[Closed] There's a feeling we're reaching for

[takenwithhim]

Who: Rin Matsuoka sharkmaid and Sousuke Yamazaki takenwithhim
What: After a roller-coaster-of-emotions partnering and a long separation, god and shinki wake to the first day together
Where: Rin’s Castle (Temple of Eros)
When: Morning of April 27th, the day after this
Warnings: Feels, feels, aaaaand… more feels


“Sleep” was probably too light a word to describe what happened that night. Lying down beside the bed and covering himself up with blankets had been easy enough. And yet Sousuke’s mind had been so full of the past two days. Information ran in and out through the mist of the unknown and the new memories that spread themselves out for review. People talking, saying words and explaining things that so many of them didn’t know much at all about. Words of comfort, words of thought, words of excitement, words of threat, words of annoyance, words of concern. And then everything from yesterday, his god, his pact, his new form, his new role, his new lodging, new emotions and thoughts that made no sense and both irritated him and consumed him all at once. A castle, an argument, a lie, frustration, acceptance, guilt, confusion, a promise. So much of it that the shinki couldn’t understand or even fully grasp.

Those sorts of things didn’t just slip away easily. As his body sank heavy into the bedding spread over the lush rug, Sousuke’d wanted nothing more than to close his eyes and fall into a dreamless, silent sleep. But they stayed, swimming about his head and leaving him to mull over the developments. More than once he’d rolled onto his back and cast his eyes towards the bed beside him, as if he might be able to see the person lying atop it. Rin… Muscles twitched and he’d almost sat up on multiple occasions, wanting to see for himself that strange boy was for real. That this all hadn’t been some crazy dream (that he’d already thought the first day had been). If he could just see him, then he would know… but as it was, the shinki also didn’t want to see his god. Didn’t want to admit that he’d “accepted” this life as a shinki. Whatever that entailed.

But even his mind wasn’t strong enough after a while. Just when Sousuke thought he’d never get to sleep… he’d more or less passed out. No recollection of how long he’d been awake or even when he blacked out, but finally, peaceful, blank unconsciousness.

Hours wheeled by and the moon completed its leisurely dive into the bed of the horizon. Waking the sun and setting the blazing orb into an ascending arch through the skies. Deep purple begot a glowing red that turned the sakura outside into glistening rubies crystalized with a dusting of dew. Red faded into a rousing orange and rose, the rouge dawn light coaxing the pink petals into dripping off their morning pears of moisture. Until the full disc of massy gold emerged and flooded the world with its strong yellow rays. The god’s castle flashed in the morning sun, its light walls gleaming pristine white and its glass windows capturing the brilliance like so many mirrors within their gilded, stone frames. Morning spilled into the castle, washing down the halls and illuminating the god’s bedroom. Bedposts lit up, curtains and draperies shone their colors, and the silken blanket that lay covering the sleeping deity of ardor warmed beneath the light.

And beside the bed, resting on his side like a curled up guard dog, Sousuke remained sleeping silently, rolled onto his side with the blankets below his chest, one arm bent at the elbow with his fingers lightly combing against the tops of his hair. For all the stress and frustration of yesterday, his face and body showed little signs of it, merely a quiet, silent expression, lips parted slightly with his gentle breathing. Whether he knew it or not, here he felt comfortable. Resting beside the person who had given him a purpose, a place, in his life.

Comments

[sharkmaid]

Rin didn't have much time to think before he eventually fell asleep, because as soon as his head hit the pillow he drifted off quickly and effortlessly, unaware of his surroundings and the emotions associated with them, choosing to abandon everything so he could lose himself to blissful, ignorant rest. Maybe, or so he hoped, he would wake up and everything would be as it was before. The higher ups would realize they made a mistake and send him back, take his friends all with him, and they could all return to life as it was. Like normal teenagers with everyday responsibilities and concerns, dreaming of the future, the past, and everything in between. Did that make him a bad god...? To want something so human, so normal and even a little bit selfish?

Yes, his thoughts were so rampant yesterday, but come morning the room was finally still and silent, drenched in gold but far from flashy. Rin himself paid as much attention to it when he woke as he did the night before, though he did have the decency to pick up after himself, straighten out the sheets... and tuck that blanket back over the edge where a certain someone slept soundly on the ground. He didn't think that when he came back the same sight would be there to greet him though and as he crossed the room he half expected it to be a strange vision, a trick of the eye, some other part of this world he didn't understand just yet. But the blankets were moving slowly with every breath and by the time he stopped to crouch beside the makeshift bed, Rin didn't have to think twice.

When did he come here, he wondered? Didn't he get lost? Wasn't he tired? ... Didn't he think about how Rin would almost step on him when he woke up?

... What was he supposed to do now? It was the first thing he asked himself as he watched the other boy fast asleep, mere inches away from his foot and a nasty wake up call. Awake with the sun as he always was, but without clear direction or purpose. He could have gone for a run perhaps. That was something normal and routine. He could find the kitchen again and decide if he was finally going to be hungry today. Something to deviate from this and return to the norm. Smoothing his hair back, Rin scoffed softly, because all of that just seemed so unlike him. Wasn't he the boy in class who always dreamed of far off places just like this? Didn't he eat up fairy tales and fantasy and talk everyone's ear off about silly sakura pools and rainbows in the water? He sighed and with a gentle 'thud' his hand fell back onto the mattress. This is why he didn't want to wake up, why he wanted to fall asleep so quickly. Too many thoughts, not enough action.

It felt like hitting a wall all over again...

In the end, Rin did none of those things, and in the end he pushed himself up, left the room, and returned less than an hour later with two large paper bags in his hands. He didn't want to think too deeply about it, but... he wanted to make it thoughtful nonetheless. Not an afterthought, not something he did because he had to. He wanted to. And anyway... Sousuke did look a little pathetic like this, fast asleep in his own swimwear, lounging without a care in the world as always...

With both paper bags beside him, Rin reached out and with a gentle touch began to prod the other boy in the arm. Well... he supposed this was easier than climbing a ladder every morning. "Sousuke," he whispered, this time with a little shake to his shoulder. "Wake up. Oi... It's morning already and you're still on the floor."

... It was a new day. He could have chosen anything he pleased to do with it... and he chose to spend it with his best friend.

[takenwithhim]

How hard he’d finally crashed was pretty much how hard he slept. A dreamless silence that mercifully left him away from all those whirling thoughts and confusions that had consumed him the two days prior. How long he slept, he didn’t know; by the time his eyes twitched and finally drifted half-open, he almost blinded himself on the rays of sunlight. Both eyes slammed shut again and he rolled his head to the other side, pillow shifting beneath him. He couldn’t hear anything amid the half-waking daze of his mind. Maybe a fountain, maybe some birds, who knew. There was no noise from the bed beside him—Bed? Blearily, Sousuke blinked a few times. There was a bed beside him… And he was… on the floor? Why was he on the floor beside a be—Oh.

He remembered. Even tired, it came rushing back. Wandering through a strange land, meeting someone, becoming his god’s shinki, finally falling asleep beside Rin’s bed. Maybe a minute or two passed as his mind turned over the strange pieces of information, wondering about them. Before he finally pushed the blankets down towards his hips and sat up. Hair mussed and tussled despite the relative stillness of his sleep, Sousuke turned towards the bed, peering over the rise of the mattress.

Empty.

An empty bed. Lips parted in a tiny breath as lidded eyes scanned slowly over the surface of the mattress. But any thought that the empty bed would somehow prove everything in the past two days to be dream came crashing down heavy in his head. There was the blanket—now tucked over the edge of the bed—that he specifically recalled draping over Rin’s body since the idiot passed out without bothering to cover himself. The sheets straightened, the room picked up, and obviously having the room tidied up a little. It didn’t occur to him at all that his choice of sleeping location was prime grounds for being stepped on if his god had decided to get out of bed on the other side. Rin was gone, left for who knows where for who knew how long, and even had the decency to pick up before his left. All silent enough Sousuke hadn’t woken at all.

Some guard dog I turned out to be.

