[open]

[roeh]

Who: Commander Shepard and Tsuzuki Asato and maybe Yamato no kami Yasusada AND YOU
What: Shep returns from her update and a whole pile of shit that went with it
When: All day April 26th
Where: The far shore; Mórrígan's Temple
Warnings: Shep is heavily injured but nothing beyond that I think


a;
The first thing she sees is blue. Blue like the ocean with its placid surface as can only be observed from these stellar heights. Blue like the earth, a glass marble teeming with life against the static black backdrop of space.

This is not that blue.

This blue is weightless, pure, unafflicted by the scars the reapers had burned into its face. That's when the commander realizes she's not looking down but up at the circling sky. Where the sun and birds float hazy overhead.

She turns, tries to push herself up only to collapse again with a cry of pain. "FuckshitDamnit!"

This isn't a dream where the open wounds and fractured bones would be unable to follow. Neither is this the world she'd left behind in her desperate efforts to save it.

The red that paints the asphalt beneath her isn't colored by the fires of war. It's only blood. Her blood and she collapses back on it with a gasp and a groan and an ever flickering consciousness.


b;
[Fortunately Shepard doesn't remain there long to win the triple crown of death in her lifelong struggle. She's found, and taken to her temple, where her divinity and a little bit of time will see her recovered. But it's been a few hours at best but all she has to do now is admire her scars and bandages and ponder what comes next.

She can't remember if there was ever a time she would have been more grateful for the company of her crew.

Since her departure, the grounds of her temple have been more like a mausoleum but the return of their goddess has brought color back to the leaves and springy life back to the branches. Everything is experiencing a spring like rebirth. Perhaps that's what draws your attention to her abode. Or maybe it's the lights that are finally aglow within the recently forsaken space.]

Comments

a.

[sweetdeath]

There's something about a pained yell that carries further than anything else. Tsuzuki'd just been out for a walk, thinking he'd pass by the burned-out cherry grove and check for any clues he'd missed in the dark and the chaos, but at that cry, his head whips around and he breaks into a run.

"Hey!" he calls. "Where are you--"

But it's not necessary. The slumped body and stained asphalt catch his eye before the sentence is even finished. It's not until he's going to his knees at her side that he realizes he knows this person. Knows her, and had thought she was gone. He fumbles for his pocketknife.

"Shepard? Shepard, are you awake? Hey, stay with me. I can help."

[roeh]

She hears her name repeated like a broken record. Like so many times before. Like the blitz. Like Alchera. The citadel. But she doesn't hear Tsuzuki. She hears the voices of hundreds, maybe even thousands and for a moment it gives her hope even as she clings to her head like it could drown out the discord.

"Ash?" She murmurs because the color of his hair is close but the eyes are all wrong as she blearily gazes back. And then he comes into focus.

Who is he? Why does he know her name. Of course everyone on Earth knows her name but that doesn't explain the deja vu that hits her like an upper cut from Wrex. Her stomach flips but she doesn't have the energy, maybe not even ability to turn sick.

That's when it hits her. Him. The pacifist. What was his name?

"Come to take me to the other side?" The amused huff that follows is as close as she's gonna get to a laugh.

[sweetdeath]

"No way. I'm done with that job," Tsuzuki says, flicks open his pocketknife, and slashes a quick shallow cut over his own palm. He winces at the sting of the blade. "Besides, you're not dying."

Not if he has anything he can do about it, and, now, he does. He presses his hand to her chest, smearing fresh blood over the slashed and burned fabric and the flesh below. This is bad. It's really bad, and he's never used his healing powers on injuries this serious before, but he thinks that smear should be enough to start the wounds knitting.

Maybe. He hopes. His own cells' healing ability is already pulling the wound back together and stopping the bleeding by the time he finishes the first pass, and he lifts his hand up, holding it palm-up as he watches her worriedly for a reaction.

"Where does it hurt worst?" She's probably in shock. He doesn't know if his healing does anything for that, either. She had better not die.

[roeh]

Dying? But she's already...

She can't finish the thought as she coughs, spitting up more blood and it feels like everything inside is trying to force it's way out. Maybe he's right. Death was supposed to cast off the mortal coil.

Been there done that and there's no denying that this is the worst she's ever felt.

Raising a hand she responds with a simple gesture indicating all of her. She's a mess from head to the soles of her charred boots. But the worst of it was likely within.

"That's good. Didn't suit you anyway." She keeps talking despite the difficulties because it keeps him in focus and she doesn't want him to leave like the others.

[sweetdeath]

"Worst job ever," Tsuzuki agrees easily, and turns his hand up, pressing the knife blade against his palm and pulling hard this time. This cut's not shallow, and his fingers sting and go numb: too deep, shit. It'll heal. She's coughing up her own blood, and she can't heal like a shinigami can, and that's what's important right now.

