thenearshore | find me a find, catch me a catch (closed)

Entry tags:

find me a find, catch me a catch (closed)

Who: Cho Hakkai and Kozukata Yuri
What: Hakkai discovers he has a new goddess. Maybe the fourth time's the charm?
Where: Yuri's temple
When: Morning, June 12th
Warnings: Mention of suicide/self-destructive tendencies.

[Hakkai rarely sleeps in, but for once, he finds himself floating slowly back to consciousness well after dawn. His half-open eyes register, blurrily, filtered sunlight lighting the room. The bed is soft, and he rolls over, tugging a sheet up over his shoulders.

The bed is very soft. Springs creak softly in the mattress as he moves, and alarm filters slowly down through his sleepy thoughts. He had not gone to sleep in a bed with a mattress, after all. He'd gone to sleep on a futon in the spare room at the school. It had not been nearly so comfortable, and the window was in the wrong place, and --

Like a fuse burning down to the charge, the alarm finally hits him and he is propelled violently to his feet, fists clenching as he stares around the room. He'd thought he had time. He had thought a few days without a god wouldn't be too much, when some shinki had gone much longer than that. He had been wrong, he admits bitterly, and looks down at his hands. The only markings there are his vines, winding up his wrists in a green so dark that it's almost black to disappear under the soft long-sleeved T-shirt he'd worn to bed in an entirely different place last night. There isn't a mirror in the room. If he wants to find his new name, he's going to have to leave it, and face his new god.

Who is his new god? Hakkai rubs the back of his hand over his left eye, brushing away the grittiness of sleep, and blinks against the blurriness left behind for a few seconds. He doesn't really want to know. He doesn't recognize the bedroom, but he hasn't seen the inside of many temples, either. After a second of indecision, he closes his eyes, opens them again, and walks over to the window, looking out onto the temple grounds.

A rotting noose hangs from a tree not ten paces outside the window.

This is Yuri's temple.

Panic surges back up to close icy hands around his throat, and he stumbles back until one leg hits the bed and he sits down hard. No. He doesn't want to lose another god. He doesn't want to lose another friend. If he's a curse -- and he is a curse, isn't he? The certainty, owing less to logic than he wishes it did, sickens him -- then there are gods who can handle themselves, and gods whose loss he won't mourn, and he doesn't care about going without if he has no other choice. But not her. He checks his hands again, as though a name could have appeared without his noticing, and then looks again out the window.

There's a faint image of his face reflected there, almost invisible, but enough to pick out a tracery of red down the right side of his face, across the lid of his false eye, curling around the end of the vine on his cheek. There's no doubting it: he has a new goddess.

Cold and faint, Hakkai closes his eyes again, and leans on the windowsill as he fights to pull himself back under control.]

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[Hakkai would be hardpressed to find a mirror at all in the temple, the few there are usually covered up in some way. The one in Yuri's room, attached to her vanity, is firmly covered with a sheet, removed only if and when she goes about applying make-up; and sometimes, like today, the sheet manages to slide off and expose the glass.

It's one of the first signs that something is very off about this day, if the nightmare she'd woken from hadn't been enough. A nightmare--about Hakkai? That's what she'd wanted to believe, but there was a terrible gut feeling when she woke with a start that it wasn't just that. It was never that simple.

She can feel he's there and knows the panic that flickers up isn't her own. Alright, so he's awake and aware too, but-- But if he's here and apparently, suddenly, her shinki now without her naming him herself, then that meant Ukoku was...

Yuri closes her eyes a moment against the unexpected wave of disappointment. It's not surprising, she's not at all surprised that Ukoku might have disappeared or been taken out by the Heavens or whatever happened to disappeared gods, it's exactly the direction she suspected things would go, eventually, but...

The feelings get pushed aside--it's useless to dwell on when she can't even shed a tear (and how irritating is that, too?), especially when there's something more important to worry about in the here and now that she could actually do something about. Propelled by that thought, she rolls out of bed, half-stumbling out the door towards the room she knows he's in

The rest of how she was going to confront this hadn't really occurred to her, a thought that rears its head when she stands at the door, fingers curled around the handle. (Ruefully she thinks she should've at least changed out of pajamas, but at least t's just shorts a t-shirt or else this could'e gotten weird). She should knock, at least, or something, but after a moment she opens the door anyhow.

--Ah. So there he was. Somehow seeing him in the room that's now clearly his own makes everything more real. Ukoku is gone, and he's her shinki now. Her hand drops to her side and Yuri realizes she's come completely unprepared with anything to say here.

She looks at Hakkai for a long moment and then away, collecting her own thoughts; her hand reaches out to curl around the door handle again with a quiet sigh.]

I should've brought coffee before I came; I didn't think it through. [Yuri glances to him, musing thoughtfully] I suppose I should say something like... 'Welcome home'...?