The next thing he knew, someone was nudging at his arm. Muscles tensed a little in response, but asides from that, he barely budged and instead seemed to sink even deeper into the bedding. Drifting back into the comfort of sleep, where he didn’t have to worry about—Sousuke—that. Even through his slumber, he heard his name. Less his name, more that voice. The same one that had called out to him, had cried in sorrow in front of him, and recited the claim to make him his. That voice that stamped itself on his mind as much as the name was branded into his shoulder. Which, speaking of, now had a hand on it, giving him a little shake. That time, it woke him up enough that a soft mumble-like growl filled his chest. Urusei. Go away. I’m tired.

But instead of taking the hint, Rin started talking to him. Teal eyes slid open again, some of the sleepy haze drifting away as, instead of sunlight hitting him in the face, shade and the image of someone’s legs covered him instead. …still on the floor. Oh really? He could’ve sworn that’s where he went to sleep. But it was enough and with a small grumble, Sousuke rolled his head again and faced the ceiling. “All right, all right,” he murmured, words half-slurring together between barely-moving lips. “I’m up.”

The last bit was huffed some as he lifted his arms and flopped them over his head in full splay. Then pulled, stretching his arms, shoulders, and chest as fingers dug into the blankets. He didn’t even bother to smother a huge yawn, spine arching and the blankets falling down around his narrow hips. And slumped back down before bracing his arms on the ground and pushing himself into a half-sitting position, arms buttressed out behind him and the flexible shoulders Rin alone recalled rolling and supporting him easily without a hint of pain or inflammation. Just his new name, written across curve looking Rin in the face. Sousuke sighed once before lifting his gaze to the other boy, eyes quiet and a good match for his bedhead hair. It wasn’t a dream. None of it was. This was real… This was his life now. Hn. Well, it obviously could be worse.

“You should’ve woken me up earlier, baka.” What if something happened to you and he was here sleeping away? He’s your shinki, remember? Supposed to protect you and stuff? By the way, morning.

[sharkmaid]

To be fair, Rin made sure to move swiftly and slowly this morning, because for once he didn't feel the need to wake Sousuke up straight away. And anyway, this idiot was always a heavy sleeper to begin with, so it didn't surprise him when he didn't so much as move as the sheets rustled or his footsteps shuffled against the plush carpet below. Yes, Sousuke was his shinki and everything that came with that title... but before all else he was still a person and he was still a very important one to Rin. He was sure another hour of sleep wouldn't do them any harm.

Still, he thought it considerate enough to make his trip a quick one just in case. He didn't want his shinki waking up and thinking his own god abandoned him. Rin didn't know of that mattered at all to Sousuke one way or another--re-learning him still didn't come naturally--but he didn't want to take his chances. If he was going to earn Sousuke's trust and make sure he wouldn't regret his decision to partner up with Rin, then he needed to start right away. He could only hope the "right way" was actually right.

Well, at least this whole process was familiar, and as Sousuke tensed and grumbled, Rin couldn't hold back a small smile. Yeah. It was always like this wasn't it? Waking up first, getting dressed and ready first, being the one to climb to the upper bunk to poke and prod this sleeping log awake. Sousuke didn't know it now, but he'd get it eventually after a few more mornings, he was sure. Rin would take the hint--all the growling and rolling over and less-than-pleased sighs--but each and every time he'd choose to ignore it. Thankfully, it seemed Sousuke took the hint himself, and after those eyes opened, Rin peered down over the tops of his knees, the smile on his face widening a bit with victory.

"Good," he said as Sousuke finally began to move. "There's a lot you and I haven't seen of this place yet, so I figured it'd be best if we start early." Crossing his legs beneath him, Rin reached over into one of the paper bags and began to dig through it. "But first thing's first. You need some new clothes." It wasn't easy finding a place with all the right styles and sizes, admittedly, and of course he needed to take in consideration his own funds, but he was satisfied with his choices--proud of them, really--and started taking them out in little organized piles he set aside earlier. Theoretically all the shirts and pants would be fine for mixing and matching... but these outfits were specific... and thoughtful! For example! Sousuke liked loose-fitting, non-constricting clothes, he knew that much, so a majority of the tops he laid out were large button downs and plain t-shirts. Those always paired well together. And khakis! ... Not Rin's first choice, but he wasn't shopping for himself anyway. At any rate, with all the piles set out, he finally looked up--

--and snickered a bit at the sight of unruly hair. Yeah. That was typical too, wasn't it? "I didn't wanna wake you up too early," said as he crossed his arms over his chest. "If I did, then none of this would have been a surprise!" ... Oh. Speaking of which.

Clearing his throat, Rin lifted his head up then offered a wide, confident grin. "So... surprise!" And good morning to you too.

[takenwithhim]

Obviously his god was a quiet person when he wanted to be. Sousuke looked around the room to see just what else the other boy had been up to while he’d been sleeping. Leaving him here to snooze on the ground while Rin went out and did whatever. He wasn’t even sure why he felt upset with himself. It wasn’t like he knew Rin and the pact had only been made yesterday. Did shinki really have to travel with their gods wherever and everywhere they went? They didn’t have to be attached at the hips. Rin could do his own things without pulling Sousuke with him. … Che, he still felt annoyed.

He opted not to tell Rin he’d woken up already and found him missing. Unless that had been a dream… He really couldn’t remember. A soft sigh slipped out again and he tented one leg so he could drape one arm over his knee. Attention back on Rin and that small smile working at his lips. A dark brow arched. What was he grinning about? Sousuke scratched at the back of his head, some of the unruly spikes bobbing around at the motions. Whatever. He was up now and Rin was awake and talking. Teal eyes dropped to the bags sitting on the ground next to his god. What, did he go get something while he was out? How long had he been sleeping?

Before he could ask though, Rin was working into the bags. “I saw plenty of it yesterday,” he grumbled, trying to keep it under his breath but with Rin being less than three feet from him, it probably didn’t cover up. Did Rin need to know he’d gotten lost and looked in probably every door on the left side of the castle? Nope. Strains of sleepiness and irritation flitted away however when the mention of clothes happened. He lifted his head, eyes dropping to the bags, then rising to Rin again. “Oy…” You didn’t have— … You did. Clothes. New clothes coming out of the bags. Just for him. Sousuke pressed his lips together, a few emotions running into him. Annoyance that someone was providing him clothes. Relief that he didn’t have to keep wearing these skintight legging things. And a softer gratitude despite his pride. Rin had let him sleep a little longer and spent the time between getting him clothes. Yeah, he knew gods were supposed to take care of their shinki, but something about this felt… a lot more than “duty” to him. It was thoughtful…

He blinked at the wide grin and that cheerful display. Surprise! Sousuke stared at him for several seconds. … Cute. He gave himself a mental shake for even thinking such a thing! Where had that thought come from in the first place?! Shoving it away, he dropped his gaze to the clothes again. T-shirts, button downs, pants. All set out in pairs. He didn’t know if it was weird or just lucky but… he liked what he saw. Well, he could forgive and forget that snicker earlier. Guessing it was because of his hair. Sousuke reached over to pick up one of the shirts, a light blue one with a white t-shirt coupled with it. Soft and clean. They felt nice in his hands. Yeah, he’d received information and chatting with other people but, this right now felt different. The first thing he’d been given physically in this world. (The new name and new form didn’t really count.)

“Aa… thanks.” His voice softened, losing the morning grumpiness in the process. Even if it bothered him a little Rin was giving him clothes, one, he didn’t really have an option, and two, it was really nice of him. And he wasn’t such an jerk to refuse them either. He gave the shirts a little toss as he looked at Rin. A small smile appeared on his face, gentle.

“Morning, Rin.”

[sharkmaid]

"You saw, but I didn't," he argued, because clearly that was very important. He was the god of this place, wasn't he? If he didn't know his own home from the inside out, then how could he be expected to be much of a god at all? Sure, it wouldn't happen overnight, memorizing all the places, twists and turns, but it couldn't have been impossible. And anyway, someone needed to be here to make sure Sousuke wouldn't get himself lost. Really, that was Rin's top priority, and he'd be sure to carry it out whether Sousuke liked it or not.

