thenearshore | [CLOSED]

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Who: Naoto Shirogane and Kanji Tatsumi
When: July 18, night
Where: Izanagi's Temple
What: It's been a pretty long and terrible day, and Naoto just needs someone to talk to.
Warnings: Mention of murder and a victim's body

[When Naoto returned to the Izanagi temple earlier in the day, she'd carried a grave expression on her face and said little to anyone else home at the time. Instead, she'd proceeded on up to her room and had shut herself inside, not answering the door when anyone called for her. She did not show her face at dinnertime either. Something had clearly happened and was troubling her immensely, but it seemed she was refusing to open up to anyone.]

[The day passed, turning to evening and then to night. Naoto's not sure why she finally decided to leave her room, or why she currently finds herself standing outside Kanji's. Her hand hovering over the door, pausing there for a long minute before knocking. Eventually, there's a soft rapping of knuckles on the door. Her voice calls out, quiet and hesitant.]

K- Kanji? Are... are you still awake?

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[He'd been propped up on his bed in his pajamas with a book, in fact, though the sound of Naoto's voice outside his door startles him-- she's been home for awhile, but she hadn't seemed in the mood to talk, and the fact that she wants to now has him worried enough that he doesn't think twice about getting properly dressed before answering. Instead, he tosses his reading aside and heads over to the door barefoot, dressed in pj pants and an oversized teeshirt.]

Hey...

[He frowns a little as he opens the door, concerned.]

What's wrong? Can't sleep?

[Naoto almost starts a little as the door opens. There really was no reason for her to be startled, she had been the one to knock on his door after all; part of her it seemed had just expected Kanji to already be sleeping, and that she'd just quietly walk back to her room without disturbing him. And now that he's here in front of her, she's starts second-guessing herself again.]

A- ah, yes... something like that...

Um, I'm sorry to bother you at so late an hour.

[Naoto looks left then right down the hallway. It's clear that whatever happened to her today, it's still bothering her. While she seems to want to get it off her chest, something is holding her back, keeping her from completely opening up. After a moment, she's at least able to get out:]

When we first met... you said we would be a team... did you mean it?

Don't be sorry, I wasn't doin' anything important.

[His frown pulls deeper, however. Whatever had happened, it's clear that it's rattled her, and for her to ask him that question...

He musters up a small smile, nodding.]

Yeah-- of course I did. I don't say things I don't mean. We're partners.

Partners...

[She repeats the word back to herself, and it looks as though it returns to her a small amount of relief and assurance. She looks back up at him. Her expression more serious and focused, but there's clearly still this flicker of fear behind her eyes.]

Kanji, there's something I wish to discuss with you. However, the hallway of Souji-san's temple is not quite the proper place. May we go somewhere we can talk in private?

[Naoto then more precisely clarifies what she means.]

Somewhere Nanako-chan will not overhear us.

[He nods, though his expression shifts again, concerned. He'd already been worried, with the way she'd been keeping to herself since returning home, but the request only makes it sound that much more ominous.]

Sure, wherever you want. Nobody will bother us in here, but-- uh. I get it if hangin' out in my room is too uncomfortable. Where do you wanna go talk?

[Naoto opens her mouth a moment, but quickly closes it again as she appears to be reconsidering whatever she was about to say. As serious as her expression is right now, a subtle shade of pink briefly graces her cheeks.]

No, um... your room is fine.

[She shifts her gaze down to the floor.]

Please pardon my intrusion.

[His concern is great enough that he doesn't notice the subtle flush of embarrassment, only presses his lips into a thin line and looks down the hallway to ensure they're alone before he ushers her in, carefully closing the door behind them so that it latches quietly, not to disrupt anyone who might be sleeping.]

Hey... don't worry about it. We're a team. You can talk to me about whatever you want.

[Now that the door is closed and they have privacy, he sits down on the couch in front of his worktable. He's aware enough, at least, that sitting on his bed would be too awkward.]

What's goin' on, Naoto-kun?

[She takes a seat on the couch as she enters, her gaze still turned down to the floor. Her mind working, trying to formulate the words she should say and where she should begin. As Kanji joins her on the couch, she finally looks up from the floor, her eyes turning to meet his. The expression on her face having returned now to a more serious expression, her brow furrowed in concern.]

You remember when Souji-san took us to Izuku-kun's temple? We met there with several others who're all interested in investigating the past events of the Far Shore, and more specifically the recent murders.

[He nods with interest, his expression serious as he gives her his undivided attention, listening intently.]

Guessin' that means you found something.

[Something that didn't sit well with her.]

[She nods slowly, her gaze staying fixed to the floor as it lowers for the nod. She's quiet for a moment, gathering the strength and poise she needs to talk placidly about what had happened earlier that day.]

Yes...

Izuku-kun and I... this morning, we... we found another body. The victim was... beheaded.

[As she continues, her voice unfortunately starts to catch, threatening to unravel the calm guise she'd mustered.]