Edited 2017-02-07 02:11 (UTC)

[The door opens, and Hakkai whirls around from the window. 'Welcome home' -- panic surges up in him, choking and hot, and he knows she must feel it too as he stares wild-eyed at her reserved expression.

No. His voice is stretched thin with the effort of keeping it level.]

Yuri, you have to let me go.

[He can't do this. He'll find someone else. Inflict himself on someone else. When he asks them first, at least he can tell himself that they understood; it's not, of course, a comfort, but it's something he can think to patch over the guilt.

And he can't think about his guilt right now; his hand flies up to the back of his neck, as if he can feel blight. There is no mirror in the room. He doesn't know if he's already stung her with his fear and anger, or only roused her from her bed with them.]

What? [She looks at him sharply, mouth turned down in a frown. If he really wants her to, she's not going to force him to stay, but there's a lot to think about there before making a decision like that.

Her eyes close and she takes a breath, wishing the transfer of emotions went both ways; he could certainly use her unnatural calm right now.]

Calm down. I'm not releasing you until we can talk about this, but a lightning bolt isn't going to come down from the sky and strike me down where I stand here if we just wait a little bit and think about it. You wouldn't be sent to me just for that to happen right away.

[Yuri eyes him as he touches his neck, and she mirrors him. She can guess what he's worried about.] I'm fine. [There's a 'for now' implication there. 'I'm fine unless you don't calm down a little.'

Normally she might've eased into this a bit more, but she's going on maybe 3 hours of sleep now and she hasn't had coffee and in the face of everything else his panic only irritates her. Another breath. Not that she can't understand why after a moment of thought, not when she's one in a long list of gods he's been stuck with. And given what's happened to each one...

No, she can't get aggravated when she can think about it and understand, but...]

It's not a lightning bolt I'm afraid of, Yuri!

[The tension of his voice snaps into a ragged shout, and he presses his hand against his face, half-covering the name there. He doesn't know what he's been named, yet, with the reflection in the window too feeble to guess at the word's shape. It doesn't matter. It can't be as apt as Ukoku's name for him, in any case.

Bitterly, he adds:]

I'm a curse. Do you want the chance to tell me it doesn't matter too?

[Gojyo had waved off all of the reasons why Hakkai was a terrible shinki to have. Ukoku had laughed. Ukoku had not quite lasted out two weeks, he thinks, and closes his eyes as he tries to force down his roiling emotions before they do rise to the point of hurting her. He's bound to, eventually, but perhaps he can hold it back before he's even been her shinki for an hour.

Eyes still closed, he starts the list, raising one finger for each point.]

-- I'll sting you. I'm known to have rebelled against the Heavens. I can't promise I won't again, as a matter of fact. I won't tell you I have a bad personality, because you know, but the old gods don't trust youkai.

[She jerks in alarm at the shout-- had she ever heard Hakkai raise his voice before? The thought of 'ah, this is serious,' goes through her head and suddenly she feels a little ashamed for her blase reaction. Not that it isn't genuine, though it's less because she doesn't think Hakkai's bad luck or anything (she doesn't think that anyhow, but that's not the point here), but more because she doesn't care so much about herself for it to bother her.

Surely she's supposed to argue these things, or something, but Yuri just blinks slowly and gives a thoughtful little hum of acknowledgment to his points]

Well, it's not like anything you say isn't true, probably. [Thanks, Yuri.] But I still don't think you're thinking about this the right way. I'm pretty sure the Heavens don't even know I exist except in the vaguest sense. Unlike your other gods, I haven't done anything to stand out. [Her close association with Ukoku and Gojyo aside.] I haven't actively tried to rebel against them. As it is, this placement was probably random or maybe they thought I'd be a calming presence or good influence for you.

With that in mind... Wouldn't it be more dangerous to let you go? If the Heavens assigned you to me on their own, they're probably watching to see the outcome. If I release you right away, it might look more suspicious.

And also... Hmm. How do I say this... [She crosses her arms over her chest and shifts her weight, tapping thoughtfully at her bottom lip. It's not exactly something she talks about often, but if he's her shinki for now, it's probably something she should bring up. With Neji it's different, but Hakkai had been someone she considered a friend first before he became "her shinki" and so it was a little-- easier, maybe, to say these things. Not much easier, but--]

It's not to say "it doesn't matter" so much as "I don't really care about that." I don't care enough about those things for it to bother me. [What goes unsaid is the 'I don't care enough about myself' part of that."] Sorry. Would you rather it did? [She has a feeling he might have preferred she cared about herself a little bit more in this situation, but well.....] Maybe that's another reason why they chose to stick you with me... Someone like Gojyo probably told you it didn't matter because he knew you anyhow and he'd test and push it to prove you wrong. It wouldn't matter to Ni because he probably just looked at it like a game or an experiment and would want to test and see if it's true.

But me... I don't have any interest in things like that. It's probably true. But I don't really care.

[She trails off, not sure if she's making much sense in her musing out loud here. She's tired, so sue her.] If you're suicide to the gods, that really makes me the best choice then, doesn't it?

