Badass Freaking Overlord Zetta (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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thenearshore2018-07-18 03:17 pm
badassfreakingoverlord) wrote in thenearshore2018-07-18 03:17 pm
Who prays to Angra Mainyu, honestly?
Who: Zetta and Ross; Zetta and Hibiki?!
When: December 23 & 24
Where: The Near Shore
What: Zetta answers prayers. Ross comes along for one. Hibiki shows up for the other. Hilarity Ensues.
December 23.
What is it with forests, anyway?
[Zetta's divine power transports the pair of them -- or rather the three of them, if one counts the unfortunate minion on book-carrying detail -- down to the Near Shore in a flash of malign black energy that practically screams 'evil!'. As much as getting named a god is an incredible step down for him, Zetta has to appreciate that this particular divinity has a little style.]
[Find the blighted tree and investigate. Simple enough. Finding themselves deposited on the outskirts of a park, maybe less simple.]
...Okay, never mind. Not forests. Super. [Zetta scowls at the faint patch of winter-worn green, addressing Ross without looking his way.] This sounds way too easy to be easy, huh?
December 24.
Hyaaaha ha ha ha ha!
[Who is Zetta talking to? Because it isn't the minion that's lugging him up the walk to the neat little townhouse from which a heartfelt prayer had come. And there's no one else around to hear... But as an Overlord and protagonist, Zetta has a heartfelt obligation to narrate his life.]
This is perfect! A prayer to watch TV? I'll sit back, do nothing, and have another devoted follower spreading the good word... uh, bad word... without needing to so much as flip a page.
I sure hope it's some decent show, though... [A brief expression of worry crossed his face as the minion shifted the Sacred Tome to one arm, the better to access the bell. But hey, what's the worst that could happen on this prayer?]
When: December 23 & 24
Where: The Near Shore
What: Zetta answers prayers. Ross comes along for one. Hibiki shows up for the other. Hilarity Ensues.
December 23.
What is it with forests, anyway?
[Zetta's divine power transports the pair of them -- or rather the three of them, if one counts the unfortunate minion on book-carrying detail -- down to the Near Shore in a flash of malign black energy that practically screams 'evil!'. As much as getting named a god is an incredible step down for him, Zetta has to appreciate that this particular divinity has a little style.]
[Find the blighted tree and investigate. Simple enough. Finding themselves deposited on the outskirts of a park, maybe less simple.]
...Okay, never mind. Not forests. Super. [Zetta scowls at the faint patch of winter-worn green, addressing Ross without looking his way.] This sounds way too easy to be easy, huh?
December 24.
Hyaaaha ha ha ha ha!
[Who is Zetta talking to? Because it isn't the minion that's lugging him up the walk to the neat little townhouse from which a heartfelt prayer had come. And there's no one else around to hear... But as an Overlord and protagonist, Zetta has a heartfelt obligation to narrate his life.]
This is perfect! A prayer to watch TV? I'll sit back, do nothing, and have another devoted follower spreading the good word... uh, bad word... without needing to so much as flip a page.
I sure hope it's some decent show, though... [A brief expression of worry crossed his face as the minion shifted the Sacred Tome to one arm, the better to access the bell. But hey, what's the worst that could happen on this prayer?]
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[Honestly, he might not even be serious with this one.]
[But be it joke or real anticipation, after a moment Zetta subsides.]
...how many episodes of this show are there?
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Then they grab Hibiki's hand and count on her fingers, too. And there's even more after that!
Hibiki retrieves her hand and massages it, as if afraid that stupidity is contagious on contact (which she might be). ] That's too many for one night. Why don't we--
[ Nope! If they don't watch a whooooole episode together, front to back, nice and quiet so they can hear all the good parts, they won't be happy! Their wish won't come true!
Hibiki goes gray. ]
A whole episode....front to back....?
[ She can't satisfy this audience unless......Unless.....
She's going to die. ]
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[That's it? He thought this was going to be a six-hour affair! Zetta draws himself forcefully upright.]
Hold on! That's not a proper binge at all! It doesn't count as really watching until you look up and realize it's several hours later than it should be and you've ruined your plans for the day AND the next!
