thenearshore | A fox that gains our trust but then breaks it as he walks

Entry tags:

A fox that gains our trust but then breaks it as he walks

Who: Sanae and Lu Meng
What: Aftermath of this thread
Where: Sanae's temple grounds
When: Backdated to May 6th
Warnings: Blood

[Lu Meng doesn't let down his barrier, doesn't dare to even look away as the creature slinks off into the darkness. His hand remains stretched out to form the protective wall, and the other wraps around Sanae's shoulders, trying to keep her upright.]

Lady Kochiya. [His tone is tense but calm; the last thing he wants to do now is panic, or cause her to panic instead.] I don't know if that thing is gone. Till then I can't let down this barrier. Can you heal yourself? Otherwise, I'll need to send out a call for help.

[A call for healing...and a call to hunt down that cursed creature. His anger continues to boil inside him, but it's far eclipsed by his concern for her. She's lost so much blood, her skin sticky under his touch as he tries to stem the blood flow with his already soaked handkerchief. Gods can die, right? Of course she could reincarnate and return, but Lu Meng didn't want to rely on chance. She could also be one of those who perish and never return.]

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[ He hasn't pushed her away, and instead his arms have tightened around her. She feels frail in his strong arms, he's a reminder that she has much to learn, and that she isn't strong, at least not as strong as she thought she'd be on her own. She needs him here, she has no one else she's as close to in this world. ] Y-yes...

[ Yes to the scoldings. Yes to everything. She doesn't care if he will stay. If she has another chance to make up for this. ] This was... my fault. All my fault. [ And he should know that it is, no excuses. It was she that didn't call him to help, it was she that didn't tell him about the blight. ] S-so... Let me hear everything you have to say. You're my exemplar, you have that right.

[ After another sob, she pulls slightly away from him so she can look up at his face, puffy eyed and with tears streaming down her cheeks. Still, she manages a smile. It's not forced at all, but something between being apologetic and relieved. ] An-and... just promise me, that you'll let me know if there's anything you need from this.

I said it before, that whatever you want or wish for... I'll give.

Better watch your words, my lady. You might regret giving me so much leeway to lecture you. [Somehow, it's getting easier to keep things light-hearted even as they're both grappling with their respective feelings of grief and shame. His anger is slowly dying away as well, though the hurt will remain awhile.]

All I want right now is for you to be well. [His arms shift so that he can lightly clasp her on her shoulders.] Turn around and let me take a proper look. When were the times I stung you? [He asks, concerned. He's trying very hard not to make this situation a big thing, trying his best to keep himself calm and not spread the blight further. But she'll still be able to feel his remorse through their connection. ]

[ With the calmer mood, she's able to reconcile some of her own distress into something tamer. So when she speaks next, her tone is steadier. ]

You've o-only done so three times. [ She's felt his guilt and remorse, and felt it strongly from how he's blighted her. But it's only happened three times. ] Today, and.... do you remember when we first met? I had just embraced you when you weren't ready, and you had pushed me off. [ Thinking back to that, how shrill and stiff he had been with a hug-- she should have asked first. But he's changed a lot since then. They even made their own handshake, and he even has his hands on her shoulders right now to comfort her! ] I'm... not quite sure what you were feeling back then, but it caused a sharp sting.

The next time, it was shortly after we first met, when we were trying to solve that prayer for the young man looking for a job. I had dismissed you, and when I did... [ Well, he knows.

She turns around for him, beginning to undo her kimono and loosening the top. The blood-soaked silk slips off of her shoulders luxuriously, but she doesn't let the fabric fall too far off of her. Keeping it close to her chest means that the silk dips lower in the back, allowing him to see the extent of the blight. To help with her hair, she uses an extra pin to keep those wavy strands off her back so that he may see.

She doesn't need to see it herself to feel how it's grown with this third and final sting, as she feels it dipping below her neck and between her shoulder blades like a tail. ] How does it look? D-does it look bad? [ She asks worriedly, looking over her shoulder.