I knew the victim, too... It- it was Johan. He'd... he'd been one of the first friendly faces I met on my arrival here.

[Beheaded.

It would be bad enough even if she hadn't known the victim. Shocking, stomach-churning-- but the fact that it was a friend? That just made it so much worse.]

Naoto...

[He inches closer without realizing it, reaching out to take hold of her shoulder, a show of solitary as much as an offer of comfort.]

Shit. I'm sorry... I shoulda been there.

[As if he could have changed what happened.]

You shouldn't have to see that. Nobody should. That poor guy...

[Naoto doesn't react in the slightest to his touch. It's like she's gone numb all over. She can't peel her gaze from off of the floor.]

I... I wanted to help... with the investigation into the murders.

I wanted to stop more of them from happening...

[The image of Johan's head planted in the crook of the tree flashes in her mind, and a shiver runs down her spine causing her whole body to shake.]

At the very least, I should have been... prepared to see something like that... a victim's corpose... but...

But when I actually saw the body... saw who it was... what had been done to him... all I could think was how scared I was... how much I didn't want to be next...

Some help I am... [A second image flashes through her mind; Johan's smiling face at the Tanabata Festival's goldfish game.] some friend I am...

Of course you did. You're a good person, Naoto, and a good detective. You can do things nobody else I know can.

[That much should be safe to say without causing her any pain, though he quickly glances down at her, just to be sure. Would it remind her too strongly of her past? He hoped not. He doesn't want to hurt her, only to let her know that she hadn't been wrong in the least for wanting to help.]

It's okay to be scared. Anyone in their right mind would be. Hell, I wasn't even there, an' I--

[He cuts himself off. He was scared, too, but this wasn't about him. He shakes his head firmly.]

I'm not gonna let anyone lay a hand on you. Nobody's gonna hurt you. They'll have to go through me, first-- but we'll catch whoever did it before they even get the chance to try.

[She looks up at him. It's clear she's been trying to hold back tears this whole time, but hearing the confidence in his voice, the reassurance that she's safe with him, it finally seems to bring her restraints down some, and she begins to let go. Right now, she doesn't feel like she's done anything to deserve such warm words from him.]

[Yet even as a few tears trickle down her face, she's able to hold a remarkable amount of composure. Taking a breath before responding in a slightly shaky but still level voice.]

I don't feel like much of a detective. Or much capable of doing anything you seem to think I'm capable of.

How can you have such confidence in me? We still barely even know each other...

I appreciate you wanting to protect me as your shinki, but isn't it supposed to be the other way around? I'm the one supposed to protect you, and yet... and yet I don't feel capable of protecting anyone...

Because--

[Because I know you. Because I know what you're capable of. Because you've already helped so many people.

He can't tell her any of that. It's too much, and risks causing her very real harm.]

We've got a connection, right? As god and shinki. So-- I can already tell you're worth believing in. I can just feel it.

[That was true enough. Even without his prior knowledge of what she was like, that feeling would still be there.]

It doesn't have to be the other way around. We can protect each other. I said we were gonna be a team, right?

["A team." That's right. He'd told her that's how things would be between them on the first night she arrived. Yet, this whole time... had she still been operating as if this were a solitary endeavor? She'd been focusing only on herself, not on the team. Even in the investigation, she'd been thinking of it only in terms of herself; how she could solve the mystery of who was behind the murders, so she could be the one to bring them to justice and prove herself. It wasn't until Johan's death, studying his body with Izuku and Shun, that Naoto finally realized how foolishly she'd been behaving. None of this ever should have been about her.]

[Her tears start flowing more freely now, and she makes no motion, no gesture to try and mask or stop them. Her gaze drops back to the floor, and her voice is more hushed and strained as she speaks.]

I'm so selfish...

I don't deserve to be on a team... much less a shinki...

Naoto-kun...

[He frowns deeply, reaching out to close a hand over her shoulder.]

Hey, you don't-- don't cry, okay? You don't gotta cry.

[He has no idea what to do with a crying girl, but he's going to try his best.]

You're not selfish. All of this-- it's new. For all of us. Me, too.

[When Kanji draws attention to her crying, Naoto's attempts to cover her tears become more obvious but remain about as effective at stemming their tide. She rubs her eyes with the back of her sleeves, several times. She doesn't want him to see her crying either, but, at this point, she doesn't feel like she can help it. All of the frustration, the anger, the sorrow, the despair, the loneliness, all the negative feelings she'd been bottling up since her arrival finally were overflowing out of her. She turns away from Kanji, her last desperate move to keep him from seeing her cry. Her shoulders, however, continue to shake. She doesn't say anything, knowing her voice will come out too choked if she tries to respond at the moment.]

[He moves close enough to hug her to him, wrapping both arms around her and pulling her against his chest. Maybe she would be angry with him for that, maybe she would be upset that he'd invaded her personal space-- but right now, he doesn't know what else he can do. He doesn't know any better way to offer comfort than this.

Sometimes you just needed someone to be there.]

