh, he sure ended with people who hide their suffering behind sacrificing themselves for duty. ]

But you're part of a different on-going quest, aren't you? Don’t think I’m going to take it easy on ya now. [ Archer is always quick to declare to anyone that he thinks got interested in Caster that their relationship is open. Sure go, grab that, I will move myself over the side. ] It’s like you're half-expecting to get dumped.

[ Oops, did he just mumbled that aloud? ]

[Look, he may have chest as big as any princess ~~or even bigger~~ but he's too tall and wrong gender. Not to mention heads would fall if anyone tried to call him that. Extremely spicy mapo tofu is a good threat.]

[Archer's expression freezes, eyes averting after a moment as he huffs.] Perhaps I do. [he admits quietly.]

[ Nothing lasts forever, everything is temporary. Archer knows that, but it's the self-defeatist nature that makes them sharing this view so annoying ]

Tch- [ Know what, he will just pull at that cheek again. Maybe with a bit more force. ] That's not how it works. Look...

[ Okay enough cheek pulling, instead he sits down to get on a level with Archer ] Tell me why do you think I would do that.

[ Check-mate! ]

[Archer has not had a chance to analize his feelings in depth yet, but he notices that his outlook is rather grim.]

I'm not that much of a catch. [he shrugs.] Good for a short fling, but anything longer isn't really going to last.

[Unless you want him for his cooking, since it's his main selling point.]

[ Is there anyone out there without deeply-rooted self-confidence issues? Is this his type here? ]

Hey, if you want a short-term fling, I can live with that. But that's on you. [ So don't be scared of being dumped, because in that scenario you're the one doing the dumping. Whiiiiiiich again suggests it's something Archer would not want to happen. ] We can never know how much time we got left, so why not to use what we have to the fullest. Hmm, Mr. Ugly?

[ He leans on the side and puts his head on Archer's shoulder. Talk about unexpected turns in conversation. On the other hand it is probably the best moment to talk about it, since he came today with princess' revelations. ]

[Sudden gesture startles Archer, but he's quick to lean into it. It's scary how easily Caster accepts all of him, how easy it's to accept the current relationship as more than temporary. Still, somewhere deep inside Archer knows that the good times won't last.]

Hn. If you say that you don't mind seeing my ugly mug right after waking up then how can I deprive you of it.

[Knowing that Caster appreciates him fills him with warmth, and a lot of disgustingly fluffy feelings. Well, he can live with that.]

Riiiight-- Everyone knows I'm the better looking one out of the two of us. [ Modesty, what is modesty. But hey he's joking and hopefully, it's clear enough. On the other hand, it is quite suspicious how he got Archer to drop his "woe is me" so quickly ]

You know how it is, someone gets the looks someone gets the brain. [ And the compliment isn't even backhanded, just a bit stealthy ]

[It's obvious from their link that Archer feels quite content, and amused by the turn of their conversation. Perhaps he has a feeling that no matter where they'd find each other, as absurd as such feeling is.]

And someone gets both looks and brains. [he quips, directing the compliment back at Caster. It's such moments that make him feel truly alive and, well, happy.]

[ That's also what earns him a poke right under the ribs. He can lean on ya, and poke you in a painful way at the same time. Versatile! ]

Where do you expect this flattery to lead you? [ The conversation went onto a lighter and softer turn, but Caster Will Remember That. Just in case he has to kick Archer into behaving again, or something. ]

If I was a poet I'd most likely spew some nonsense like "into your strong arms". Unfortunately I'm a realist, so I'm going to answer differently - I appreciate both, and will sometimes voice it. In least appropriate moments.

[It's a miracle Archer manages to say it all with a straight face.]

[ Caster meanwhile loses it, his shoulders shaking from barely contained laugh ]

You've surely got a talent of a minstrel- keep honing it. [ You'll get somewhere one day. Perhaps the world isn't yet ready for that place ]

Why, thank you. [Archer rests one hand over his heart and bows his head politely.]

However, I think I'll leave such work for someone more fitting. Perhaps our Apollo will rise to the challenge.

[Archer plz]

She would never do that. [ Apollo has a very specific taste, and neither of them fits those specifications- thank god most likely?? ] You're my only hope.

[ He gives Archer arm a one (1x) small punch and stretches his arms upwards as he begins to walk away. ]

Anyway- thanks for the chat. I'm going to walk the dogs today. [ So you can stay home and read, instead of going by the SCHEDULE of chores. ] Somewhere else than in the forest.

[Again all is fine in their small world. Archer feels much better now, safe with the knowledge that he won't get dumped.]

Hmph. Have fun. [he has a feeling that he knows where Caster is going to take the dogs.]

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You were in the darkness too

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