Why stand out by keeping me? [He makes a small sound, a laugh as described to a man who had never heard laughter, in the back of his throat, and slumps back against the wall. One arm tightens over his belly to catch his opposite elbow.

She's absolutely right about Ni, of course, but that hadn't been how it'd gone with Gojyo at all. No, he'd been exasperated that Hakkai was even trying to be practical about it, and only argued the idea that Hakkai would need a god at all....

The memory hurts as unexpectedly as a glass splinter shifting under his skin, and he tosses her a veiled, guilty glance, wondering if she'd felt that, too.]

I don't expect you to be afraid. [The anger has drained out of his voice, leaving it dull and tired. He doesn't, after all. She's never been afraid just because her own existence was in danger, not as long as he's known her, and he can understand that.

He doesn't fear his own death, either. And yet.]

... But I don't want to see you disappear, either.

[He's holding too still, slumped against the wall with his arm over his body and his knuckles pale with tension, as he forces his panic and anger to ebb. It leaves behind enough space in his mind to start piecing together logic. He can't stop her from disappearing, whether he's her shinki or not; he's been here long enough to know that there's no warning, there's no pattern he can identify, not even a person he can suspect. Not yet.

Selfishly, he doesn't want to let himself feel like the cause, but if he waits, who knows what god he'll find himself with next? Yuri's right. There's no way for him to know who assigned him to her. Losing this name won't protect her, because nothing can protect any of them.]

Oh. [A surprised, albeit pleased, sound at the confession. It wasn't like she hadn't suspected that as a reason--that he didn't want her to disappear-- but hearing it said out loud was a little... embarrassing? Pleasantly so, but embarrassing nonetheless between two people who valued actions over words. She tucks a messy bit of hair behind her ear and shifts her weight, resting one hand on her hip as she watches--and feels--Hakkai wrestle with his emotions. Her abilities already tuned her into people's emotions, the god-shinki link just took it a step further, so she waits, patiently, until she feels Hakkai's come to a similar conclusion as herself.

It's a bit refreshing to have a friend--shinki or otherwise--she felt she resonated well with. Things were much better with neji now, but Yuri still couldn't be sure some times what he was thinking or where a conversation was going, but her and Hakkai seemed to be on similar wavelengths more often than not. It reminded her too of Ukoku and she wonders if the two had gotten along well. She finds she doesn't really want to ask or hear it, though, not yet. Maybe not ever.

She tilts her head and watches him quietly another moment before speaking; it's all conclusions she suspects he's come to himself--he's smart as hell after all and practical--but saying it outloud solidifies it.] Well, I can't say I won't disappear, but that might happen regardless of if you're my shinki or not. This is the easiest way for both of us to keep an eye on each other, and I... would feel better having you at my side anyhow.

...Of course, I can't force you and I won't. But give it a little bit of time and if you still feel so strongly about being released I will. But who knows where you might end up next? [It's still relatively safer this way, but again she's not going to force him to stay attached to her if he doesn't want to.]

I'm afraid you're right. [He breathes out, not quite a sigh, and closes his eyes again for a few seconds before straightening up away from the wall.]

I would rather not hurt you, Yuri, but I'm -- still a shinki. I can't help that, it seems.

[Letting himself fall into guilt and despair would be very easy. The trouble, after all of this, is holding it off: but he's not ready to give up. It's a good reason for him to have a god. When he might be tempted to think of losing himself to blight as a relief instead of a threat, there is Yuri's health to think of, now, too. It's something to fall back on when his own pride isn't quite enough.]

There is one thing I want you to promise me, if I'm going to stay.

[There's one concern that's more practical than his worries about his feelings, and the poison they inflict on both himself and his goddess.]

If I'm found to be a traitor against the Heavens, for any reason, renounce me at once.

[He won't stop looking, and -- if he finds anything -- acting on it may be a suicide mission. That won't stop him. But he'd rather not bring her down with him when he goes.]

[Yuri watches him warily a moment, saying nothing but inclining her head for Hakkai to continue with whatever his demand is. She's sure it'll be reasonable, that she won't mind meeting it, but--

Her reluctance is clear from her body language alone, the way her gaze drops to the floor and then to the side, a frown twisting her mouth, but in the end she nods.] Yes, alright. [She glances back at him so he knows she isn't lying.] I promise. [Logically, she thinks, she can't continue her own search for answers if they're both dead, but the idea of throwing Hakkai off like that and pretending she has no further connection or something... It makes her stomach twist uneasily and leaves a bad taste in her mouth. But still, she'll agree and just hope the day she has to make good on it never comes.

Yuri sighs deeply and stifles a yawn now that she's coming down from the excitement of the morning.]

