what's happening here (mostly open)

[churchbelle]

Who: Hazel and Keito, Hazel and Pals (you)
What: pal stuff, yahoo answers
When: April 29 and/or later, I'm not picky
Where: around....
Warnings: well, the links contain questionably nsfw text, and the Jae-Ha thread contains definitely nsfw text, oops

APRIL 29.... hello Keito
[It's real nice of that Keito kid to have made all of these worksheets for Japanese study, really. Hazel was surprised the other day, when Jae-Ha suddenly delivered them to him with his usual Jae-Ha flourishing, but he's kind of touched by it too... Hooter Kid isn't so bad.

The problem with having a magical spoken understanding of a language but only a very basic written understanding of it is this: he still can't read some of this. How does he do practice worksheets if he can't read them??

He decides he might as well call Keito, because why not call someone he's only ever spoken to on the internet. That's fine. Ring ring, nerd.]


A. YahooAnswersTXT
[So, as a (false) god with a domain of great things like love and youth and poetic inspiration, the prayers Hazel gets custom-tailored to himself sure are... as interesting as one would expect. Since he's been thinking for a few days now about what he should actually do as a (totally fake) god, taking into account his misgivings about the whole thing but still wanting to help normal people— well, he's decided to check Aengus' shrine every so often to see what he can do.

For the people. The people who really, desperately need help with love and youth, at least... The prayers manifest as plaques and handwritten tags hung on the shrine, so that anyone walking by can see exactly what he's dealing with, generally speaking.

Is this worth it... he doesn't even get paid, technically... He gingerly picks one up by its corner, not actually daring to pull it off the shrine in case that means he has to commit to it or something.]

Just one...? Mercy, I don't know what I did to deserve this.

[please..... this is harassment] The poor souls sure are in need...


B. hazel joins a gang
[Or: if you catch him in a variety of stores, he may be:

1. wearing a leather jacket, and shopping for more leather jackets
2. staring at a snack food and commenting that they Sure Are Tasteless Around Here
or
3. something else!! WILDCARD

He sure is out and about...]

Comments

[lecturehall]

[It's an unknown number. Keito doesn't answer the first call. ]

[churchbelle]

[This little...

CALLS AGAIN. Soon he'll start leaving passive-aggressive messages if he is ignored.]

[lecturehall]

[HIT HIM WITH YOUR BEST SHOT GROUSE. HE AIN'T PICKING UP THAT AREA CODE]

[razzledazzles]

[Guess who was just told to call his annoying friend on his own phone? Jae-Ha.

Jae-Ha is calling now.]

B! also 1 because it's funny

[lilys_poise]

[Oh, it's that nice guy with all the neat stuff. Elise was just doing a little window shopping so it's a good time to say hi.

And to ask why he's dressed like that.]

Hey! What's going on? Are you in disguise?

ah....rip hazel

[churchbelle]

[Oh— the cute little girl who likes colors. Hey there.]

Afternoon, lil miss. [But, um.] What gives ya that idea?

[This is just how he chooses to dress...]

[lilys_poise]

Huh?

[Genuine surprise here. Which is what leads to her tragically honest answer.]

Because you're wearing that funny looking coat...

hello flashback to the 28th

[razzledazzles]

[Jae-Ha keeps jumping for a long time. Picking any direction, he'd jumped off towards it and stuck that way rather than aiming for their temple, and now he was silent and only looking ahead. It might be clear how he's tired just from how his jumps get more and more frequent, until finally the stinging gets to be too much.

He stumbles in his landing, dropping to his right knee without meaning to and holding Hazel closer so he doesn't just drop him onto the ground.]

here it go

[churchbelle]

[Hazel holds onto him in silence, watching the monster fading into the distance for only a brief time. They could have handled that better— but there's no point in dwelling on it. He's going to dwell, but there isn't any point in it.

Of course he notices the sudden increase in jumps, and he's about to voice his concern when Jae-Ha all but crash lands to the ground. Hazel's jolted, holding tighter to him for a moment before immediately letting go to stand if Jae-Ha will let go of him now.]

Your leg's been— let me see it.

HERE IT GO

[razzledazzles]

[Once Hazel slips out of his arms, Jae-Ha leans forward to rest his palms on the ground so both of his knees can touch to the ground. A couple of the spear-like spikes on Axel's limb left tears in the cloth on the back of his left leg, and that's visible now. But they're thin things compared to the purple rash that spread from them.]

It's blight, isn't it? [He can feel it, this time. The stinging from how it had appeared... On top of that, he seems unfairly exhausted just from switching back and forth from being a damn necklace, and then jumping while holding someone. Maybe he does need some practice.]

We can just find a shrine, or somewhere with that water... [Slowly, he shifts to try and stand, immediately looking over at Hazel.] You weren't hit, were you?

A

[sweetdeath]

[Tsuzuki pauses behind him, staring with genuine bewilderment at the one about pubic hair.

Wow, some people have... they have really personal problems.]

Okay, so, I have to ask. What are you the god of?

[he's not laughing he's not laughing he's not -- Okay. He's laughing. Only a little, though.]

