what's happening here (mostly open)

[churchbelle]

Who: Hazel and Keito, Hazel and Pals (you)
What: pal stuff, yahoo answers
When: April 29 and/or later, I'm not picky
Where: around....
Warnings: well, the links contain questionably nsfw text, and the Jae-Ha thread contains definitely nsfw text, oops

APRIL 29.... hello Keito
[It's real nice of that Keito kid to have made all of these worksheets for Japanese study, really. Hazel was surprised the other day, when Jae-Ha suddenly delivered them to him with his usual Jae-Ha flourishing, but he's kind of touched by it too... Hooter Kid isn't so bad.

The problem with having a magical spoken understanding of a language but only a very basic written understanding of it is this: he still can't read some of this. How does he do practice worksheets if he can't read them??

He decides he might as well call Keito, because why not call someone he's only ever spoken to on the internet. That's fine. Ring ring, nerd.]


A. YahooAnswersTXT
[So, as a (false) god with a domain of great things like love and youth and poetic inspiration, the prayers Hazel gets custom-tailored to himself sure are... as interesting as one would expect. Since he's been thinking for a few days now about what he should actually do as a (totally fake) god, taking into account his misgivings about the whole thing but still wanting to help normal people— well, he's decided to check Aengus' shrine every so often to see what he can do.

For the people. The people who really, desperately need help with love and youth, at least... The prayers manifest as plaques and handwritten tags hung on the shrine, so that anyone walking by can see exactly what he's dealing with, generally speaking.

Is this worth it... he doesn't even get paid, technically... He gingerly picks one up by its corner, not actually daring to pull it off the shrine in case that means he has to commit to it or something.]

Just one...? Mercy, I don't know what I did to deserve this.

[please..... this is harassment] The poor souls sure are in need...


B. hazel joins a gang
[Or: if you catch him in a variety of stores, he may be:

1. wearing a leather jacket, and shopping for more leather jackets
2. staring at a snack food and commenting that they Sure Are Tasteless Around Here
or
3. something else!! WILDCARD

He sure is out and about...]

Comments

[sweetdeath]

I wouldn't do it with all your prayers. People are depending on you, you know?

[But sometimes you've just got to turn something down! Tsuzuki adds, dubiously, glancing at Hazel:]

Like, maybe answer that guy with the, uh, hairy problem. All you need to do is drop a book off in his mailbox or something and he'll be relieved. But, like, I had someone leave me a prayer to ruin their competitor's business once, and I'm not going to do something like that.

[churchbelle]

[Why does Tsuzuki want him to take care of some guy's... oh, give him a book? He can learn to use google, but-] Alright, I see your point.

[But just look at these prayers. Look at them.] I'd be nice if some of 'em could try a lil harder before runnin' to beg their higher powers.

[sweetdeath]

Isn't that a good thing, though? You're their first resort!

[It might be the opposite of a good thing, when it comes to questions that could be answered with an internet search, but hey, Tsuzuki thinks: look on the bright side.]

Anyway, we're beginner gods, so we can't be too choosy.

[churchbelle]

[Tsuzuki... no, that's too much sunny optimism. Hazel gives him a look, briefly, but he'll skip commenting on that.]

You're sayin' it like anybody volunteered. [He's still bitter... but he's here looking at the prayers, so at least he's putting in an effort, if not for anybody in Heaven at all.] Don't get me wrong, helpin' people's my business, but I could do without the...

[He makes a gesture, frowning. It's vague.] Political carryin' on.

[sweetdeath]

I think we all could. [Tsuzuki's smile slips to a less cheerful look, and he glances away. At least Hazel's trying. It's a good start.]

... Seems like we can't get away from it as long as we're in these positions, though.

[churchbelle]

Y'did just tell me not to quit, more or less. [He won't now, as much as he complains about it - he has Jae-Ha to look out for, first of all - but just saying. Just saying, buddy.

But anyway, these prayers...]

Do ya get any requests like these, or am I just privileged?

[sweetdeath]

I'm not saying to quit! Just that I wish it came with less... politics.

[Fewer rebellions! Fewer disappearing gods and shinki. Maybe a little quiet once in a while. He sighs.]

That's why I asked what you were the god of. I get a bunch of stuff about looking after people's businesses. Girls who want to be sure the chocolates they're making for their crush turn out great, that kind of thing.

[churchbelle]

[Maybe a little less making him shuffle around under all this pretense, too.] Hmm.

Well, supposedly it's youth, and a lil bit about love. [But apparently only the weird, fringe kinds of both of these.]

[sweetdeath]

So how many of these questions are from kids?

[Because that suddenly makes them make a lot more sense. Tsuzuki snickers, turning over another ema.]

It really makes me appreciate candy.