We should get that coffee now. If you're going to be my shinki, there's a few things I should tell you then if you plan on going on prayers with me, just to...prepare you, I guess. The personal ones I get, I mean. [Not the more general, open prayers that seem to go out to everyone. Yuri tilts her head, regarding him carefully]

Unless you'd like to take a few moments for yourself, first. [Which would be fine too. She's pretty sure she looks terrible having literally just rolled out of bed anyhow so.]

Coffee first, I think.

[He smooths his hair back with a hand, trying to tame the half-sticking-up bedhead into something more presentable. It doesn't budge.

He could address her discomfort with his request... but that won't make it easier, will it? If their positions were reversed, he isn't sure he'd be able to promise to abandon her if she were in fatal trouble. He hadn't been able to with Goku.

It's a deeply hypocritical thing to ask of her, he knows. But he still needs to know that he won't bring her down with him if he continues to hunt for answers.

His smile is faint, but it comes more easily, more realistically than the pained laugh had.]

My clean clothes are all at the school, anyway. I'll have to bring them over here later.

[So are his monocle, his books -- and Asshole, of course. Probably. He flinches.]

Yuri, am I the only new shinki you've gotten this morning? There was another with me at the school.

[Yuri makes a slight face--she had been sort of hoping for a chance to clean up and look more presentable, but she supposes it doesn't really matter. There's a chance he'll see her in worse conditions than this, but still. Save her womanly pride.]

Coffee it is. [She's about to turn away, but Hakkai's question gives her pause. She tries to think, but there's nothing that comes to mind] As far as I know you're the only one. [Another? Guy or Gojyo's 'nameless' shinki?] You can bring him here too, if you want. I don't mind. [It's not like she doesn't have the space, after all.]

If you don't mind, I'd like to.

[Yuri's an entirely different prospect from Ukoku, after all. Much safer.

Hakkai considers her faint grimace, and offers, helpfully:] I'm sorry, Yuri, if you'd like to take a few minutes I could make coffee...

Of course.

[His offer gets a little laugh out of her and she shakes her head] No, let me do it. Enjoy being taken care of at least a little before you're forced to actually act like my shinki. ["forced" she says. Her smile is faint, but teasing attempting to lighten the mood before their next heavy talk about being partnered with a suicide goddess.] I'm sure it's a terrible burden, if Neji's any indication. [Okay that's not fair, Neji just takes his role waaay too seriously]

Besides, it's too late. You've already seen me at my worst, I can't recover from this now.

Well, at least you weren't shouting.

[His smile is more in the rueful crinkle at the corner of his eyes than in any movement of his mouth. Forced, indeed. Well, he's seen her kitchen, and he plans to take it over if she and Neji will let him. It's much nicer than Ukoku's was, at least.]

I'm sure being your shinki can't be more of a burden than being my god, but we'll see, won't we?

Please, lead the way.

For all you know, I'm very high maintenance.

[Yeah nice joke. If he believes that even a little she has a bridge to sell him in Brooklyn.

But she leads the way quietly, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she goes and attempting to smooth her hair out. The kitchen isn't far, though the private rooms are on one side of the building and getting to the kitchen and living areas requires walking across the main room with its large holy water pool.

There's little signs that Neji must have been up and about before her, which isn't surprising since he's definitely the morning person between the two of them. But Yuri wastes no time in getting started, falling into an easy, graceful rhythm cultivated by the pattern she's been following for what felt like forever now. Even adding in another cup was second nature, though it wasn't Hisoka she was making coffee for anymore.

As she waits for it to brew and all, she leans back against the counter to watch Hakkai for a few moments, wondering how to start this conversation and if she should wait until there's actually coffee in them or... But, well, there's no better time like the present or whatever, right?]

...You know the types of prayers I get, don't you? And what answering them would mean. [It's not a question, really, and she knows he knows what the implications of her goddess nature means, but it's probably the best place to start before jumping into everything else]

[A large pool for ablution in the main room, Hakkai notes approvingly. That'll be convenient....

He pads as quietly after Yuri on bare feet, and settles into one of the kitchen chairs as she begins the practiced ritual of coffee-making. The cheery morning gurgle of the coffeemaker rumbles under her words as she speaks at last.

She's a goddess of suicide, after all. He meets her eyes, letting the silence stretch for a few more seconds before he replies.]

Is it mostly being there for them while they die?

[His tone is mild and thoughtful, but his heart clenches uncomfortably in his chest at the thought. He doesn't know if he can sit by and watch, or, worse, help. It had been... very hard seeing people try to kill themselves at the park, and not just because that was in part his own fault.

He seems to react to it, and it's for no reason he remembers, even now, with so much of his memory a patchwork of the last few years of his life.

He wonders how it would be, if those are, indeed, the kinds of prayers that Yuri answers.]

Yes. [She says it on a sigh, clasping her hands in front of her. She looks away from him and at her hands, expression distant.]

Most people don't really want to die, they hesitate, they second-guess. Which means they still want to live. Most change their minds and I'll have to call for help. Most just want to know someone's listening, that someone cares. Someone to talk to.