[Ah, yes. Their first meeting hadn't gone off too well, had it? And then the time when he'd overstepped his boundaries and treated Sanae more like a young woman under his tutelage and over-rode her decision, rather than a god that he serves. Thinking back to those times causes him no little amount of discomfort and guilt, especially once he sees the ugly purple-black blotch on her skin.]

...I don't think it's severe. But it looks like you've been cursed with a terrible illness. [He tells her truthfully.] It must be painful. [He pulls out a new, clean piece of cloth and dips it in the water. There's still a bit of blood smeared under her neck and he gently begins to clean it off, running the cloth carefully over the affected area.] Does the water help?

[ Just as she asks, she winces from the contact of the holy water onto her blighted, purple tinged skin. A slow exhale hisses out from between clenched teeth, and and arm braces against the mattress of her bed. ] It's....--it's not terrible.

[ She eventually stammers. True, it hasn't been much of a bother. But now that it's being treated, the stinging rears its ugly head once again for the first few wipes of the cloth on her back. ] A-actually... it's starting to feel a little bit better.

[ She concentrates on capping her pain and reactions, if only to make him less guilty, quieting as he works. Slowly but surely, the blight is beginning to fade away as his remorse is known, as the holy water clears away the curse. ] ....I.... [ After a few extra, silent moments she swallows, biting her lip. Her eyes are trained on the floor, her brow knitting together. ] ....I should have told you sooner.

[ This could have been solved weeks ago. She wonders, in part, if his guilt is greater now that he's known her better. Now that they've become closer, shared meals under cherry blossoms and screens in the arcade. ] You... deserve better from me, as your friend.

[ "Friends don't let other friends worry" is what she would apply to herself. But she realizes that if he thought the same, she would reply that "Friends have a right to worry for other friends." She wouldn't want to be carefree and happy, to laugh and smile, knowing that he was in pain.

Ah, the holy water feels crisp cold as the excess drips down her back... ]

It wouldn't sting as much if you'd told me a lot earlier. [A slight grumble, a return to some normalcy.]

But I understand why you did it. If there were some way to lighten your burden, I'd have kept my silence as well. [She should know, better than anyone else how willing he is to hide his pain from others if it's for the greater good. It's how he died, after all. But the big difference between his choice back then and her choice now is that someone had to do the dirty work. Better for him to plunge his hands into muck and blood, than tar someone else's honor. Better for him to be there than risk a drop in troop morale.

He had full confidence that his student could take over his duties and perform even better than he ever could. If his life was given up to the cause, then so be it. Is it hypocritical? Perhaps. But the Lu Meng of the past and the present one tending to her wound are both practical men, and he sees no reasonable justification for her to have hidden this fact from him for so long.

He's relieved though. The blight really is fading, so he continues to run the water over her skin, careful not to press too hard in case that increases the sting. And since she looks like she's getting better, he's going to start nagging her!]

But you are a god. You have people praying to you, asking for your guidance and help. They're putting their faith in you and asking for your miracles to light their way. What happens if you are unwell and unable to respond?

You are needed. You cannot afford to endanger yourself the way you have. Do you understand, my lady? [More stern and gruff than angry, Lu Meng catches the stream of water that was trickling down her back before it can drip onto the cloth that binds her chest. There's a pause, and suddenly a flush of painfully awkward emotions from him at knowing what purpose that garment serves, but he swallows his discomfort and continues as normal.]

[ Perhaps it's because she's tired, she's sorrowful, or that her pride has been beaten down, but she doesn't mind that he's seeing the sarashi wrapped around her chest. Her mind is too preoccupied with other things to bother with concealing that undergarment or more skin, and besides, he's only seeing this because he's cleaning the blight away.

Still, she shivers because without the silk of her kimono and with the water cooling her back, it's colder. Sanae closes her eyes, keeping the stutter out of her voice. ] I... yes. I understand. [ She is needed by her followers. She must make decisions to keep herself safe in order to better serve them.