[Honestly Zetta isn't even trying to torture Hibiki -- he may have completely forgotten she's there. Zetta just has standards, damn it!]
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Hngh!
[ And sing along with the theme song - ]
Nrrnnfgh!
[ And wear these Kepomon ears that the kid just remembered were stashed in the ottoman! Here. One for the first Kepomon - (the minion receives a headband) - and one for...um... - (Zetta's are placed at an angle, his "head" being rectangular) - and...oh, thanks, mister, it's real easy to reach your head when you're all curled up like this!
Hibiki now is wearing a cute animal ear headband and is dripping nervous sweat on the carpet. Binge...watch. They're....serious.
And yet, that's the....prayer, so she....must. Her aesthetic forbids blocking her ears. ]
....Nnnnrr.
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[The minion gets up and disappears for a short while, about ten minutes into the episode. When he comes back, it's with a teacup, which he offers to Hibiki sympathetically.]
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Of course, the moment of truth here is: will any Kepomon speak before she can sip, and if not, what (and how good) is what's in this cup? ]
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[With the greatest of fortune, though, it is the one that actually speaks -- the bloblike dog that follows the villains around and constantly comments on how idiotic the two are being. Right now he's attempting to point out how ridiculous it is for the two of them to try to fool a Kepomon into loving them when they both have few to no redeemable traits and virtues.]
[As for the tea? Earl Grey.]
[...it was what was in the kitchen.]
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Ah....
[ ....This is almost up to standards. Hibiki suddenly has a better opinion of Zetta's minion than she does of Zetta. ]
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[Zetta, meanwhile, is watching the budding climax with a growing frown.]
Aww, crap, this is a series where we villains lose, don't we.
[Zetta thinks Hibiki is a villain.]
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[ Zetta is about two seasons too late for his assessment of Hibiki to be accurate, alas. But it's still an understandable assumption.
And, for the record, any story in which the villains win is Doing It Wrong and should be taken off the air immediately. A story in which the villains win in addition to selling toys of animals that speak in nothing but sentence enders....
That is an abomination too great to fathom. ]
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It sure doesn't teach kids a valuable lesson about life. They'll go out there thinking you can win with that level 6 Monopede because you believed in it.
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[ Hibiki has been on the losing side of a few of those statistical impossibilities
BUT SHE'D RATHER NOT THINK ABOUT THAT, TIME TO THINK ABOUT HERSELF INSTEAD
PYU...AMORE LOVE...~ ]
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[This is of course objectively true! But Zetta regards Hibiki for her inevitable dismissal of this fact, so she can basically make his point for him.]
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[ But it's then that Kepachu comes to the rescue of his friends.
Please hold while we turn to stone. ]
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Oh come on! How did he manage to set a water creature on FIRE by attacking its horn?!
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The episode. Must be. Almost over. She can do this.......
As long as her shield isn't shattered by especially gratuitous sentence enders, she'll be safe. ]
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[That is probably even worse of a dire strait, that he finds common ground in inventories that aren't in any way reflected on a person.]
[The episode begins to wind up with lessons learned and friendships made, and only some gratuitous 'chus' thrown in, if not in volume. And then -- it transitions to challenging the viewer to sing a song featuring the names of all 188 Kepomon.]
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Then a splintering one.
Then glass goes flying everywhere and some sort of dead weight hits the back of the couch with such force that it flips up and over the back, to collapse in a pile behind said couch.
It's probably nothing. ]
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[Zetta blinks, which seems a reasonable reaction to a couple dozen fragments of riot shield now embedded in his cover in spine.]
It's a good thing that was probably nothing, or this would really hurt.
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If more Kepomon is played tonight, however, it shall not be witnessed by Shikyoin Hibiki. She has exited, leaving only this crumpled pile of purple fabric, silver hair, and....
Oh. Oh, god. She's a rug. ]
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[Luckily (for Hibiki's follower count), the kid barely even notices she's missing. It's enough to shout about all Kepomon things and be heard by SOMEONE.]
[Even Zetta's eyes have glazed over by the time dinner is almost ready and responsible children need to set the table.]
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What an incredibly successful prayer. ]