008 | OVERFLOW

[godsoffortune]

This is an overflow post for 008 | Sakura 2.0: You Can (Not) Have A Picnic. Please bring any further comments here and link to your threads at the original source.

Thank you!

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+ Keito

[razzledazzles]

[From here.]

Something like that. [Jae-Ha laughs a little even as he helps Keito wobble all the way down to his sitting position. Good. Now there can be no falling over or losing glasses.] When I taste it, it makes me feel something fond, similar to how you'd feel when having a nice memory. But there are no images at all.

[lecturehall]

Is that... [He pauses, wondering if he should err on the side of caution.

Nah. Fuck it.] Does that sort of thing apply to people, too?

[asking for a friend]

[razzledazzles]

Yes. I noticed right away that there were a couple of people who I felt a connection with. Obviously, my connection is a little stronger than most, but I could feel that underlying feeling all the same. That warmth, like a memory.

[lecturehall]

Do you think you could tell me more?

[Keito hugs his legs to his chest, resting his head upon his knees.]

About what it feels like. If I can, I'd like to know how a shinki feels.

[razzledazzles]

...I could try my best.

[Keito is a pretty melancholy drunk, it seems. But Jae-Ha is willing to open up for the sake of something like this, since Keito asked. He glances to him.] But that's a broad question. Is there something you're wondering about specifically?

[lecturehall]

I'm not sure. I'm not happy with the amount I don't know.

[Give him a minute to think.]

But maybe... I think I'd first like to know if it's always a warmth. When you look at someone, when you reach for that memory, do you feel sorrow when it drifts out of reach? Is it ever painful, being near someone you care for but can't recall why?

[razzledazzles]

[What a loaded question. He can't just ask Keito what he's thinking about to have these questions on his mind... The least he could do is answer, right? It's not like he minds it. Even if he doesn't like talking about himself personally so much, this sort of general feeling is something all shinki deal with. He'd love to help gods understand.]

It seems like the feeling reflects the person. Kija and I have a bond beyond anyone else that I can explain, but beyond that, I can feel the more normal reaction of knowing him and yet not. I feel warmth with him because he's a good person.

But I do feel sadness knowing that he's dead, and knowing that I can't recall any of our memories together, yes. It's hard to know that a bond was so special that you can feel it without memories, but that you still can't recall any of it.

[lecturehall]

I see.

[It's the same for the gods, or at least for him. There are few nights he doesn't dream of a burning platform and crushed bodies. Even now he can feel it, Souma's hand pushing against his chest.]

I'd think... in a situation like that it'd be the little things that hurt the most. Like wanting to thank someone for some past deed when the act itself has been forgotten. It makes you wonder, doesn't it? I've been so focused on the future that the importance of the past never really occurred. But now I can see it. The past... it's the frame on which we stretch the canvas of our lives. If you change its shape, everything else becomes altered as well.

How can you really trust that that bond you feel is yours?

[razzledazzles]

[Poor Keito must have so much on his mind. To express his sympathy and support, Jae-Ha reaches to place a hand on his shoulder. It's brief, not really squeezing so much as just resting there for a second before he drops it away.]

It's not the bond that I feel so much. How to explain it... It's a bit like if you were to say something funny, and I were to remember you, I might laugh and feel very warm, far more warm than with a stranger because we actually did have that bond. But I wouldn't remember any more than that.

Like that, it's far easier to know it's mine. It's all in my emotions, after all. They've never felt foreign. In fact, it's all I have.