And that doesn't mean hiding her blight or afflictions or any injuries. It means that addressing them properly and swiftly, because that would be the fastest route to recovery, not letting them prolong and fester. It also means that-- ] I... I can't do things alone.

[ She says at last, and now her tone shakes, defeated because she's finally admitting that she is only one person. One person despite being a god. A young woman no more than twenty one. ] I need your help and-- a-and guidance.

[ Her eyes, still shut, and squeezed tightly. She feels a new dampness trail down the side of her cheek, and she chokes. The blight is almost gone. Her skin no longer hurts, but her heart begins to weep, letting her insecurities show. ] Does... does it not disappoint you, that I am not more capable on my own? [ Would it disappoint Kanako? Suwako? Only they can truly answer that themselves, but Sanae seems to be placing this burden upon herself, that they would indeed believe so. ] That I've... failed to protect myself, from this happening?

[He's just about to wipe off the last of the blight when her shoulders shudder, a sob slipping out from her shame and sadness, He's startled, the cloth quickly pulled away in fear that he'd hurt her; he'd thought she had been calming down, but something has opened up a wound somewhere. And when she opens her heart to share another insecurity, understanding dawns upon him.]

You are the last person I'd consider incapable.

[She'll feel the cold wetness return to her neck one last time, clearing off the last bit of discoloration. A towel is set upon her shoulders to dry the wet skin, and give her some warmth around her exposed shoulders.]

I'm disappointed that you not only allowed yourself to be put in such danger, but that you also tried to keep it a secret from me. [His tone is slightly scolding, but it's nothing overly stern or harsh. He's drying her shoulders and back carefully.] But you thought you were confronting a friend. You trusted him, and offered your blood to help. While I disagree with that course of action, it was carried out with the same kind and caring heart that I know beats within you. That same heart that I'm proud of you for having, and that makes me proud to serve you as well.

I know that you take your godhood seriously, and I am glad for that. But please remember that you are also still a young woman, learning the ropes. There are many stories of godly mishaps when a god is in his or her youth, and I'm sure that should this sort of incident appear again, you will know better how to proceed.

[ She feels like a child, for not telling him sooner. A better person would have known how to solve this situation, or better yet-- prevent it from happening at all. Sanae has standards she's posted for herself that are, quite frankly, unreachable. But here he is, pointing out that she's still young. That mistakes can be made, and that she can still learn from them.

She has to accept that she is not strong, at least not as strong as she'd like to be. So in order to be strong, she has to depend on others to make up for her faults. Where one fails, two together can succeed, and that is where Lu Meng comes in.

Her sobs continue for a few moments more as he wipes away the last of her blight, but her tears are only because it's difficult to stop once she's started. ] M--mm. [ She nods slowly when she gains a hold on her voice, preventing it from shaking further. ] I... promise. I promise that I'll be more open with you.

[ She realizes that she has a lot more to be open with him about, too. But those topics are for another day. Sanae turns slightly, looking over her shoulder. ] Okay?

[Annnnddd headpat! Because hugs are still a work-in-progress. But headpats. Headpats he can do and he does feel that he needs to do something to comfort her. Hearing her sobbing her heart out like this pulls at his heart painfully.]

Thank you. That's all I wanted to hear. [The hurt will remain for awhile yet, but her promise has already soothed the deeper cracks in them, as well as a huge sense of relief that from now on, hopefully there won't be anymore incidences like this happening again. He pulls out the last clean cloth he'd had on him, and after wetting that, uses it to wipe off her tears.]

Everything will be alright, my lady. We'll both learn from this and move on.

However. There is one more act that will lead to your atonement. [He suddenly announces, rather forebodingly.]

You are banned from video games and pocky for one week. No ifs, ands or buts.

[ It would be so natural to protest. In fact, a small "But..!" escapes her in a gasp when he issues the new rule.

Sanae stops herself, and instead nods, smiling. She doesn't need to wipe away her tears because he's done so already. And she hopes that she will be able to fully mend whatever damage she's done here. ] That's a... fair punishment.