Watching his shinki stare at the clothes spread out between them had Rin's chest feeling a little lighter already, though he couldn't be sure if that was because of his own emotions or Sousuke's, maybe even a combination of both. One thing was for sure though... he seemed to like them, and with a soft, relieved sigh, Rin let him look through the outfits on his own. Oh, the blue shirt? Funny enough, he went for that one first when he stepped inside the store earlier. It just reminded him of something Sousuke wore before, that's all...

He blinked and lifted his head when he heard that little 'thanks' and for a moment he found himself surprised by the softer tone of voice. So... he really did like them? And most importantly, was he happy about it? It wasn't until he saw that smile that Rin knew for sure and his body began to heat up from the inside out. To anyone else that might have been gentle, subtle, insignificant... but to Rin, it was the only thing he wanted ever since he it went missing underneath the blooming sakura trees. It wasn't the brightest nor the biggest, but it was still a smile, and because it came from his best friend, it was too important for Rin to ignore.

His eyes quivered softly, appearing glossy beneath the golden morning light, but with a small laugh he managed to control himself just this once. No crying right now. He was ready to look forward.

"Morning, Sousuke." Rin tilted his head as he said it, but a few seconds later he looked over his shoulder, remembering the second bag he brought with him too. "Oh. You'll be needing these also." He pulled out what looked to be a shoebox and set it in front of him so he grab hold of the top annnd... lift it! "Hah! No more walking barefoot!" he cheered, arms spread out to the side. They weren't the fanciest shoes, but, then again, it wasn't like Sousuke ever wore the fanciest shoes in the first place. Just a pair of black and red running shoes, which incidentally also reminded him of something he used to wear back home. He just hoped he'd be responsible and not store them on top of a table or desk this time.

"Pretty cool, right? Though, uh... if you want a different style, I can go back or something to switch 'em out." He hoped he wasn't being too obvious about knowing Sousuke's personal preferences.

[takenwithhim]

Sousuke glanced to the side, lips firming in a small pout at the reminder. He wasn’t going to answer that argument because it’d bring up the fact of “why” he saw as much as he did. And there was no way he was going to tell Rin that. Sousuke nodded, accepting the chance to go exploring again. Because really, he could use the repeat, since the risk of getting lost would be gone this time. If he was going to live here, he had to know his way around. Or else be mortified each time Rin had to come find him… Plus, seeing things in the day rather than at night was sure to make them a lot more enjoyable, right?

Clothes. Much better topic anyways. Sousuke set down the pair he’d picked up initially and began scouring over the others. As far as he could tell, there was nothing he didn’t like, so that was good. Having no memories or anything made it… strange. But thinking about his preferences brought another nauseous aversion feeling and he quietly accepted that and moved on. After looking through the choices, he pulled a pair of dark slacks to go with the shirts. That was fine for the day. Wasn’t like he was dressing up for something.

When Rin looked at him for the gratitude, he averted his gaze again, feeling a little called out for it. What? You’re supposed to thank someone for being kind to you. And yet, that look made his chest flutter a little and a mixture of frustration and embarrassment slipped through him. He was just doing what was normal; Rin didn’t have to look so… surprised (touched) about it. The smile stayed even if his eyes didn’t and he finally offered a small sigh and began stacking the clothes, his day’s choice set to the side on the blankets.

Don’t think he missed those quivering eyes. Worried that it might make Rin cry, he looked back at him and gave a small shake of his head. “Aa.” But before he could offer something else, Rin was already moving on and he titled his head to the side at the second bag opening. Needing… Shoes. Sousuke paused at the appearance of the footwear, and a small breath slipped out, amused at the presentation and the way Rin spread his arms. Like it was some huge surprise, worthy of such fanfare. Really, this guy… “Good. Those floors were cold.” And man, despite everything on his brain last night, the sheer relief at being able to lie down and take his weight off his feet had been immense. Walking barefoot on hard ground practically all day left his feet sore and his ankles protesting more than a little.

He… really liked the colors though. The black and red… Sousuke lifted one out of the box and turned it around, inspecting the make and feel of it. The mention of taking them back earned a shake of his head. “No. I like them.” That soft voice again, sincere and meaning it. He really did like them. The red reminded him of Rin, actually. Though there was one thing…

He set the shoe back inside the box, unwilling to get dressed before he got a shower (really, he’d been two days without one now, so…) Sousuke looked up to the other boy again, curious. “Did you guess my size?” Not like Sousuke even knew his size, to be blunt about it.

[sharkmaid]

Rin wasn't sure, but he still had a sneaking suspicion that Sousuke was prone to getting himself lost even if he didn't remember that about himself anymore. Just like speaking, walking, frowning and laughing, getting lost was always a part of who Sousuke was as a person. It was practically second nature. So while it would be frustrating at times, thinking about it brought a faint smile to his face anyway, because... it was familiar, and like Sousuke himself, it was stubborn and would probably stick around no matter the amount of teaching and training Rin could do to fix it. These little bits of him... Rin wanted them to stay when nothing else could.

Anyway, he could think about that later on. For now, he wanted their conversations as simple and as friendly as he could keep them. Yeah, they could get into some real tiffs--also second nature for both of them by now--but he figured it would be better to steer clear of those if he could help it. They were starting over, after all. ... He needed it to work.

"Oh, good. I, uh... took a shot in the dark with the style, but I thought it kind of suited you. And anyway, don't worry. We'll walk slower today." His feet hurt pretty bad too, but that probably paled in comparison to how Sousuke felt. Aching muscles aside, Rin could see he was in need of a shower, and having skipped his own last night, he knew it couldn't have been comfortable to fall asleep like that. That in mind, he folded up the paper bags and closed the shoe box before standing, his figure illuminated in the warm golden glow from the window, his face tired but still baring that same soft smile. Compared to yesterday anyway, wasn't this preferable? He was about to turn and set the box on a nearby table when Sousuke looked up and posed that question, and at first Rin paused, quietly staring back.

I know all your clothing sizes. It's always been a little trickier with shirts--you always put on muscles so easily... but I know you.

I know you so well.

Rin turned away and after tucking a few strands of hair behind his hear he walked over to set the box and bags down. With a small laugh, "Yeah, I'm really great at guessing. You could say it's a hidden talent of mine." Why couldn't he tell him? Such a small thing... Why did it feel strange to even think about answering it with the truth? Weren't they always supposed to be honest with each other? ... His shoulder ached as he looked over again, smiling wide enough to show teeth. I'm sorry, Sousuke. I have to lie.

"But enough about that. You really need a shower!" He pointed across the room to where another door was, and, yes, he did make sure to check this morning to make sure he wouldn't be sending Sousuke into a closet. "There's a tub in there too if you wanna soak, but don't you think baths are better at night?" Not that Sousuke would have an opinion on that right now, but he figured he'd pose the question anyway for the sake of keeping things natural.

[takenwithhim]

Well he certainly wasn’t going to mention getting lost yesterday. Even if it had resulted in him taking himself on a wandering tour of the castle during sundown. Honestly, Sousuke didn’t remember much of it; just a flurry of opening and closing doors and glances into the rooms behind them. Turning down one hall and walking into another one. At least the stairs only seemed to go two directions: up or down. It was embarrassing to admit to himself he’d gotten lost, but… This was his first time here, he was distracted, obviously, and it wasn’t like he could simply push open one of those glass windows and look out to find the front door so as to orient himself. Seeing that faint smile on Rin’s mouth made him suspect something, but the shinki kept his own mouth shut, neither confirming or deny whatever Rin was thinking. Hmph.

Still, with a fresh morning in front of him and a good, hard sleep behind him, the stress and heaviness of the past two days seemed fainter, less weighty on his shoulders. Which, speaking of, he glanced silently to the side, looking at his right shoulder. The name… Yumeki. His name, was still there. There was nothing else he could do to fathom this some sort of dream. It was real and he’d better suck it up and move forward. Better than fading off into nothing, right?

Sousuke looked back at Rin, a brow arching. “A shot in the dark, huh.” But Rin said ‘style’ rather than ‘size’ so that wasn’t all hard to swallow. He looked at the clothes again and the pair he’d opted for the day. Resting just where he’d laid them beside him. Yeah, admittedly, he did like them. “Hn. Lucky shot,” he murmured, though it wasn’t cold or abrasive, maybe even a little amused at both of them. The rest of the clothes and shoe box went back into the bags and Sousuke tilted his head up to follow his god rising to his feet. Lips parted and a soft, invisible breath of—he didn’t know what—slipped out when he saw Rin illuminated in the sunlight behind him. He really did look like a deity in that moment, with that gentle smile shadowed with tiredness accenting those red eyes and hair.