But... Some have made up their minds. I stay, so they don't have to die alone. [Yuri takes a deep breath and slowly exhales again, as if trying to shake off the horror of the confession here. Which is silly, because it's not even the worst part.]

I told you about some of my abilities before-- Being able to see someone's memories and things like that. There's...a little more to it than that. [It just wasn't relevant to bring up at the time] Ironically, this power was used by the priestesses that used to exist here I lived for just this purpose, helping suicides.

It's, uh. [How does she explain it? She supposes bluntly is well enough] I take on their pain, so they don't have to feel anything while they die. I take on the weight of their sins-- the sin of suicide or others--so their souls can freely move on to the Heavens.

[She watches him a moment to gauge a reaction at that]

[Hakkai watches her face as he explains, his own expression growing harder and harder to read. Discomfort roils just under the blank surface of his face, discomfort blended with a deep respect. Can he do this?

He doesn't know, and he's not used to not knowing. But he does know that her explanation still strikes a deep chord in him. To save those who want to be saved, to be there to ensure that those who don't want to be saved are at least not alone at the end: it matters.

At last, his gaze slips down, away from hers to focus on his own hands where he's folded them on the table.]

I've thought that even the new gods are chosen to suit their roles.

After you take on their pain and their sin, what happens to it? Do you continue bearing that weight?

[What he doesn't say: yes, I will help you, or no. He's not sure of his answer yet. It's a deeply meaningful task, yes, but he's not suited for every task he values. Is he suited for this one, or will he get in her way?

He'll... have to try it, he thinks, at least once before he can be sure.]

I suppose I understand this topic more than most. [Which is the subtlest way for her to say she's either contemplated or tried before herself.

It's a good question he asks, too, but not one she really knows the answer to.] Sometimes the pain lingers for a little while, depending on how they did it. As for the sins... I don't know. Back home, a priestess could only keep this up until their heart was 'full'-- I'm not sure what exactly that'd mean, but they'd be sacrificed afterwards. I guess I just keep it, or maybe it fades away after a while now that I'm a goddess and don't have to worry about really dying. [She pauses and makes a 'etc' sort of gesture that meant to mean "you know what I mean" because if anything this place has proven they can die, but. You know what she means.

Yuri watches him a moment and decides to throw a bone, more or less.] You don't have to be in there with me while they die or anything like that. You could wait outside or something, it's really just in case something happens or I... need a shoulder to lean on. [She runs a hand through her hair]

Of course, it's an uncomfortable thing to talk about let alone experience. So I'm not going to force you to go either. I don't even take Neji on every prayer. [A pause and she looks a fondly amused] Though maybe don't tell him that. [He might know already but acknowledging it out loud would be worse.]

Oh, I don't have a problem with death.

[She's trying to make it easier on him, isn't she? Hakkai unclasps his hands to dismiss the offer with a tiny flick of his fingers, glancing back up at her. He smiles faintly.]

Messy or clean. I'll be glad to accompany you.

[He's still not sure how well he'll be able to handle it, but he's not about to admit that. Not when he doesn't have a good reason why. Not when Yuri's standing there nobly offering to take all of the discomfort on herself, as well as the literal pain of each death.

He re-folds his hands, and adds:]

But I hope you don't expect me to go along with anything like a sacrifice. I think the coffee's done.

[She tilts her head as if to quietly ask, 'is that so?' but she'll accept it easily enough. After all, she doesn't have a reason to doubt him about that--he's never seemed the type to shy away from death, but she figured giving him an opportunity to back out was still the nice thing to do.

She turns away to finish with the coffee with an irritated little wave of her hand (she knew it was done thanks Hakkai sheesh!! Who do you think she is, an amateur??), but she's amused enough by the other comment to not dwell on it.] Your loyalty to me already is admirable.

It's not quite a death, anyhow. Maybe it's a bit worse. [She muses quietly, considering.] The priestess is put in a reliquary and sunk into the waters around the mountain. It was supposed to cleansed the water that was sacred to them and keep the yomi from being released and corrupting everything. They'd exist in a sort of... half-alive, half-dead state with the pain they've taken in until they couldn't take it anymore; when their will faltered, they'd be dissolved.

[Pleasant. She's building up to something here though, which is why she continues] But there were ways to make them stronger. Sometimes men would come to the mountain and choose a priestess they liked. Her spirit would return to the living world for a short time and, if she liked him, he'd join her in the reliquary. [Yuri turns and sets his cup on the table, sliding it to him with an amused, lightly teasing expression.]

You sure you don't want to help? [Ghost marry her, Hakkai, it's the thing to do. She slides into the seat opposite him, hiding a smile behind the rim of her cup; it's to hot for her to drink right away, but still.]

I don't think we've known each other long enough for a proposal, Yuri. [Amusement glints in his eye as he glances up at her, picking up his coffee cup and cradling it in his hands. The warmth seeps through to his fingers. It's not cold -- it's June -- but the feeling is still welcome, the faint heat still helping to settle the turmoil that's dragging at his heart.]

