thenearshore | 008

[Was there anything she wanted to know right now? She crossed her arms and tilted her head in thought. Maybe there was something.]

Well, I... [A pause.] A-actually, never mind. But if there's something else, I'll tell you about it! [Saying what she was really thinking would just be a downer.]

... You seriously can ask me anything, you know.

[It sounded like she had something in mind, but Tsuzuki isn't sure, and he can't feel anything suspicious through their new bond. Whatever it is, it can't be that bad. Right? Right!]

[Well, since he said anything...]

Am I really dead?

[She didn't feel that different, and as far as she could tell, the only difference was the strange tattoo on her wrist. Really though, thinking about that was just her trying to find an answer that wasn't the one she knew was reality. She rubbed at her wrist, suddenly feeling self-conscious about it.]

[The humor immediately drains from his expression, and, quietly, he nods.

It's something he's had to talk a lot of people through. It's never easy for anyone to deal with: being dead, but also, being still around.]

I'm sorry. As far as I can tell, every shinki's the spirit of someone who's died.

[He keeps his gaze on her face, watching for reactions. This is a little different from talking to a new Shinigami: for one thing, she doesn't remember her own death. For another, he's got to spell out some other things.]

I know it's hard to get used to. I'm dead too.

Oh. [She deflated at his answer. It was an answer she had been expecting, but that didn't make it any easier for it to be confirmed. While she didn't know who or what she had left behind, there were probably people who were sad about her death, right? And she had just left those people behind. While it wasn't her fault, she still felt bad about it.

Hearing that Tsuzuki was also dead didn't help that feeling either.]

Sorry, I shouldn't have asked, huh...?

It's always okay to ask me whatever you need to know, got it, Lilka?

[Tsuzuki smiles at her, a little worriedly. Of course she's upset; anyone would be upset to find that out. Especially when they don't know who they are, or remember their own death.]

And I've been dead for a long time. I started work as a god of death after that, um, almost a hundred years ago now. [He looks briefly stricken.] Has it really been that long?

'Kay... Thanks, I'll remember to ask. [She covered her eyes with her sleeve as she felt her eyes begin to water. It was a lot for a 14 year old to handle, especially all at once. She took a deep, slightly shaky breath, and only spoke up again when she was sure her voice wouldn't crack.]

That is a really long time, but you don't look old at all. [LILKA...]

[Tsuzuki let his hand fall reassuringly on her shoulder, rubbing it. Poor kid. That was a lot for somebody her age to handle, and even if she was going to have to come to terms with it eventually, it was still okay to cry.]

Well, see, after you're dead you don't get any older.

[Which means she's stuck. Maybe shinki are different from shinigami that way, but he's not betting on it....]

Huh? [Well, if nothing else, hearing that gave her a less embarrassing line of thought. After nearly sobbing in front of someone she only just met, she was welcoming that change with open arms, even if her inner feelings were still being stubborn about it.]

What? But then I'd never find out what I'd look like when I'm older! [Not fair!]

...Nope.

[He rubs a hand over the back of his neck, and gives her a wry little half-smile. At least it's distracted her! But it's another pretty sad subject when it comes to new shinki who're still kids.]

Sorry! Do you know how old you are, by the way?

[He'd guess maybe fifteen from her face, but it's hard to tell. Young, anyway.]

I know! I'm--! [Wait. She was so sure a second ago, but it was as if the memory just faded away when she reached for it.]

I guess I can't remember that either... It feels really weird to forget something like that.

It's okay! Sorry for asking.

[His smile is a little concerned for her. It's hard, to forget everything. It really is. And he doesn't have a good idea of how to help people work through it yet; even with his shinki, so far, they've all reacted to it in completely different ways.]

... Anyway, you look fourteen or fifteen! Just the right age to start in high school.

Don't worry about it! I bet I'll remember any day now. [Though it was easy to be carefree about it, since she didn't know how dangerous certain questions could be for shinki. That aside, she had to wonder about school now that it had been brought up. Something about the prospect of going to high school didn't feel quite right, but thankfully she wasn't thinking about why that was.]

Do they teach magic in high school?

Not most high schools, that's for sure.

[He blinks at her. In that memory, with the monster... had she been using some kind of flashy magic? He thinks she might've been.]

Do you know magic?

Yeah, but I'm still learning. Probably. [There was a sheepish smile coupled with those words.]

Do I still have them...? [She fished around in her pockets before finally pulling out some rectangular slips of paper with symbols engraved on them. Didn't she have more than this, though?

Oh well, she must have just misplaced them somewhere.] These are my crests!

[Tsuzuki leans in, interestedly examining the slip of paper. It looks a little like an ofuda and a little like a playing card. That's pretty cool, actually: unfamiliar, but fascinating.] You know, that looks bit like the kind of magic I use!

[He fishes an ofuda out of his coat pocket, holding it out to her in an example.] I don't know if I can teach you anything about those, but if you'd like to learn ofuda spells, those I can help with.

Wow, it really does look similar! [She stared at the ofuda for a moment. Learning new magic sounded like a great opportunity. The only problem that she was getting a weird feeling deep in her gut, and that feeling was saying "I can't do that." It was strange, and she couldn't think of a reason why she would feel that way.]

It's alright if I think about it for a little while first, right?

Oh, yeah, sure!

[Tsuzuki offers her the slip of paper.] You can keep this if you're curious. I've been making plenty.

008 | OVERFLOW

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