thenearshore | 008

... Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.

[Tsuzuki's face falls. That, he should really do something about.]

[Davesprite isn't here to judge how much anyone is or isn't helping, but he knows Hajime probably isn't going to push herself, and if this guy's looking so down about it, maybe he'll regret it if he doesn't get in there.

As if to pre-empt any idea that he's forcing anyone's hand, Davesprite raises his own, expression still on the serious side.]

Look, I don't know you or your relationship to her, so I'm not taking up bridge troll duties for who should be helping or whatever the hell anyone thinks this sounds like. But she's kinda down, and you look kinda down at the idea of not helping, so if you want to swing by sometime and check in I'm sure she'll appreciate the whole gesture.

-- Yeah, you're right, I really need to. Hey-- thanks. You know, for letting me know she could use the visitor.

[He gives Davesprite a brighter smile. Yeah: he should go see Hajime. She might be stubborn about staying happy, but that doesn't mean she never needs any help cheering up.]

[Despite the tone, Davesprite has to quirk a brow and his mouth at the idea that he really needed to impart that information.]

It's Hajime. The news media isn't wailing headlines about nicest god this side of the eldritch pantheons rejecting a visitor, so I'm assuming the idea of her doing it sounds as unlikely to anyone else as it does to me.

Yeah, I know, I know...! Still.

[Sounds like her shinki appreciate her, too. That's good.]

Not to make any crippling impositions or anything either, but if you're supposed to be the god of sweets then capturing her attention with some badass confection god produce sounds like a plan.

[True, being in a certain domain doesn't actually imply you're that great with it, but he can make assumptions.]

I'm the god of sweets, but making candy's a lot harder than it looks!

[He laughs, embarrassed.] I know where to buy the good stuff, though, anyway.

Hey, if buying the hard underground candy is easier for you than making it, then I'm not gonna judge. Just try not to bring down the temple with the hard partying after.

[It was pretty much impossible for him not to make a drug metaphor out of that, though the quirk of his eyebrows might give the double meaning away.]

Uh... okay?

[It's one of those things he'd probably get if he paid more attention to modern culture!

Sadly, he's several decades behind on that. Who knows what the kids these days are up to?]

[Given all the talk about computers earlier, Davesprite has to give Tsuzuki a somewhat disbelieving aside glance at the idea he doesn't get the joke here.]

Dude, I'm not even making a four-twenty joke here, surely you aren't from so far past that hard candy isn't a valid drug reference to make.

[He'll lay it out if he has to.]

Oh! Oh, okay, I get it.

[He laughs self-consciously.]

Hey, I'm a hundred and sixteen, cut me some slack....

[Davesprite has to draw his head back a bit at that, and shifts his shades down far enough that he can look like he's looking over them without actually showing his eyes any.]

Damn, you must be that guy doctors hate that all those shitty pop-up ads talk about. Life's hard being the bullshit-pitching industry's scapegoat.

[He wouldn't have assumed this guy was in the centennial range if he wasn't told.]

[Tsuzuki grins, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck.] Yeah, I've just got really good genes!

Plus, it helps that gods of death don't get any older. I'd bet shinki are the same way. You'll look good when you're my age, too.

[Okay, either Davesprite's lost his mind somewhere in the space of this conversation, or he's missing something here, and he tips his head slightly.]

Are you telling me that they signed you up for god of sweets and god of death duty - which, by the way, is the shittiest combo this side of baking soda and vinegar - or is the death thing some kind of holdover from your world and they just kind of pretended you were another thing entirely.

It's option number two. I was a god of death -- which isn't really like the gods here, we're human souls that get hired on to do the job, so it's kind of a lot like being a shinki.

Anyway, I was with the Summons Division for a long time before I got dragged in here. It's a pretty nice promotion, if you ask me.

[Who wouldn't prefer sweets to death?]

[That's kind of an interesting contrast to what's happening here, admittedly, and Davesprite nods like it's totally not a weird thing at all to have people who were already gods but once humans here.]

Damn, so you're like god squared then. Having experience has got to at least give you a leg up on some of the people here, when it looks like there's about as much rhyme or reason to the selection process as your average internet comment section.

[Possibly less. It's hard to tell when he hasn't actually met that many gods.]

Yeah, I think I know a little bit more about the way things go in the Heavens than some of us. I never interacted with the higher-ups much, though! At least not outside the afterlife bureaus.

[He shrugs in response, brightening back up.] Anyway, when it comes to being a real god, I'm just as new as any of us!

Well with this place basically being a mash up of shitty bureaucracy and disaffected post-it-note-leaving parents, having the heads up on how things go here is probably more help than it sounds like just talking about it now.

[He certainly doesn't hate the heavens, but he is finding a few things here a little questionable. It's kind of like a worm in an otherwise good apple.]

Being a newbie isn't usually cause to celebrate, but hey, it's your experience.

You think? Being a god of death wasn't... all that fun. I'm okay with being new at the rest of this.

[He hesitates a little over the admission; he may be a game sprite, but Davesprite still looks like a kid, and Tsuzuki doesn't want to get into any of the nasty details. Maybe he'll just get it.]

And there's so much less paperwork here, too!

Yeah, can't imagine cleaning up souls is any more glamorous than cleaning up corpse juice as a normal human of death.

[Because clearly the actual terminology of someone whose job it is to deal with bodies is too pedestrian. Also Davesprite's apparently not taking the hint about nasty details.]

Less paperwork is a damn tempting prospect for anyone though, I can respect that angle.

I guess there are people who actually like paperwork, but I think they're weird.

[Tsuzuki's laugh is fake, but realistic. He's just going to drop that bit about the unpleasantness of dealing with death and hope it stays dropped.]

Me... I could get used to granting prayers. Have you had a chance to go out on any yet?

[Davesprite can take a hint, at least, and though he notes the hasty and ungraceful drop of the topic, he doesn't comment on it. He probably shouldn't have even brought it up in the first place.]

Yeah, I'm inclined to agree that anyone who actually likes paperwork is probably like two degrees from completely losing their shit.

[With a shake of the head, he goes on.] Nah, Hajime's been dealing with all that missing shinki fuckery since a couple of days after I got here, so there's gonna be a wait on that.

Yeah. Makes sense.

[Geez, poor Hajime. Tsuzuki's glad she's got somebody like Dave here now to watch over her. She's lost a lot of people, and some of them -- like Susano'o -- in terrible ways.]

As much sense as any of the other shit that goes down here. [Because in Davesprite's book, it's kind of unfair that someone like Hajime is even having to deal with that level of fuckery.

In any case, he draws back a bit, pointing a talon towards his shades before pointing back at Tsuzuki.]

I'm gonna let you get on with your big karaoke plans, but. Visiting Hajime. I'm gonna be on the lookout like ayakashi on a creepy as fuck back alley.

[He doesn't sound entirely serious, but hey.]

You've got it.

[Tsuzuki grins, embarrassed, and waves one hand towards his forehead in a vague salute-ish gesture.] I will, promise!

008 | OVERFLOW

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