Yesterday’s rocky start seemed a lot less preferable to this. However, when Rin paused about his question about sizes, Sousuke’s arched brow dropped into a slight furrow of them both. A little confused, a little curious, he regarded the other boy’s silence without a word of his own. The slight frustration that welled up only summoned Rin’s words from yesterday: …what I can and can’t tell you. Without Rin saying anything, Sousuke figured this was a question they shouldn’t talk about. Annoying, but if those feelings from the past two days were any indication, he’d rather avoid those topics that made him feel like retching.

You’re lying. Teal eyes bored into Rin’s back at those words. Great at guessing. Hidden talent. Sousuke called bullshit mentally. For a few more seconds, he remained silent. But when Rin looked to him again, that smile so wide it showed those sharp, white teeth, Sousuke paused, the focused expression seeming to bloom into something a little surprised, a little piqued. Now you’re apologizing for it. And how the hell do I even know that?

He closed his eyes and ducked his head, a small huff of wry amusement sounding through a gentle smirk. Whatever. It’s not important. He had better things to do. Like figure out how he was going to live with this guy. Regardless of whatever could or couldn’t be said, it was obvious Rin cared for him. And really… Sousuke owed him gratitude rather than annoyance. Rin had given him a home, a goal, a life. “Oy. I would’ve gotten one last night but I couldn’t—My legs were killing me.” Nope, not mentioning he couldn’t find something.

Muscles shifted in his legs as he pressed his feet to the rug and bedding below him. Giving them a few brushes, he tested whether they were going to kill him again for putting pressure on them. Not getting death threats, the larger boy pushed himself up to stand. A jolt of pain and dull ache stabbed up through the soles of his feet, particularly form his heels and the balls. But he weathered it without showing it, ignoring his thighs too. With a nod, Sousuke headed for the door Rin indicated. “Maybe, but I’m going to soak anyways.” Who knew if baths felt better at morning or night, but his legs weren’t going to tolerate walking around the castle without giving them some pampering at least a little bit.

He looked over his shoulder as he opened the door. “You could probably use a shower too,” Sousuke pointed out. “Bedhead.”

[sharkmaid]

He had a feeling Sousuke wouldn't believe him--hell, Rin would be skeptical too if he were in his shinki's place--but he was thankful he let the moment pass rather than ask any more questions. With luck, they'd be able to get through today without many questions, at least any suspicious ones, and really, after yesterday's disaster, those were the last things they needed to deal with... aside from anymore crying. But Rin had every intention of keeping his emotions in check today, because it was just as Sousuke thought: they did have better things to focus on. And if that meant suppressing his feelings for a while, he would do it as best he could.

With a small huff of his own, he propped a hand on his hip then rolled his eyes towards Sousuke's excuse. "Were your legs really killing you or did you get lost?" He didn't wait for a response though, and while Sousuke stood up and tried to get some feeling back in his legs, Rin decided to take it upon himself to start picking up all the clothes and setting them on the bed. Hm. He wondered if it would have been better to hang all of this up... Though with that in mind, he wondered where Sousuke was going to stay now. That other bedroom was several hallways away from here last he checked, and he highly doubted they'd be repeating this same sleeping arrangement tonight.

"Hm?" Oh. That. Well, he supposed after everything yesterday, he needed all the pampering and rest he could get. And anyway, who knew what was coming in the next few days? Training, fighting. All those things he heard about but still couldn't bring himself to imagine. They were just high school boys, you know. Before any of this, they had no business putting themselves up against this kind of danger. ... Later. They could discuss that a little later. "You'd better not stay in there too long though. I'm not gonna let you get all--"

Wait. Bedhead?

"Oy!" he called after him, one hand reaching across the bed for a pillow, the other smoothing his hair back over his neck. It couldn't have been standing up that much! "You're one to talk!" And with that-- toss! There the pillow went, flying across the room and straight for the door without a second thought. Though whether it would connect or not, somewhere in there, there might have been the slightest flash of a grin and even the quietest of chuckles. Oh, so he thought he could get cocky with him now, did he?

[takenwithhim]

At this point, trying to find out what to believe and what to not believe was just going to give him a headache. It was less of a hassle to simply accept what was said and worry about it later. Skepticism could wait till a later date once he had more ground and reason to try and think about it. Besides, after yesterday, Sousuke really didn’t want to go through his first day with Rin arguing about something neither of them could either change or know much about. Not to mention his mind was more than willing to completely focus on the shower he was aiming to take. He still thought about their time yesterday, wondered if perhaps he’d been too harsh on Rin’s feelings, but given this morning, things seemed to be accepted, if not forgiven. For both of them. He just hoped Rin wasn’t stuffing his emotions down for Sousuke’s sake…

…or did you get lost? Shoulders jerked upward and Sousuke’s hair seemed to stand on end for a second. Oy! “Legs,” he shot back without looking over his shoulder this time. Give him a break; it wasn’t like he had a map to this place to know his way around! Hearing Rin messing around with the clothes and bags behind him, he pushed open the door to the bathroom and took a look around the room. It was… wow… as impressive as the other rooms he’d seen in this castle. Stone, glass, decorative metal, with that weird mixture of grace, strength, beauty, and masculinity that was so in tune with its owner.

“Right, right,” Sousuke muttered under his breath when Rin warned him about taking too long. “Che, like you’re going to run out of water.” There was a fountain right in front of the front door! Still, a little smirk played at the corner of his mouth when the young god cut off with that yelp. Look, he hadn’t seen Rin with perfect hair this morning, okay? It was frizzy and kind of messy, only owing its semblance of “style” to having more length and hang than Sousuke’s. Just calling it like he saw it, okay? He snorted at the rejoinder… at least until he looked in the grand mirror beside him and saw exactly how much his own bedhead was. Ugh—

WHAP! A hard grunt of surprise zipped out of the bathroom and his head bowed forward. “OY!” Did he just—Oh hell he did! Rin just threw a damn pillow at him! Sousuke rubbed at the back of his head, more of his hair sticking up in bedraggled spikes, and grabbed the pillow off the counter. He huffed in annoyance and twisted on the shower—no, he turned on a bath, and let the hot water fill up. His legs already ached from just this simple movement enough, tired from yesterday and the day before. Sousuke found a closet nearby and soon enough, stood in front of the mirror with a thick, black towel wrapped around his hips. The discarded legskins lay on the floor nearby like shed snakeskin.

A moment later, a strong, tan arm extended out from the bathroom and whipped the pillow right back at Rin. Yeah, he wasn’t letting him get away with that, jerk.

Sousuke headed for the bath without bothering to see the results.

[sharkmaid]

Rin didn't mind Sousuke's reactions from yesterday and not once did he think about being upset at him for it. As he told himself countless times by now, he had the right to be frustrated, angry, everything in between. Rin only had to be patient. Easier said than done, but... so far it was working. Couldn't say the same for Sousuke though. Rin still couldn't imagine how it would feel waking up like he did, with no memories, no knowledge, just his name and knowing that he died. He'd always forgive him in the end, even if it hurt.

He only laughed at first--sure it's just your legs--and was fine with leaving Sousuke to take care of himself while he finished straightening up, but when he noticed his attack actually connected, he had to pause and stare through the doorway, half amused and half worried he might have acted too thoughtlessly and casually in the situation. Sure, it was normal between the two of them in the past, but Sousuke didn't know that. For all Rin knew, tossing a pillow at him like that could have been the most offensive thing in the world. So he stared and blinked, watched as he grabbed the pillow and fluffed up his hair, turned on the faucet... then ducked into the nearby closet.