[churchbelle]

Not enough. I can handle kids, but then ya get people like this fella who don't quite grasp the concepts of gettin' older.

[This is a wide spectrum of odd prayers. Very wide.] The kids aren't so bad. I'd reckon half of 'em are the same ones buggin' ya about candy.

[sweetdeath]

[Tsuzuki chuckles.] Maybe so!

Anyway, even if we're gods we've only got so many hours in the day, so pick your favorites, I guess.

Maybe if you answer the kind of prayers you wish everybody would hit you up with, you'll get more of those and less of the ... other kind.

[churchbelle]

That's the sorta thing that gets people complainin' that the gods don't do anythin', I reckon.

[Such as... himself!! But that's neither here nor there. Now he really has to send this weirdo a book, or he'll be a hypocrite. Damn.]

Listen to me argue for the sake of arguin'. You're tryin' to help, and I appreciate that.

[sweetdeath]

It sure is. [Look, there's nothing wrong with losing the faith of some people! Right? Maybe!]

... Haha, well, if you don't want anybody to complain, you'll just have to answer them all, huh?

[churchbelle]

[It's probably a bad idea when you depend on the faith... But whatever.]

Somethin' like that. [A beat; goodness... okay but he's sick of these prayers now.] I never did take ya up on callin' to say hello, did I? How's it goin'?

[sweetdeath]

It's... well, it's been okay. Oh! I have another shinki now, actually. The poor girl just showed up.

[He rubs a hand over his neck, smiling wryly.]

Did you ever get your piano problem worked out?

[churchbelle]

Oh— sure. It turns out I can do this. ["This" he demonstrates, pointing idly at the shrine; a handful of the prayers abruptly vanish, only to blink back into existence stacked neatly in his upturned hand.

Tada. Another blink, and they're back where they came from. He doesn't have to do the gestures, but it adds flair...] Powerfully handy trick, ain't it? Took care of the piano faster than ya can blink.

[But enough about his teleporting piano routine...] Is this one or two shinki for ya, at the moment?

[sweetdeath]

Two. I had a third one, but ... that's a long story.

[And he can't remember how much of it he might've told to Hazel over the piano! Probably none. They'd just met and Hazel was just moving in and -- all that.

He smiles a little awkwardly.]

That is a handy trick! So, is it your new power?

[churchbelle]

[None of it, really... Hazel doesn't know how common his own situation of being completely shinki-less for a week or so at first is, so he figured he'd ask.]

A third one! That's the most I've heard of that aren't, y'know. [He wiggles his hand in a weird kind of gesture, like, that thing people do— noras, he's wiggling his hand about noras.]

But it certainly is. Didn't come with a manual, but it seems like all I need to know is the location of a thing and I can pop it right over.

[sweetdeath]

You mean, those weird super-quiet ones?

[Clearly that's all he could mean, right? He wouldn't make that weird judgmental hand-gesture about any normal shinki.]

That's definitely useful, though. Even if you have to know where something is... I guess you couldn't find your lost keys or phone that way, then, huh?

[Very important considerations.]

[churchbelle]

[Yeah... definitely not. He would never.] Right, those quiet ones. Odd, aren't they?

[He waves his hand again with a short laugh, ha ha he's innocent! Ha.

But wait.] Y'know, I don't think I ever did receive any keys.

[sweetdeath]

I found some in a kitchen drawer for my temple's front door. I don't lock up much, though!

[He shrugs casually. When gods can teleport anywhere they want, locking doors starts to seem kind of pointless, after all.]

The quiet shinki really are weird. I wonder if something went wrong when their souls were getting pulled in.

[churchbelle]

It didn't honestly occur to me to look for some, if ya can believe that. [His house is so big it would be really easy to avoid someone breaking in and just leave, anyway... Very convenient.

Something wrong with the quiet shinki, though... he can see that.] Sometimes that kinda thing goes a lil sideways when it's not supposed to. [...] Well, I'm just assumin'.

[sweetdeath]

With souls, you mean? Do you know anything about that kind of magic?

[The question is earnestly curious. It sounds like Hazel might! And Tsuzuki's a little shaky about the kind of magic that could bring souls in from different worlds and times anyway... so if somebody else here knows more about it, that'd be great.]

[churchbelle]

[Ah, caught... Well, it can't be helped.]

Somethin' like it. Let's say I've dabbled, before gettin' here.

[sweetdeath]

How about that! Hey -- we should put our heads together sometime.

[Ni has asked him not to spill any secrets about the notes Susano'o left behind, so Tsuzuki won't directly ask Hazel about any of that, but he'd still love to know what Hazel knows.]

I use ofuda magic and summons myself, but no magic I know could do the kinds of things that whoever dragged us in here would've had to do. Good thing we've got plenty of expertise, right?

[He laughs cheerfully.]