[churchbelle]

[Help him, business card boy... Hazel glances at him, mouth a grim line, like he really doesn't appreciate the laughter!! But ugh.]

Nothin', anymore. I think I'm gonna quit after all these. It's the only way.

[sweetdeath]

Aw, it looks like they really need the help, though!

[Some of these people really, really need help. He flips over another of the ema. "Can you marry yourself..."]

Or maybe just a good talking-to. I think it's okay to answer prayers with "no."

B!

[diehardreaper]

[ Yeah this dude totally sees what you're dealing with. He can't help but peer over Hazel's shoulder, squinting at the one that has something to do with pubes. ]

Blimey this lot certainly has the oddest problems, eh?

[ Looking over a few other tags now. On principle, he never touches ones from shrines that aren't his. ]

I'd hate to be the poor sod who has to figure out why someone's devoid of hairy bollocks.

[churchbelle]

[Ah, hey stranger. Come to see whether or not a god can actually live in hell?? Hazel's experiencing it.]

Well, he'll have to ask someone else to take a look for him. That's frankly well above my pay grade.

[diehardreaper]

[ He's taken to wandering around the other shrines, really. It keeps him out of trouble and lets him socialize... and what makes this reaper the happiest is socializing.

And not being a god who has to take care of a hairy balls prayer. ]

Unless you happen to be the god of ball hair or summat then I'm afraid it's all on you. [ Momentary pause. ] You are a god though, right?

B 2

[young_oldman]

[Someone else is shopping for snacks! Someone quite unlikely, to be honest, because does Lu Meng look like the kind of person that can appreciate the different variants of Pocky? But he sure has a shopping basket filled with four flavors of the coated stick biscuits, pop-in-the-microwave waffles, and cream-filling biscuits.

It's a surprise to him to see Hazel at the store commenting on the local goods too. Lu Meng places the basket on the ground to give Hazel his customary salute and bow.]

Good day to you, Master Hazel. Are you purchasing some light refreshments for your household as well?

[churchbelle]

[Oh - it's Mister Serious, doing his usual bowing thing... Hazel lifts a hand to him in greeting, glancing down at his basket... A grin tugs at the corner of his mouth at the sight of Lu Meng toting all of those around, for sure.]

I'm givin' it some thought. Did your lady send ya out for all of those?

[Something about such an oddball paired with such a serious person is so charming, gosh.]

[young_oldman]

[He's getting used to these moments of domesticity, but being caught buying brat snacks does make him feel a little self-conscious especially at that little grin from Hazel.]

No. However her spirits have been low as of late so I thought to purchase some of her favored biscuits to cheer her up.

throws in a wildcard option

[sanzohoshi]

[You know, it hadn't been that long ago that Jae-ha invited Sanzang and Sanzo to join him and Hazel for dinner. While she certainly meant to uphold it, she wanted to stop by and make sure the offer was still on the table.

And if that the floating piano had gotten out of the sky already.

She teleports to his house-temple-thing, makes a brisk walk up to the front door, and knocks loudly. Maybe she should've sent a message ahead but, uh oops! Hello she is here, completely unannounced.]

oh boy

[churchbelle]

[Finally, after days of varying levels of excitement, there's a day of actual peace and quiet. Hazel and Jae-Ha are at home, where the piano is no longer in the sky, thanks, and doing absolutely nothing exciting. Jae-Ha is probably practicing posing with his leg somewhere, and no one is getting in trouble. As an old man, Hazel can appreciate this. He deserves a break.

But there's a knock on the door, and he's immediately tired. More visitors... He gets up from where he's been quite literally on the floor, staring at Learning Japanese Worksheets laid out on the coffee table, and heads warily for the front door. If Sanzang is looking anywhere else while she waits, she might see him peering out the window to see who's there before he actually comes to open it. She's harmless, he will answer the door for her.]

Afternoon. Your other half ain't with ya? [IDLE.... observation... He isn't a ship pusher like Jae-Ha, he's just saying.]

[sanzohoshi]

['Other half,' look here you.] Ahaha! If he knows what's good for him, he's resting!

[What...does that mean?? Sanzo's an old man, he needs Rest. With that vaguely threatening comment past:] Oh, I almost forgot! [Sanzang gives a cheery, belated, wave]

Hello, Master Hazel! [Nailed it.] I hope you're having a good day! Is this a bad time?

[miraculo]

[ She happens to be walking by. Because apparently everyone is neighbors? Sure. Anyway, she's walking by and carrying some peaches when she notices all of the plaques that have sprouted up around him and his house.

She waves from the side, calling out-- ] You sure are popular, huh? Have you answered any of them yet?

[churchbelle]

[No... Sanae, don't look at his shame. He looks over at her with a nod in greeting, at least, before he goes back to frowning at this... this.

No, he can't look at them anymore. This is torment.]

I truly don't think I'm capable of... easin' some of these worries.

[miraculo]

[ Don't mind her as she floats over to where he is, looking down towards some of the plaques. Just the ones about marrying oneself, though. For now. ] "Can I marry... myself"....?

[ Squints. ]




Ah... they probably just want the tax benefits.