Curious, he took a step forward, and with his neck craned he couldn't help but try to peek and see just what his shinki was up to. He hoped he didn't plan on locking himself up in there, and he really hoped he wouldn't get lost even in such a small space. "Sousuke?" Oh. Movement. Looked like he was coming ba--

"OY!" His turn to yell this time, not for the towel but for leaving his clothes on the floor! Was he raised in a barn!? "At least pick up your clothes!" he grumbled, ready to reach out and shut the door... only to be struck head-on with his own pillow. "Gah! Che, you--" Ouch, that one packed a punch, didn't it? Not that he expected anything less, but still! Pouting and with his hair even more ruffled up than before, Rin scooped the pillow up from the ground and as tempting as it was to bean it right back, he resisted, and instead chose to turn around to give Sousuke his privacy. Ngh, he couldn't let that escalate any further... or risk making that towel fall off, now that he thought about it.

"If you're still in there after an hour though, I'm fishing you out myself!" he called over his shoulder before crossing the room and heading back out into the hallway. Time to find another bathroom to use.

[takenwithhim]

It wasn’t like it was Rin’s fault; the guy had his own issues to deal with getting dumped into this place without a clue about how it worked either. Sousuke knew he had his memories though; his interaction with Makoto earlier already proved that. But thinking about asking Rin about those memories… didn’t sit well with him. Much better to think about something more at hand. Like getting off his legs and into the bath. The water was already filling up the tub and steaming as it poured from the shower’s head above him. Maybe he should let the water run from the faucet, but… combine them both for now.

“Heh heh he.” A deep, short self-satisfied laugh slipped out low under his breath when heard Rin shout and the pillow landed on its mark. Good. That’s what he got for throwing it at him in the first place. Pulling the towel off his hips, Sousuke stepped into the shower. Unconsciously, he didn’t think about even closing the door behind him, his body instantly clouded by steam and drenched in the hot water. Teal eyes closed and he tilted his head back as a low groan vibrated in his chest. He lifted both hands and pushed them against his face, starting a slow, backwards crawl as his fingers buried into his hair and pulled dark bangs away from his forehead.

Going two days without a shower made this feel so good right now. Barely hearing Rin’s comments outside, he offered a leisurely dip of his head that might or might not have been a nod in agreement. Something about an hour and myself. Whatever. Sousuke rubbed at his face a few times, massaging his eyes, temples, and scalp to get the bleary feelings off his skin and out of his head. He wanted to be awake for today, whatever they ended up doing. Rin was a good person; he knew that already despite what happened the previous day. And… he kind of wanted to spend some more time with him. Well… either that or figured he didn’t really have a choice at the moment, being his shinki and all. Rin didn’t seem the kind of person that would take “No” for an answer either. Amusing.

A few minutes later, Sousuke was sitting on the floor, his long body stretched out in the tub, one leg lazily thrown over the edge of the tub, the other hiked upward. Water dripped off his skin as he rubbed at his legs, working on his ankle, calf, knee, and thigh. The motions felt… familiar, like he was used to doing this kind of muscle massage, and he didn’t give them much thought. But it definitely helped the strain and ache lingering in his leg. Soap slipped off the shelf nearby (a pink, sakura-scented oval bar) and he began lathering himself up amid the bath and shower’s fall. What even were they going to do today? Probably explore the castle, but what about all that god and shinki thing? Did they have to address that?

He hoped not. Not yet at least.

[sharkmaid]

He assumed Sousuke would take care of shutting the door behind him when he wanted, and it was probably for the best that Rin turned when he did otherwise he would have given both of them a hell of a shock. Sure, they saw each other in various states of undress loads of times considering their sport, but of course Sousuke didn't know that, and Rin was trying to build their relationship, not destroy it. Anyway, that was far from his mind, far from both their minds probably, and once he was out the door, Rin crossed the hall and ducked into the nearest bedroom.

It took him a few tries--of course not every bedroom in this place had a bathroom--but eventually he found one a little ways down the hall. Smaller than the other one, but no less extravagant with the usual gold trim and white marble stretching from wall to wall. Honestly, he wondered how the hell he was supposed to keep a huge place like this in check if it was just going to be himself and Sousuke living in it. And even if he eventually picked up more shinki along the way, he wasn't so sure there would ever be enough to keep this place spotless. With a sigh, he closed the door behind him, though left it open just a crack. Somehow he doubted Sousuke would even finish before him or manage to find him at that.

"Hmph. That guy..." he mused quietly while he walked to the counter and started to peel his clothes off layer by layer, starting with his jacket then his shirt which (unlike someone he could mention) he made sure to fold up and not leave on the floor. There wasn't a tub in here but that was probably for the best if he wanted to keep himself awake. So a shower it was, a very spacious shower now that he looked at it, with high glass doors and sides and various necessities lined up neatly on the corner shelf. On any other occasion he might have thought this was all luxurious and grand, some kind of vacation he should enjoy after all the emotional and physical baggage from back home. But as he twisted the water on and let it soak into his hair and skin, Rin stared down at the drain, feeling bitter and tense. This is what this place was good at, wasn't it? Giving and taking without giving anyone a choice.

He knew they had to address all that at some point. With eyes shut and head tilted back into the warm spray, he knew they couldn't avoid it for very long. They had to move, they had to be helpful... they had to protect themselves and the others. Briefly he wondered if Makoto and Nagisa were going through this same struggle and he smiled with a quiet scoff. Maybe. But Nagisa was always bright and Makoto was always positive. Rin could only hope they would be ok.

Fingers massaged into his scalp once he pushed his long bangs way from his face and under the downpour the water spilled and cascaded over weary plains and valleys, brought some feeling back into his feet and eased weight off of his chest. Honestly, he thought he would wake up and find himself different. What if they decided to give him wings, change his hair color, make him shorter or taller? But as it was, he still felt and looked like Rin. He still felt and looked human. What was there about any of this which made him a god? And a god of love-- What did that even mean? Who looked at him and thought that would make any bit of sense?

More than anything though, he questioned how and why this all worked. At any given moment, couldn't something happen? A transformation, a change... They were dealing with powers and abilities far beyond human comprehension. And now that he thought about it, what other changes had Sousuke undergone himself?

Working the shampoo into his hair into a lather, Rin frowned and once again glared into the drain. Tsk. This was supposed to be relaxing.

[takenwithhim]

Rin assumed he was thinking completely straight right now; not that it mattered with no one in the bedroom by the time Sousuke actually glanced to the side and realized the door was standing wide open. He tensed slightly, not knowing if there was anyone out there. But no sound, no response, no motion. Rin probably left to go grab his own shower elsewhere. He sighed and leaned back in the tub, shoulders and upper back resting against the marble curve in a comfortable place. It was nice to sit and rest, have some time to think in comfort without the weight of strange celebrations and heavy loneliness of the unknown.

He could run through those memories in his mind; everything seemed to stand out so clear in his relatively-empty head. Each moment of meeting with Rin yesterday, the conversations the day before, the contents of the rooms he looked into (okay some of those actually blurred into one long, lost wander through the castle), coming into Rin’s bedroom last night to find his god flopped across the bed without so much as a blanket on. He really had been that tired, hadn’t he… This place was huge. So many rooms, so many places they didn’t know. How were just the two of them supposed to fill this place? Would it even be filled?

… something about that thought made him feel strange. And not in the ominous way that he’d already learned meant he was nearing a dangerous topic. No, this was something else. What if there are others? Other shinki Rin was assigned to or found and chose to call his own. A cold feeling crawled across his skin, as if a weight pulled into his stomach and dragged his skin tingling and tightening with it. All of which split upon that single thought and turned into something hot that slithered through his veins and made his face heat, drew his brows into a furrow, pressed his lips to a firm line. Defensive. What if there was someone else...?

It surprised at just how pervasive that feeling was. Gnawing at his chest and wrapping around his mind the more he thought about it. At once, he was repulsed by it and defensively clung to it. It made no sense though! He just met the guy yesterday, they hardly had any conversation between them, had left each other on a sour note, and he’d even thrown a pillow at him this morning! Sousuke didn’t know Rin from any other stranger he met his first day here during that celebration! So then why… Why do I feel jealous?

He glowered at his reflection in the water when that question triggered that feeling. The encroaching danger one. A soft growl bled through his lips and he dragged his other leg back into the bath. Frustrating. Sousuke swiped the soap again and got to work on his other leg, massaging muscles and rubbing at his skin, both calming the ache in his limb and the flurry in his head. He thought of the castle inside, the sakura outside and how the sunlight spilled through the windows. The bedroom he slept in last night, the clothes Rin got for him, the fountain by the front door. Romantic thoughts he was sure Rin’d be proud of (gentle sarcasm there). With a soft sigh, he let himself sink, eyes closing as he curled his hips and let his entire body slide under the water.