Ask me if you find a very nice reliquary. I'm high-maintenance.

[Which is not quite as much of a lie as Yuri's comment, although, at least, Hakkai does most of his maintenance all on his own.

He glances down at the coffee, and lifts it, sipping very carefully. It's still a little too hot to drink.]

But what an unpleasant fate. I suppose these Heavens are still better than some things.

[Her smile grows and she makes an amused huffing noise, shaking her head.] Ah, and here I thought our bond was special.

[There's a hum of not-quite-agreement.] I don't know. [She murmurs at length.] It's sort of... [Romantic, she almost says, but that's quite the word she wants to use anyhow. The idea of 'not dying alone' appeals to her more than anything, and after all hadn't she half a mind to follow Ouse into her reliquary to appease her loneliness?] Well, it doesn't really matter here, I suppose. The yomi doesn't exist here, as far as I know. We'll have to do without the sacrifices for now. [She knows you must be so terribly broken p about it, Hakkai.

Yuri shakes her head and carefully sips her own coffee-- her nose twitches and she closes her eyes briefly, a sign she's totally burned her tongue and is trying very hard not to make her blunder obvious. God damn it.]

[Her nose crinkles, just a little, and Hakkai politely doesn't snicker at her as she makes the burnt-tongue face. He puts his coffee back down to wait a few more seconds before he makes the same mistake.

Yomi, though... his expression darkens with memory, and he reaches out to sketch two characters on the table: yellow spring, Yomi, the name of the underworld.]

When you say "yomi," is it written like this?

If so, then it does exist here. There is -- or was -- an entrance to the south. There's no need to hold it back with sacrifices, though, at least not from what I saw.

[She sets her cup aside and focuses on what he's saying instead of how she's not going to be able to taste anything for the rest of the morning.] They share a kanji, but it's written like this. [She sketches out two characters herself-night spring.] It's more a... force, in and of itself, the opposite of misumi. [two more characters--御澄, misumi] Misumi was the pure, clean water that was worshiped around the area. They thought it contained a god.

[Yuri hesitates a moment.] Though, there's probably a connection. The tainted water was supposedly from the underworld itself. There was a place that acted as a sort of gateway between the world of the living and the underworld that was full of the water, but I haven't seen any of it here. [YET... She rests her elbow on the table, cheek pressed against her palm]

I suppose if they suddenly need a way to seal the entrance and the conventional ways aren't working... [Okay she was sorta trying to joke but given all the other shady things the Heavens have done....................

But now Yuri's curiosity is piqued too.] Does that mean people could enter the underworld, though?

Ah, I see. [Night. The identical pronunciation, though, and that can't be a coincidence if the dark water was supposed to flow from the underworld and needed to be blocked by the spirits of the dead.

Hakkai smiles humorlessly at Yuri's joke. It's funny because it's entirely plausible that the Heavens would arrange such a thing to ensure that the gates to the underworld remained closed.

Or, should that be: it's not funny because...?]

Yes, it's possible to enter the underworld, but very dangerous. I went there with my first goddess.

[He wraps his hands back around his cup, glancing up at her with a falsely mild expression.]

Are you considering a visit?

[Elsa, she recalls, and she tilts her head up in acknowledgement, eyeing him curiously. What had they been running around the underworld for??]

Ah. [The question gives her pause. She'd been fully prepared back home to go running into the Shadowspring and confront Ouse, willing to accept whatever that confrontation would bring. She's not sure what the point would be of entering the underworld right now, but she is curious.]

I'm not sure. It'd be interesting to see, but I'm not sure if I'd find anything that'd make the trip worthwhile... [Except her own satisfied curiosity maybe]

All we found were ayakashi and ... I suppose "vengeful demons" is the easiest way to describe it. They resembled rotting women's bodies with long hair that moved on its own.

[Speaking of pleasant topics! He adds, thoughtfully:]

I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who isn't a combat expert. We barely escaped and one shinki was killed.

[That sounds familiar, minus the hair moving on its own. Sheesh.]

Ah...Well, I suppose that rules me out then. [She winces, irritated by the logic of it all and the acknowledgement of her limitations.]

Speaking of, I suppose we should figure out what you turn into, right? If you'd like. [Or he can rest for a little while longer, whatever.] If you turn into a weapon I'll have to actually learn how to properly fight, I suppose.

[It's sort of a joke.]

Oh, that's true. Sorry, I'm not used to... being assigned like this.

[When he's been named, he's transformed at once, right at first. He hasn't had to learn what he changes into since Elsa.

It hasn't even been that long, has it? A few months. He says ha, under his breath, and picks up the coffee to take a deep swig. It's cool enough now not to burn his tongue, and the bitterness seems to clear his head.]

I've been a weapon every time so far, but, you know, even if I'm not for you, you should learn to fight.

[He sets the coffee down, pushing it a few inches away to ensure it won't be knocked over when she calls him.]