He presses his cut hand palm-down over her chest. Where the blood flows, skin knits and slashed flesh pulls back together. If he leaves it there long enough, will those internal injuries start to heal, too?

He hopes. He really hopes.

"You're a mess," he says. "What happened?"

[roeh]

Whether they heal or not, Shepard doesn't really know. All she can feel is the pain and she chokes on it. Just a scratch, she can hear from her crew. Come on commander you're making us look bad.

She wants to laugh. She feels like crying but all she knows is the pain as her body tries to make sense of the many pieces it's broken into. Her skin glows hot as her implants are pushed to the limits and not even four billion credits are enough to deal with this. Shit. If they go there'll be no helping her.

So she lets them work, the tech and this god of death -- ironic isn't it -- and she deals with it how she knows best.

"We won the war." She shoots her mouth off some more. "M'sure you understand."

[sweetdeath]

War. Yeah, he thinks, that explains the injuries. His expression clouds, but he leaves his hands where they are until the sharp pain of the cut has dulled to the deep itch of healing. His fingers respond easily as he lifts his hand away from her chest, and, matter-of-factly, he wraps them around the handle of his pocketknife to slash his other palm. It's kind of a pain having to heal with his own blood when he can't keep bleeding for long enough to handle all of her wounds.

These are bad, though. Minor injuries would have long since vanished, but these deep ones... her skin blazes fever-hot against his hand as he moves it further up, skin knitting in its wake, although he can't tell his blood from hers in the mess.

"You're hot," he says, wide-eyed with worry. He wishes he actually knew anything about first aid. Maybe he should learn, if this is going to be his power.

b

[spes_phthisica]

[Even though he's never met Shepard before in his life, he's still relieved. For Yamato's sake, he'd believed just as firmly that she'd come back, but even so it takes away a nagging worry he hadn't fully realized was there until it wasn't.

Now he's there, wandering through the newly awakened temple garden, feeling just a little bit nervous. After all, this is the God of his new but already very dear friend, right? So he wants to make a good first impression, and if possible get along with her.

He clears his throat quietly as he approaches, stopping at a respectful distance and offering her a deep bow.]

Commander-sama? [Look, it's the logical thing for him to call her, considering how Yams talks about her.]

[roeh]

[Shepard isn't asleep, not really, when Okita arrives but she's close enough to it that she stares at the doorway with a strange look on her face like she's not quite sure what she's seeing there. Like a vision through a kaleidoscope, witnessed through the mirrors and fog that her injuries have wracked on her and shifting all the time.]

Didn't I tell you to talk a rest? [He's already come by. How many times now? The second time just to ensure the first wasn't a dream. She may not be at her best but she's still herself and she'd admonished him, telling him no shinki of hers should wear himself out like this when she needed him now more than ever. Of course it was really all of his sake.

So when she speaks it doesn't lack for affection but it's also touched with confusion. Something still isn't quite right.]

[spes_phthisica]

[She looks like she's in quite a state still, and overcome by concern her words at first take him by surprise, make no sense at all. Then, of course, the penny drops. It's not like he hasn't noticed himself how alike he and Yamato are, and not just because their minds work the same way. He lets out a soft laugh, not unkind, and shakes his head.]

I'm not Yamato-kun, though I can't blame you for making that mistake at a time like this. [She looks positively exhausted.] I'm a friend of his. I wanted to meet you, although I promise I won't take up too much of your time.

[roeh]

[Not Yamato? But he looks...

That's when it comes into focus, not the man in front of her but the memories rushing out from under her like a great avalanche. She still isn't completely settled in this world, and it's like her home, the life she was born into must crumble away before she can retake her place here.

She's a god. She has a shinki named Yamato no Kami Yasusada. They're partners. And he died. Or broke. That part still doesn't make sense. But before that...

Shepard tenses, though with the extent of her injuries it comes off more like a wince but for once she sees perfectly clearly. Even more than was ever possible in the mind's eye.]

Okita Souji.

[It doesn't once cross her mind that in sharing a face they might also share a fate.]

[spes_phthisica]

[He's honestly surprised that Yamato has mentioned him - meeting his God again must've been very emotional, and Souji had expected him to have more important things to say to her than talking about a new friend, however alike they were. Maybe it had been a throwaway comment while trying to tell her everything that had happened in her absence? He answers with another bow, followed by a smile and a nod.]

That's right. I only arrived here recently, but... I'm very glad to meet you at last. Your Shinki speaks well of you.

[Or more accurately, he doesn't have to say all that much, because he and Souji understand each other incredibly well when it comes to this.]

[roeh]

[Given what Shepard knows about him, about them, it's almost as much of as surprise to her that Yamato didn't say anything. Was that a good thing? Did he not recognize his former master? Of course not; that's how it works. And it's not like she has any intention of playing the ball and chain to her shinki. She trusted her own more than that only...