Far too much to think about. Rin, their future, his new form and powers (he thought they were powers maybe, since he was supposed to be a tool or a weapon?), his new home, his partnership with Rin, how hungry he was at the moment, did anything else ache on his body, that rug was actually pretty comfortable, was he going to sleep by the foot of Rin’s bed again tonight (would Rin let him if he did?), this castle was going to take a week to learn any sort of direction inside it, did the shinki he met two days ago meet up with their gods (Goten, Kuroyukihime, Zoro), what sort of person (or god) was Rin in the first place?

Long fingers gripped the edge of the tub and with a strong pull, he hauled himself up to his feet. Water cascaded down his figure, spilling over the hard curves and lithe swells of his musculature as he twisted the shower off behind him and let himself drip. Stand there and drip and try not to think about anything for a little while.

[sharkmaid]

Rin found himself thinking back to that topic himself, his hands slowing in his hair, distracted. He wondered if and when he would find anyone else and how many others there could be for that matter. Bishamon told him she had several, half of which were even eliminated because of a misunderstanding, and though Rin was new to this world, he didn't doubt he could have been in the same place some time down the road. People died every day. They were judged and sorted and placed here every day. And as much as he wanted to continue focusing on his relationship with Sousuke... surely there would come a time when he could devote all his time to him alone.

It scared him as much as it made him wonder, and briefly he even questioned Sousuke's feeling regarding the matter. He had to have thought about it, this and that about his existence, Rin's existence, and everything in between. He worried it would bother him, maybe even scare him, and as he stood staring at the bubbles washing away down the drain, he wondered if it was even right of him to leave Sousuke alone.

... It happened so suddenly, Rin swore he almost fell backwards where he stood. A dull ache to start, but it grew quickly, spreading from the center of his chest outwards to leave his skin and muscles numb. It wasn't quite like what he felt yesterday, but it was similar enough for Rin to know where it was coming from. Not anger, not fear... Some other form of distress, choking and heavy. With his hand over his heart, Rin leaned forward against the glass, head ducked and chest heaving as he struggled to calm his body down. No... wait, never mind that. This pain wasn't even coming from inside of him. If his assumptions were correct, then Sousuke--

It could have been barely anything, but it was enough for Rin to quickly shut the water off and stumble out, not caring if he left a trail of water behind him as he snatched up a towel and hurriedly tied it around his waist. Just what the hell was that guy doing? He was only taking a bath! There couldn't have been anything wrong with that, could there? Rin was already halfway out the door when he felt another sharp pang, but just as quickly as it came, it soon dissipated into nothing, leaving him wide eyed and staring down at his open palm as if expecting something to be there. Nothing... Suddenly there was nothing.

All the more reason to move though, and move he did, still dripping wet and shivering as he turned down the hall and entered the bedroom to find it exactly as he left it. Nothing out of place, Sousuke must have still been in the bathroom...

"... Sousuke?" he called out, panting softly with his hand propped in the doorway to keep himself steady. "Are you ok?" He didn't wait for a response though and crossed the room, not even thinking about both of them being naked and stepping into the doorway anyway.

[takenwithhim]

It was strange to stand here like this, feeling the water run down in lines across his skin. With the shower turned off behind him, leaving only the bath lapping around his knees, it left nothing else for him to focus on save for the dripping off his fingers and bangs. Each drop seemed loud in the room, echoing through the castle almost. This huge place for him and Rin alone to live within, facing a future neither of them knew about and only one of them with a full head. And both of them different and changed in a way he doubted either of them even had remotely figured out. Rin could turn him into a dog; that was about all Sousuke knew right now that he could be sure of.

What did Rin know? He obviously had his memories, but he’d told Sousuke already there were things he couldn’t tell him. And while he was willing to accept that out of a desire to not make things even more awkward between them, it did nothing to settle his realizing that there were things he wouldn’t get to know. Fine, even if he had to deal with that, at least he could know things about Rin, right? They didn’t have to go through this whole god and shinki thing without talking to each other, learning about each other. Right?

Right. Or so he was stubbornly going to decide for himself, for them, right here and now. Even if he couldn’t find out about everything, they could still learn about each other. He nodded, as if making himself aware of that decision. For some reason, it felt like he should. Standing here doing nothing and just thinking wasn’t helping either of them. With a quick huff, he grabbed the oval of soap again and began to work the bar and lather over his body. Suds dragged across his skin and his hands followed. White foam bubbled over curves and collected in the dips of his muscles, slowly clinging to water and beginning to lazily drip and glaze his body like some kind of sudsy, melting candle. It helped take his mind off things, focusing only on the feeling of the bar over his skin and the way the thicker coating dripped down his--

Sousuke?

He blinked. That was Rin’s voice. Teal eyes flicked up and he froze when a hand propped on the doorway and all of a sudden, he suddenly had Rin standing in the entrance of the bathroom, still dripping wet with a towel wrapped around himself. And Sousuke… Sousuke was standing in the bath, covered in suds, in full view, completely—

BUTT ASS NAKED!

“OY! WHAT THE HELL, RIN?!”

And promptly dropped straight down into the bath as fast as possible, splashing water over the edges and crossing both arms and his legs in a protective crouch to cover up as best he could.

[sharkmaid]

It might have been smart to think before he acted in this one situation, but how could he when he was so struck with pain and the only thing on his mind was checking to make sure Sousuke didn't accidentally do something to himself? He didn't know how all of this worked still! He only knew that it was instinctive and if he didn't check on Sousuke, he'd probably regret it later. So he was quick about it, not wanting to waste a second he could have spent making sure his shinki wasn't doing something dangerous.

... Nothing could have prepared him for this though. Not a single bit.

"SHIT!"

The room filled with the sound of shrieking and fumbling when Sousuke turned around and at that moment Rin realized the mess he'd gotten himself into. Oh, god, he was still taking a shower, of course he was still taking a shower! What else would he be doing!? Why did he think he could just barge in here and-- Dammit, of all the times to not be thinking clearly! He had enough on his mind as it was! Rin nearly slipped when he stumbled back and he would have ducked behind the wall straight away if the sight of water spilled out onto the floor didn't completely take him by surprise. Oy! First he left his clothes on the floor, then he had to go and flood the place? He wanted to say so many things in one breath, but ultimately he opted for his first choice and scurried behind the nearby wall to give Sousuke his privacy back.

"L-look, I was just checking to make sure you were ok!" he eventually called out over his shoulder, one hand swiping his bangs back and the other wiping water away from his chin. "I... I just had a feeling!"

[takenwithhim]

Sousuke glowered over the edge of the bath, his tall frame obviously too big to be completely covered by the bath’s sides. But at least it gave him some privacy, unlike a certain someone he could name right now. The water sloshed back and forth, slapping against his hips and legs as he crouched. The glower turned to a brief wince when Rin’s voice went shrill and that curse stabbed into his ears. Ow! Did he seriously have to be that loud?! (Not like he was one to say anything, having just shouted his head off a second ago.) A flustered scrambling and fumbling, an almost-slip right down on his ass, and Rin was out the door and around the wall.

Well what the hell did Rin think he was doing?! Sousuke knew he could get a fast wash if he wanted, but he definitely hadn’t been planning on it. A growling sound rumbled in his chest and the swimmer balled his fists against his ribs, face pinking something amazing. Dammit. Seconds ticked by and he refused to move as Rin’s voice came rushing around the corner. At least explaining himself. Of course, for all his irritation and awkwardness right now, he wondered what it was that had driven his god to go rushing into the bathroom, so worried or distracted he ended up getting himself flashed for barging right in. Teal eyes narrowed and Sousuke’s expression went flat as Rin finished that explanation.

“What did you think I was doing in here to not be okay?” he answered, voice muttering in a mixture of incredulous and grumpy. He knew how to get a shower, you know. You don’t need memories for that. But the last part… Sousuke lifted his head, eyes locking on the empty doorway (which as still wet because someone hadn’t bothered to dry off before all-but-streaking down the hallway into the bathroom). A dark brow arched, suspicions aroused. “What kind of… feeling?”