[ She says, but it's not without a laugh. ] One whole week? Will I have to spend the entire time tending to the bunnies out back?

You will spend one week studying the Classics with me. [And by Classics, he means all those ancient books extolling Confucianism. All very dry...and all very boring. He may also get her to read some of those ancient war manuals; the bits about leadership will do her good.]

Mouuuu.... [ She exhales, frowning. That's much worse than any boring board game. That's reading book-books. Like the scrolls she had to study for her training as a priestess! ] I don't think I could get through even one classic in a week!

Then I'll be sure to work you hard this week. [He was already nice enough to give her only one week's worth of a ban!

That aside though... there's something else they both have to look into.]

My lady. That friend of yours...what do you want to do with him?

Edited 2016-11-12 06:43 (UTC)

[ ...Aaaand they're back on the serious topic. Giving him her full attention, she moves to the side to that she's properly facing him. He'll have to bear with the bit of extra skin she's showing, as she won't be reapplying her kimono about her top all the way. It's still soaked, covered in blood. The fabric covers a decent amount of her, but the silk is draped loosely off her shoulders. ]

...We have to help him. [ She says. ] Zero-- he's not normally like that, at all. This part of him is like a corrupted, other self. He's a vampire, and he needs to feed. If we can sate his anger somehow, the real Zero can be brought back.

Edited 2016-11-12 06:49 (UTC)

And how much blood will sate him?

[Somehow he's not surprised she's already jumped back to helping that man even after all that he's done to her. She's just that kind.

Thankfully in this case, her shinky offers a more practical, if colder view point to this. He wants her to think this through properly this time]

Edited 2016-11-12 07:01 (UTC)

I don't know. [ She answers honestly, lowering her gaze, and she appears a bit uncomfortable. ] There's a part of me that believes he might be too far gone already, because he didn't stop. Vampires-- or at least the ones in my world-- are smarter than that. They don't often try to kill who they feed off of, especially if there is one to give blood willingly. [ It's their source of energy and life, after all. ]

He seemed so unlike himself, almost like--... a creature. [ She says, her hand gripping her arm tightly. She appears ashamed and guilt-ridden; when he was feeding off of her, she had thought him less than her. Simply another youkai to be exterminated. For a moment she seems lost in her thoughts, but then she looks back up at Lu Meng. ] If we can't give enough blood, then we have to contain him somehow.

What will do after that? He will still need to feed. Is there anything else we can substitute for his food instead of blood?

I don't know. [ He's got her there. ] I was thinking that I could find some way to undo the curse of a vampire, but I'm not entirely sure how.

...then you may have to do prepare yourself for his death. You know we cannot leave him as he is. If he attacks anyone else after this, they might not be as lucky.

[ She shouldn't be shocked, because as blunt as he is, it's the truth. ] --I won't let it come to that.

[ She says abruptly, leaning forward. ] I won't let a friend die!

[ This is her stubbornness speaking again. Her want to do everything perfectly and right. Her want to save everyone. ]

If we cannot bring him back from this insanity, then the Zero you know is already dead. [It's cold...but it's the truth.]

Would he want to live this way?

[ She stares at him in disbelief. How can he be so cold? How can he be so uncaring--?!

But she knows that that isn't the case. Or really, he does care to some degree, if only for how this effects her. But he's always had a practical, truthful approach to all scenarios, even the worst case one. ] He--.... wouldn't... [ She's met Zero only a few times, but the one she's come to know hates blood.

Her voice shakes again. ] ...Oh, Lu Meng, how did it come to this? Will I r-really have to... end him?

[His hand goes to her shoulder (~~bare! shoulder!!~~) to give her a reassuring squeeze. The cold practicality he'd exuded melts somewhat, but his voice is no less firm.]

It is an option. An unpleasant one, and we can't pursue it lightly. But we cannot strike it out either. Our inaction could lead to another victim, and we must avoid that at all costs.

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