She's lost more than is even capable for most people and there's no denying that she intends to clings to what little is left.]

Yeah. That's really nothing new considering we've been together since the beginning. [If it's even possible for a plain statement of fact to sound accusatory, the commander pulls it off.

It is somewhat heartening to hear the cult of Shepard persisted even in her absence though. She expected him to be devastated, but of course that's hard to gauge on their reunion with emotions running high.]

[spes_phthisica]

[He's certainly perceptive enough to pick up that edge in her voice, but he's not sure he understands it. Perhaps it's just that she's tired, and maybe it was presumptuous of him to visit her so soon, but he's not sure that's it.]

I assumed as much. I honestly can't imagine Yamato-kun being passed from one God to another unless necessity required it - and never serving more than one God. He is not that sort of person.

[An emphatic head-shake, his voice equal parts earnest and affectionate, certain and warm.]

[okitactless]

[There are a thousand thoughts and emotions that flood through him, the moment Tsuzuki tells him what's happened.

She's back. He wasn't there to see her first. She's hurt, but she's alive, but she's hurt, but she's back, and finally, finally-- and not once does disbelief enter his mind.

He'd known, after all. No one had been able to convince him that Shepard wouldn't come back, and having Souji on his side had made it that much easier to stand strong and wait. But as grateful as Yamato is to him, and to Ayumu, he doesn't stop to call for them. He doesn't stop to think about them at all. Tsuzuki comes for him, and immediately, he's on his way back to her side.

He should be quieter, probably. But he barely gets his sandals off in the doorway, stumbling down the hall and bursting into her room without so much as a knock at the door. His hair is falling out of his ponytail, and his eyes are wide and swimming with emotion, but other than that, he looks very much the same.]

Commander-kun...? [He should call her by her name. He should call her by her goddess name, maybe. Maybe he's been rude this whole time, maybe she won't even want him back, maybe-- but before he can let his insecurities take over, he needs to make sure she's alright. That she's real.]

Ayumu

[She's real.

It's so, so difficult to leave her side, knowing that. The fear that she'll disappear again the minute he looks away is overwhelming, and it hurts to walk away, even if he has a good reason for doing so. He makes it all the way to Ayumu's temple before he turns back, clutching his sword with one hand and pressing the other against his chest. He can't do this. He can't be away from her again, not for this long--

--But then Souji's words come back to him, from back when they'd first met. No. No, he has a duty to Ayumu right now, first and foremost. If Shepard is gone again by the time they get back to her... well. Then he'll have words with Amaterasu's advisers. But for now, he owes it to Ayumu to consult her properly.

She's his goddess right now. He's never called her that, and he barely even allowed himself to think of her as that. But it's the truth, and above even that, she's a friend. She deserves to be involved. So he breathes, steeling himself, and continues on his way to her.]

Ayumu-san, are you here? It's urgent.

[roeh]

[In the time that it took Tsuzuki to find Yamato, and for her shinki to return, Shepard hasn't had nearly enough to process everything that's happened. In a way, her day started the moment she gave the order to turn the Normandy toward Earth and everything that followed was a whirlwind blitz that crashed together like a tidal wave, like the explosions that chorused all around from the moment her feet touched solid ground.

And now it's over but everything is still spinning, slowing like a star approaching the end of it's life but still rapid and chaotic enough to leave her disoriented. Even from her bed, she has to force herself to shut it down, to just stop thinking and breathe.

She is Commander Jane Shepard. That much still belongs to her. And the things she did, those can't be taken away either even if it doesn't mean much here. But as Yamato tumbles through the door looking like a child at Christmas, who didn't quite believe Santa would come... that's right, she thinks. This one is still hers as well.

She smiles. No other name fits better when it's coming from him. Anything else would have demanded a correction. And maybe she shouldn't laugh and maybe she shouldn't tease him but right now all she can manage is what comes most naturally to her.]

Took you long enough. [Hopefully the affection still carries in spite of her weariness.]

[okitactless]

[He should be gentle. He should approach her with respect, check her wounds, maybe gently scold her for leaving him for so long-- but all of that is far beyond Yamato's level of self-control right now.

His eyes are watering at the mere sound of his voice, and he barely even has time to process her words before he's throwing himself, quite literally, across her in some semblance of a hug. Or maybe he's trying to keep her pinned in place, it's hard to tell, really. Either way, the fact that she's well and truly tangible almost has him in tears.]

I knew you'd come back...!

[The sword she gave him is still at his side, hidden beneath the haori but probably easy enough to feel when he's practically sprawled over her. Luckily he doesn't stay there for long, withdrawing just enough to clutch at her hand and ramble.]

What happened? Where did you go? I'm sorry I wasn't here I tried to wait but then they wouldn't let me but I knew you would come back--

[roeh]

[It's not the most pleasant feeling in the world, having the full weight of a near full grown man thrown across you when your body is still sporting the remnants of life ending injuries. She can't suppress the groan completely but she muffles it well enough.