Irritated, yes, but his voice dipped curiously concerned with the latter question. After all, hadn’t Rin already said he was a great guesser? Even if Sousuke had previously called bullshit on that, he had to admit he had no clue for sure if Rin was or wasn’t telling the truth there. And he wasn’t so embarrassed that he forgot he’d just experienced a very strong feeling of his own a minute or so before.

[sharkmaid]

Geez, and they started off this day so well! It was the only thing Rin could think as he stood behind that stupid water, his hair dripping water over his shoulders, his feet soaking the carpet beneath, and for the first time since he left that warm shower he felt a rush of cold and shivered. Bringing a hand down, he tried to rub his arm to bring some warmth back into it, but stubbornly the feeling stayed, like tiny pinpricks, like icicles stinging every pore, every nerve top to bottom. He ruined it. That was it. Any attempt he made today wouldn't even matter because Sousuke wouldn't even want to look at him face to face.

He didn't answer the first question, knowing there was nothing he could have said to make himself seem less stupid, and, thankful for the space and barrier between them, he pressed his back to the wall with a dull thud and slowly smeared a hand down his face. God. He still had soap on his fingers. He probably didn't wash all the shampoo out either. He thought he was being more careful today.

At Sousuke's next words though, Rin peered up from behind his fingers and stared across from him at the opposite wall. The wooden furniture, the creases in the blankets, the golden light stretching farther and farther from the windowpane. What... was this feeling anyway? It didn't hurt anymore, he swore he couldn't feel a thing, but the memory of it was so jarring and sudden, phantom sensations still lingered and pounded against his ribs. What kind of feeling, what kind of feeling... Biting his lip, Rin gazed down towards his feet and the crystalline droplets beginning to bead and cling to the floor.

"I--" His voice was softer but strained. After all, that same sensation was starting to come back in short waves. Was Sousuke still feeling something right now? Probably just anger from being walked in on, right? Thinking it, he clenched a fist over his chest again and grit his teeth, hoping the pressure would help to relieve or divert this feeling elsewhere. "--I'm not sure." Not entirely a lie since he didn't know what stirred these emotions in the first place. Never mind that he was supposed to be an inherently good guesser.

"I'm still getting used to this whole thing... so it could just be nothing."

[takenwithhim]

Sousuke slowly began to unwind from the ball he’d curled into. First slouching down until he could sit again and then slowly sliding his legs out in front of him, the lapping water easing away from splashes into lazy ripples. Suds drifted along the surface in radiating rings away from his body spilled further as the swimmer began cupping water and splashing it up onto his body. All the while keeping his eyes on the doorway across from him. Admittedly it wasn’t the most scarring thing in the world; Rin and he were both guys and Sousuke didn’t feel self-conscious about his body. At least Rin had a good excuse for barging in, even if it sounded rather ludicrous at the moment. Only this strange world and his small experience in it made it so.

The silence from the other side of the door earned a silent scoff, but he supposed Rin had his reasons. It’d been a sarcastic, rhetorical question after all and what way could Rin answer without snapping or making things more awkward? Sousuke sighed and slapped water against his shoulder. Paused. And slowly traced his fingers over the emblazoned name decorating the curve of his shoulder. Che, no matter what happened, they were still together, weren’t they…

This was going to be one hell of a day already. Looking back at the door, Sousuke noticed the suds clinging to the frame and his face flattened again. Oh right, recalling what he’d looked like, Rin had been soapy hadn’t he? What an amazing god he was. Amazed he hadn’t heard him slip somewhere out there and go thudding around on the floor. Ducking his head, he plunged it under the water and scrubbed at his hair a few times, getting water on his back and washing that off while he was at it. Then came back up for air.

Dripping and echoing in the tub, he reached for the shampoo and popped the cap with a flick of his thumb. He heard the strain in Rin’s voice, heard the softer admittance. Not sure, huh. Sousuke highly doubted it was nothing, considering he’d just felt definitely a very obvious something and Rin came running in like an idiot going on about “feeling” something. But without proof, and without drive, he let the topic drop. No point in upsetting the other boy any more than he already was. And really, Rin was new and adjusting as much as Sousuke.

“It’s fine.” Don’t worry about it; they had other things to deal with for the day. Probably get in another argument or something again. He poured a swirl of lather in his hand and capped the bottle again with a flip of his index finger and a snap of plastic. A few moments of silence and he slapped his hand against the top of his head, working the slick liquid into his hair. “Oy, the sink’s in here. You’re still covered in soap aren’t you.” Sinking a little in the tub, he leaned back, grabbed the curtain, and with a yank, pulled it shut, covering the bathing area in a swath of… translucent, maroon and gold sheer. Whatever.

“At least rinse off before you slip and knock yourself out.”

[sharkmaid]

Judging by the noises calming down from the other side, Rin guessed that Sousuke was more or less over the initial shock, but still, that didn't mean the situation was over and forgotten. For all he knew, Sousuke was glaring in his general direction and contemplating throwing something at him for being so careless. But when nothing happened and all he heard were gentle splashes and the soft click of plastic, he relaxed a bit and turned his attention back over his shoulder, staring at the doorway but nothing much else. Oh. So... maybe he was going back to what he was doing before. Of course he didn't want to just check though. Just because he was his god, that didn't mean he could be free to do whatever he wanted.

Rin was already considering gathering himself up and leaving the room when gradually, very gradually, the added pressure in his chest began to alleviate and he let out a slow, quiet sigh. All right. That was subsiding. He didn't have to worry about it getting in the way again, assuming they could get through the day without another mishap (likely as not). New and adjusting... He had to keep reminding himself that both of them were still inexperienced, and even if Rin had all his memories intact, this wasn't going to be any easier for himself, especially if he continued to panic like this.

"Huh?" Another glance over his shoulder and at the sound of a curtain being pulled he finally felt confident enough to push his weight forward and slowly peek around the corner. Oh. He was-- W-wait a second. "I'm not covered in soap," he grumbled... just as a small glob of foam slipped from his elbow and fell to the tile below with a wet plop. ... Ok, so maybe he could have rinsed off a little more, but that was the last thing on his mind at the time! Tsk. Damn all this second guessing and rush of emotions he didn't know what to do with. They really didn't have anymore time for this. So after a minute to clear his head--and swipe away the soap from the floor--the sound of wet footsteps mingled with the occasional splash from the tub, and Rin shuffled his way in to one of the sinks. It gave him the first chance to see how winded he looked after all that running, with hair sticking up and bubbles popping on his shoulders. Rin frowned before with a click of his tongue he turned the tap on to at least rinse off his arms.

... It really did hurt though. He thought it as he splashed warm water over his wrist and watched the foam swirl down the drain. Anger, frustration... jealousy? The latter didn't make any sense and it bothered him that he couldn't figure out why.

With hair falling back over his eyes, Rin stared at the water running over his fingers before finally breaking the silence between them. "Sousuke," he started, knowing it might be awkward to speak to each other like this while they were in a stupid bathroom, but not knowing what else to do. "I know there's things I can't tell you. And truthfully I still don't like that I can't. But... I want our relationship to be honest." That's how it was before. Can't it be that way now? "So even if there's limitations, I'm going to do everything I can to be open with you. ... I know you deserve at least that much."

[takenwithhim]

Oh he definitely wasn’t going to forget that. For one thing, he only had two days of memories in his head and everything was very easy to recall. For another… someone he barely knew just saw him completely naked. You didn’t forget something like that no matter how much you wanted to! Not that freaking out about it more would change anything. He calmed pretty easily, even if there was a bit of grudge bubbling around in the bath behind the sheer curtain. It really was tempting to throw the bar of soap at him… but considering Sousuke just invited Rin into the bathroom, that kind of sounded pretty stupid in his mind. He’d wait, maybe get some paybacks later. With a wound up towel and a quick snap…

Sousuke lifted his head, eyes looking wryly towards the wall in front of him. Even he heard that soft ‘plop’ of suds falling on the ground, practically mocking Rin for bothering to try escaping that. “Liar,” he murmured under his breath. Served him right. Especially if he was going to be grumpy about it. The sound of shuffling footsteps and the flap of a towel told him his invitation/suggestion had been taken. He kept his eyes forward as he leaned backwards and rested his upper back and shoulders against the tub wall again, head to the side of the ornately-sculpted faucet. The walls of the tub and the curtain at least muted any real detail that an accidental glance might have offered. Sousuke tilted his head forward and scrubbed at the back of his hair, fingers working into the shorter strands at his nape.