[She waves a hand--don't worry about it--and pushes her chair away to stand a few steps away from the table, just in case. Neji had nearly taken her arm off when he'd transformed into his bird form the first time, so she's a little wary.

She does give him a flat, mildly irritated look at the suggestion though, again not exactly pleased to be brought up against logic like that.] I know. Neji's said about as much and I'm fairly sure he might be trying to kill me under the guise of training me. [Ninjas are the Worst please spare her. Save her.] But-- I suppose it's true enough, that I should get to trying actual weapons...

[Ugh. She eyes him again and the mark over his eye--what an interesting kanji, she wonders if the Heavens chose it themselves--and takes a breath.] ...Come, Gekiki.

[And while Yuri isn't sure what to expect, the trenchcoat definitely isn't even near the list. Yuri looks down at herself in surprise, turning her body to look at it as much as she can (suddenly she sort of wishes for a mirror) and smooths her hands down the front.

Then immediately snatches her hands away, holding them up up in an awkwardly defensive sort of gesture and frowns. Was that weird?? She was wearing him could he feel that? This is weird.] Well, I guess we don't have to worry bout not knowing how to wield you...

No, I suppose not.

[Gekiki? Is that really his name? It sounds like a tree frog noise, and he's really going to have to get a closer look in a mirror at that character inscribed across his eye, he thinks, because it's easier than thinking about the fact that Yuri is now wearing him and that is really a bit awkward.

He'd teased Gojyo about wielding him -- that had been the day before Gojyo disappeared, and remembering their banter stings, now -- but he'll have to avoid teasing Yuri. At least until they're both a bit more comfortable with this.

There's something to be said, he supposes, for the fact that he's a coat and that means she's wearing him over her outfit and generally not against bare skin.]

But I'm not sure I'll be very useful in a fight this way, either. Perhaps I'm your armor.

Maybe... I suppose once we get into a battle we can see if there's more-- I'm sure there has to be. Otherwise I suppose I'm not meant to be on the front lines.

[Yuri turns this way and that to try and check herself out from all angles, indulging in a more feminine desire than she usually does. Does it look good on her?? It--He??--seems to fit well and it's a nice color and material...

Okay that's not the point here and she stops, feeling embarrassed and self-conscious suddenly.]

Well, that's probably for the best anyhow. [But if she concentrates she can feel something prickling at the edge of her senses] If you give me a minute, I think I can figure it out though...

If I'm in my own shape, I should be able to help protect you in battle.

[It's a mild, matter-of-fact comment -- she's his goddess now; and although ayakashi are troublesome to face in his normal form, he's handled them before. It's just a matter of clever use of borderlines, and then, of course, retreating. Fast.]

Of course, that depends on my power.

[He feels oddly unsettled, as though she's affecting his chi somehow. All of his abilities so far -- at least, all of the ones he'd discovered, which is exactly one, to be fair -- have been under his own control.

This... might not be.

How strange. He waits.]

Yes, well... [There's a tone of reluctant agreement, but at least she doesn't deny him that outright. While a shinki's Rending ability is needed to actually destroy an ayakashi, the powers and weapons most people had here could at least knock 'em down a little.

Still, hopefully it won't have to come to that, and she suspects it won't. She concentrates instead on the power she can feel simmering just below the surface of her consciousness. It's strange, because she knows it's not her own, exactly, and she's never tried to draw on someone else's before, but she's careful with it. But what does she do with it? It's not so much instinct as trial-and-error, but she throws her hand out (is the gesture necessary? Probably not but cut her a break) and releases the power she feels.

Perhaps a little too much though; the shadows that leap at her call is cool, but them flipping and slamming the chair into the wall by accident is less so. Yuri jumps back with a strangled yelp of alarm, but she can't help but be impressed.] Oh. [So THAT'S what he can do.]

Oh.

[His thought echoes her words, equally startled, but with a thread of amusement running through it as he considers the mark that the chair had made on the wall. It had been thrown quite hard, hadn't it?

She could do a lot of damage with power like that.]

I think you're still going to need to do a little training.

[Yuri huffs, embarrassed but amused, and he's not wrong...] I don't know. I think throwing chairs would catch anyone off guard, it might be all I need.

Revert, Hakkai. [WHatevergo back to your real body and let her live.] Still, that's pretty impressive. I wonder what decides what a shinki will turn into for a specific god or what their ability will be. [She trails off, eyeing the mark on the wall thoughtfully]

It's a good-- [The transformation catches him midsentence, and he finds himself standing next to his abandoned chair and coffee cup. He looks down, smiles lopsidedly, and picks up the cup, downing another gulp before it has the chance to get any colder.]

... It's a good first step in a fight, at least. After that you may have to start hitting your enemy.

I'm not sure what determines it. It can't just be me, or I'd have been things that are... more alike. Perhaps it's based on the connection between us.