After all, it's a good weight, solid. The kind to finally hold her in place and keep her grounded.

Even as he pulls away the world finally comes to rest in space between them. He has her attention, completely and she still smiles, somewhat obliquely as she gives him time to indulge his happy ramblings.

But she doesn't let him wear himself out before she's pulling him back, this time to greet him with a proper hug and even though her chest hurts, what she needs to say doesn't need to be very loud to carry its weight.]

Hey. I missed you too.

[And she means it. Even if she's only just now coming to terms with it. Maybe Yamato didn't have to live the whole year she spent back home, but he would have. He would have endured with that naive faith and unfaltering loyalty and she needs that now more than ever.]

[okitactless]

["Wear himself out", like he isn't on par with the Energizer bunny when he wants to be...

But he shuts up the second she reaches for him, and he doesn't resist, letting her pull him forward. It's tempting to curl up, to rest his head on her shoulder and stay tucked against her. But that would mean looking away, and he can't do that for long. Not yet. Not until he's memorized every tiny scratch on her face, every fleck of color in her eyes, everything he hadn't stopped to think about before she'd disappeared.]

I'm sorry. [He says again, a little more quietly. He isn't calm, per se, but she's managed to rein him in.] I should've been here.

[Kneeling outside a temple for three days? That's nothing. She's right; if he'd been allowed, he would've waited right here for her for however many days or years it took, entirely convinced she'd come back as suddenly as she'd left. Because that's exactly what she did.]

[roeh]

[If he wants to watch, then she'll let him. She too knows what that's like after all. Her smile is soft, maybe the softest he's ever seen, not quite strong enough to mark her features. Neither can it hide the scars that etch out the story of her full life, white callouses of old and the angry red of new. And hiding within her lively green eyes, a mysterious saddess remains.

But she's happy to see him too. That much is also clear.

Reaching up, she brushes his backs from his eyes though they always fluff right back into place. It just gives her an excuse to do it again.]

You're here now.

[She doesn't apologize and maybe in time he'll realize there's nothing to apologize for. If anything, she's the one that allowed it, this attachment, intending to take advantage of it. She's gotten what she wanted in the end so it's only right that she take responsibility for what remains.]

And I've got nowhere else to be.

gosh, sorry I'm so late, please forgive me ;_;

[kagenonadeshiko]

Oh, I'm in here!

[As it so happens, Ayumu is sweeping a hallway with a broom. Though she still looks tired, there's been a sparkle in her eyes and more color in her cheeks of late. When she hears Yamato approaches, she stops what she's doing and graces him with a soft, welcoming smile.]

What do you need, Yamato-kun?

it's all good!

[okitactless]

[Her smile is encouraging, or it would've been, if Yamato had been paying any attention. As it is, he's just relieved she's here, that he won't have to run around heaven to try and find her.

He's also more nervous than he's ever been in, the few months he's been here.

But subtlety isn't his forte, and time is of the essence. What if Shepard is disappearing right now? What if she'll be gone by the time he gets back? What if this is all just a wonderful, terrible dream?]

She's back. Commander-kun is back.

[kagenonadeshiko]

[Ayumu stops sweeping. After a moment, her smile widens with relief.]

That's wonderful news, Yamato-kun. Where is she? Is she well?

[She sets the broom aside and steps closer to Yamato. After a moment, she rests a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Whatever has happened or whatever he's come to her for, it'll truly be okay.]

[okitactless]

[Truthfully, Yamato's not quite sure what reaction he was expecting. It wasn't this kind of genuine happiness, though he supposes he can't blame her--he won't be surprised if she's eager to get rid of him.]

She's at home. [Her own temple, he means, though Ayumu probably already knows that.] She's hurt badly, but Tsuzuki-kun took care of her. She's resting now.

[kagenonadeshiko]

[If only Ayumu could read her mind or know how sad the thought of him leaving her care makes her. But he's Shepard's shinki, not hers, no matter what the Heavens decided for them. She'd hoped for his true goddess's return, not for her own sake but his. As much as Ayumu wants to keep her family close, she wants Yamato to be happy again even more.]

I'm sorry she's hurt but I'm glad she came back. You must be so happy to see her again.

[There's melancholy in her smile now. But she's been preparing herself for this day, the event of Shepard's return. Ayumu's used to planning ahead so she isn't caught by surprise and this matter hasn't been any different.]

Is she well enough for visitors? I'd like to pay my respects.

[And to see Shepard's condition with her own eyes, if she's well enough to look after him when Yamato asks to be released. In Ayumu's mind, it's not a question of 'if' but 'when'. But if Shepard's not up to the task yet, she'll care for him a while longer. Axel might grumble a little but Yamato's still her responsibility.]