With only whispered licks of water and breathing to mask, of course he heard that soft click from his god. A soft huff of acknowledgement slipped out. Told you. Then the faucet turned on and sound blurred between them. Strange… with Rin here in the bathroom with him, it felt… His pulse calmed, breathing came easy, and everything simply felt okay. Muscles relaxed and a tranquil sensation wandered through his body, as if they hadn’t had some kind of weird meeting and break up yesterday and an accidental awkward reunion this morning. The ugly, heavy feeling of jealous and anxiety from early dissipated completely and Sousuke relaxed in the water, eyes closing as he lowered his hands and let his arms sink beneath the surface of the bath.

Long body stretched out and soaking up to his neck in the hot water, he closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the faucet. It drown out their breaths, drown out the fountain so faintly splashing somewhere in the castle, drown out any drips from his hair. It only left Rin’s presence in the same room as him. Kind of like how it felt last night when he finally fell asleep beside Rin’s bed.

Sousuke? Teal eyes opened slightly, gazing unseeing towards the suds-dusted water below. “Hm?” He wasn’t even aware he responded. It might’ve been awkward, if he weren’t so zoned right now nothing really seemed to matter. Though as the words spilled out, Sousuke came back from that daze as his mind focused on the confession. So Rin was frustrated… they both were, over the same thing. He frowned a little at the idea of their relationship being “honest” and Rin doing everything he could to be “open” with him. Yeah, it sounded nice to have someone say it, but it also sounded way too trusting. Ironically, it made Sousuke feel half-doubtful of the sincerity. Only half though…

“We just met, Rin. You really think you can be so open to someone so suddenly?” Yes, Rin could say that, but did he think it was going to be that easy? They were god and shinki, master and servant, wielder and weapon for all he knew. And Sousuke wasn’t at all planning on opening up to Rin right off the bat. He didn’t need some gushing piecrust promises: easily made, easily broken.

[sharkmaid]

Rin couldn't be positive--the feeling was too faint to tell--but with the pain gone he thought he could feel something shifting in his heart the longer he stood here in front of the sink. Sousuke was calmer and his mental state was returning to how it was before Rin practically barreled in to disturb him. Whether that was because of his bath or not, he wasn't sure, but he was thankful for it for both their sakes. Geez... if it was going to be like this for however long they were together, then they needed to learn how to adapt and sort through it sooner than he anticipated. Rin didn't want to reach the point where his own pain would gradually and potentially end up harming Sousuke too.

Which is why he knew they had to be honest and open. Maybe not right away, but as soon as they could. ... Hearing Sousuke respond to that though--

After shutting the water off, Rin propped both hands on the edge of the counter and gripped, eyes focused towards the faucet and nothing much else. Of course he'd say that. Of course he'd be cautious and suspecting, doubtful. But all the same, it aggravated him, and he felt his stomach twist in response. It was too easy to submit to his feelings as Rin, the person who grew up with and understood Sousuke better than anyone else. He wanted to tell him how ridiculous it would be to treat each other any differently. He wanted him to just accept that this was how they always were. Of course he'd be open to him. He was Sousuke. Why couldn't he admit that?

After a few silent beats, Rin loosened his fingers from the counter and lifted his head enough to glance at his reflection in the mirror ahead. He didn't want to be anything less or more than what he was. But for things like this, he didn't have a choice.

"You aren't just someone, Sousuke." He straightened, one hand swiping his hair back again, and after double checking in the glass to make sure the curtain was still drawn behind him, he undid the towel at his waist, letting it fall into his hands so he could start ruffling and properly drying his hair. "Before anything else, you're a human. I never planned on taking any rights or freedom from you. That includes telling you the truth." He slipped the towel away from his head and gave it a shake to straight out some of the strands in the back. "I'm not saying you owe me anything like that right now. ... But if you and I are going to survive here, we need to work together."

Tossing the towel over his shoulder, Rin turned and began to head back towards the door. "It's going to be my responsibility to see that turn to reality."

[takenwithhim]

He thought Rin’d say something like that. Without knowing him, or even himself, that quiet defiance that denied him the shield of caution Sousuke lifted between them came to his ears. There was no surprise, no anger (some irritation though), only a strange sense of reluctant acceptance. He wasn’t going to win this little battle between them was he. Silence curled around him as easily as the heat rising from the bathwater. Holding his tongue while Rin said the rest of his stance wasn’t difficult. But listening to his words, however, pricked at him in multiple ways. This guy knew nothing about him! … (Though if he were honest with himself, Sousuke was starting to doubt that statement the more times he said it to himself.)

It bothered him. To think that Rin knew about him, about them, and Sousuke alone was unable to remember. He knew he couldn’t remember anything, but he also knew he’d died. So he must have been alive before his death and obviously that life must’ve had something in it. Many somethings that he’d lost. Even… someone’s. His stomach twisted and a rush of nausea swarmed through his body. It felt like a hole began clawing itself open in the middle of his chest, threatening him with a cold feeling of dread reaching over his shoulders. It would consume him…

Instinctive self-preservation, revulsion, even fear, flooded his body and he shoved everything out of his mind. Focused on counting the tiles on the wall beside him. The marble looked nice, didn’t it? So white and streaked with those fading veins of blue gray. Yes, it was as Rin said. He was a shinki, he knew that now, but he was also a human. Before anything else. The sound of fabric scraping against fabric and dragging over skin told him he should probably keep his eyes away from the curtain.

“Hn. You really are a romantic, aren’t you,” Sousuke murmured. Such firm, determined words, reminding him of his own humanity and the agreement he’d made yesterday. I’ll stay. Of course Sousuke remembered it. But hearing Rin talk like that, telling him they had to work together, brought it into stark reality. Solidifying the mist into a pool of clear water. His rights… his freedom. As much as he doubted some of what the young god said, it was hard to cast shadow on that. Even if Rin couldn’t tell him some things, he was professing the truth wasn’t he. The sound of the towel flipping over his shoulder and slapping to his back heralded those steps turning towards the door.

“I made you a promise, Rin.” To stay with him, no matter what happened. Those two simple words—I’ll stay.—meant so much more than that. With those words, he signed something between them willingly. Fights, struggles, laughter, abuse, lies, truths, discomfort, conversations, challenges, gods, monsters, shinki… All of that and more composed “no matter what,” didn’t it.

At the very least... “I won’t forget that.”

[sharkmaid]

In the past twenty for hours, Rin still hadn't figured out what was going through Sousuke's mind. Despite being devoid of memories, he wasn't empty, and surely all of this would spur on more than a few curious questions and doubts. About the world, about himself, about Rin. It was easy to forget that was the case, and already he felt himself about to slip up. If not for these gut-wrenching feelings, he was sure he would have already. Telling Sousuke to trust him, to believe in him, because they knew each other and no one else would be able to achieve that. Of course even briefly considering caused his heart more pain and just before stepping out of the bathroom he paused to reach out and hold onto the wall to steady himself.

Great... now they were both feeling this way, and combined, the emotions left him feeling repulsed and even a little nauseous. Stop thinking about whatever you're thinking about, Sousuke. I can't take it, not yet.

Despite that, he managed a crooked smile at Sousuke's words and let out an amused scoff. Romantic. Funny. He didn't remember him, but he was learning bit by bit, even two days in. Ok. Maybe this time he'd accept that, if only because it brought him an odd sense of comfort in its familiarity. Somehow, even reminding himself of something so embarrassing lessened the pain. But it wasn't until Sousuke brought up that promise of his that Rin felt he could finally hold himself upright again and with a slight push he eased away from the wall and laughed towards his feet. Right. He was going to stay.

"I won't make you regret it." He walked out on that note, leaving Sousuke to continue alone. "Meet me out in the hallway when you're ready."