[He lifts a hand to his blind eye, fingers brushing skin that feels the same as always, but that, he knows, is now streaked with red as well as with the dark green vines of his youkai marking.]

Which character is it, by the way? I couldn't get a good look.

If that's true, I wonder what it says about us that the power is something with shadows. [She trails off, but she's more amused than anything. It probably means nothing--but maybe it also means everything. The enigma of shinki/god bonds will forever mock her.

Yuri glances up at the question, and then looks a bit embarrassed.] Oh. Sorry, I-- ...I don't really like mirrors, so... [So she's removed them or covered the ones she couldn't, for the most part. But it's a little embarrassing, being that unnerved by mirrors, and Yuri runs a hand through her hair self-consciously. As for the question itself:]

It's geki. It sort of means-- Well... [She smiles a bit, but it's humorless and a bit apologetic.] Violence. Or to incite. If you're talking about when your blood boils when you get angry, it's the kanji used there too. I wonder why Heaven would stick you with that name.

[But it's said in a tone that suggests she knows exactly why, mr. "if the heavens brand me a traitor let me go"]

[Hakkai looks startled, for an instant, before he relaxes into a sharp smile.]

Oh, really? Maybe I should take it as a warning!

[Things she may notice he didn't say: "I will take it as a warning."

He's not sure if he cares all that much. What a harsh name, but accurate, he supposes, to the way he feels now.]

Do you mind if I keep a mirror in my room? [Letting the sharpness of his smile go in favor of a pleasantly rueful expression, he rubs a hand along his jaw.] I'm afraid I'll need one to shave.

[And check for blight. It's part of his morning routine by now.]

[Yuri says nothing to that, just a soft hum of acknowledgement as she studies him. Maybe he should, but she's not particularly worried even if he doesn't] Well. Never let it be said the Heavens and gods are above being petty. [Not with something as obvious as that, both in meaning and location.

She shakes her head at the question] I don't mind. The bathrooms all have mirrors too, but you can do whatever you like to your room.

[Her gaze turns thoughtful as she tries to imagine him with a beard or a mustache and immediately she makes a face.] I'll work on getting you a mirror.

[There's a distinct buzzing noise from her cellphone, which she pulls out with a frown. She looks at the clock, then back at the phone, muttering to herself] ...This is the 4th one from Tokyo...

It's all right, I have some money of my own! I just wanted to make sure it wouldn't be a problem.

[Facial hair really would not suit him. Even the slight, irregular stubble that's clinging to the corner of his jaw now doesn't suit him, but at least it's easy to miss except when the light catches it just right.]

-- The fourth prayer?

[He frowns, leaning forward and clasping his hands together on the table.]

Is that unusual?

[Tokyo is a very large city, after all....]

Hm? [Yuri glances away from her phone to him, then back again with a concerned frown] It's a little unusual. I don't usually get so many in the same place like this on an off-date. Did something happen in the human world...?

[She frowns, speaking absently as she searches recent news for something that might've triggered this.] There are a couple of times a year when things spike. Exam times and holidays especially, but it's a bit unusual when it's the same city and there's nothing to cause it. And I wouldn't have taken much notice except this is the fourth one in a row...

[Lips purse and she shifts her weight, tucking her phone away again] It might just be a coincidence, but it's making me suspicious.

[He nods, slowly, and glances down at his own pajamas with a rueful expression.]

If you give me a little time to get ready, I might be able to come with you on this one.

Have you ever found someone ... praying to you ... who's been affected by ayakashi?

[It's the only time he's seen a sudden outbreak of suicide attempts himself: when the chocolates unleashed ayakashi on hundreds of mortals, all at once. They still don't know who created those chocolates, or why. If the technique has been refined, could something like that be happening again?

Four, though, is far too few to rest any conclusions on.]

You just got here, you don't have to go to one of these prayers right away. You should really settle first.

[She then frowns, not suspicious exactly so much as surprised.] The last couple have, yes. It's... weird. They weren't the usual kinds of people that prayed to me either, but I didn't think much of it at the time. It was like the depression and urge to commit suicide came out of nowhere, but I could talk the one down after the ayakashi was destroyed.

Ayakashi can do that, yes. I don't think you were here for White Day?

[He shrugs, slightly, and glances away.]

There was a problem with "surplus" chocolates that had been infested by ayakashi. Mortals that ate them were badly affected.

[She shakes her head-- nope, she arrived a little while after, but she frowns at the explanation. Infected chocolates?? That could happen?]

How did everyone stop it? Just destroy the chocolate? Is it possible they've made more? [Again it's too early to jump to conclusions, but she'd lie to be prepared going in here]

We got rid of the chocolate that we could, destroyed the ayakashi that had already escaped, and -- well. We weren't able to save them all.

[His gaze flicks back to her face, and he's silent for a few seconds before he scoots his chair back, legs scraping audibly against the floor, and gets up to take his cup to the sink and rinse it out.]

It's possible that they've made more. We were never able to find out who was responsible for the first set.

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