[Naoto starts momentarily when Kanji's arms wrap around her from behind. However, she doesn't pull away from him. She turns, looking back over her shoulder at him. Her eyes a little wide with surprise yet still pooling with tears. After a moment, she turns back around, her posture relaxes, going from more rigid to resting backward against his chest slightly, her arms reach up and delicately clutch around his, holding them in place. She's still crying softly, but the tears are starting to cease now. Her shoulders stop shaking as well. For the first time since she's arrived here, a feeling of total safety and security comes over her. It's a bit embarrassing, being held like this... but it's not so bad... maybe for just this one time she'll allow it.]

[He drops his chin slightly, letting it come to rest atop her head, remaining still as he provides a sense of security.]

Next time, we'll go together. You don't hafta do anything here alone.

[She can feel him rest his chin on her head, and it brings a soft smile to her lips. Her cheeks turning a bright pink, too. With Kanji unable to see her face in their current positions -- and since she doesn't want to disturb his head from resting on top of her's, she finally speaks again. Soft and a little strained, but not nearly so hurt as it was before.]

Alright.

[Involuntarily, her arms folded up over his when he embraced her. And now, they momentarily squeeze his a little tighter.]

[It's a definite improvement. Even without being able to see her face, he can tell that.]

I know talkin' probably didn't do much, but... feel better, at all?

[He hopes, for her sake, that it did. It could be nice if she could get a good night's sleep after all. The return of the embrace makes him blush hotly, and he's glad, for the time being, that she can't see his face, either.]

[She's quiet for a moment, her arms gently squeeze his again. When she speaks again, her voice is hushed, but now much more calm and level again.]

A little, yes...

[There's another lingering pause before she sighs quietly.]

I don't want to let this go. These murders, the investigation into who's behind them... I can't just ignore what's been happening.

But...

[Images of Johan's decapitated corpse, and his head sitting in the crook of that tree again flash through her mind and she shudders slightly.]

But... I don't know if I'm ready to see something like that again... not yet...

[At the time, an intense anger had sparked within her and had been enough to keep her fear aside, though her calm demeanor still suffered. It had been enough to shield her from the shock at first, but it hadn't exactly kept her cool and sharp on the scene. Not like Shun had been. And the anger hadn't been enough in the sight of Johan's head. That grisly image had stopped her in her tracks, and the fear that had been momentarily swept aside washed over her and dragged her under. It took everything she'd had to not collapse right there in front of Izuku and Shun. She'd wanted to do her part, to somehow help them both. They'd each handled themselves so much better than she had, and she was embarrassed for it.]

You don't gotta ignore it, but-- take some time. For you.

[To process. To recover and think about what pursuing this investigation will mean.]

Maybe spend a little while sortin' through evidence you guys already have, seeing what fits together? Sometimes somethin' new will pop out at you when you do that.

[She's quiet again for a moment before she responds in the same hushed tone as before.]

Is that... will it really be okay to just step away from this for a little bit? The killer is still out there, and... the others are working hard looking for him. I... I need to do my part, too. Don't I? I... I owe it to them.

You'd still be workin' on it, just in a different way.

[She doesn't have to be tracking down dead bodies to make a difference.]

And only for a couple of days, maybe. I think-- I think it'll do you some good. Give your head a chance to wrap itself around this stuff.

[She sighs, not quite believing him that she'll still somehow be helpful without being as active in the investigation as Izuku, or Shun, or the others. But she's too tired now to protest further.]

Okay then... if you say so...

[Maybe it's because letting her bottled up emotions out exhausted her or maybe it's because of how warm and comfortable she currently feels -- though, it's really likely a combination of the two, but Naoto's drowsiness starts to get the better of her, and she begins to lean back, resting her body weight more and more against Kanji. However, she catches herself and sits back up again a little more, worried that she might be uncomfortable.]

Ah, sorry...

Hey-- it's okay.

[Clearly, she needs the sleep-- especially if this has been keeping her up.]

You want me to walk you back to your room? Or, uh-- if you don't feel like bein' alone tonight after all this, you can stay here if you want. You can have the futon, I'll take the floor.

[She's quiet for a minute, stretching just long enough to maybe cause Kanji to think she'd fallen asleep right there. But then, she squeezes his arms against her one more time before stepping up and out of them. A small, kind smile on her face as she turns to face him still sitting on the couch.]

I appreciate your offer, but I think I've imposed upon your time and space long enough.

[She blushes softly as she hesitates for a moment about how to phrase what she wants to say next.]

Thank you... for talking with me...

[He nods his understanding. Really, that's probably the better choice for the both of them, all things considered, but of course he'd had to offer.]

Anytime you need to talk-- that's what I'm here for, okay?

[It's part of being a friend, not just being her god.]

You don't gotta keep things to yourself. Anytime you need, I'll listen. I want to.

[Her smiles grows a little warmer and her cheeks a little redder.]

Okay.

[She turns to exit Kanji's room, but she pauses for just a moment longer as she's about to close his door behind her. She turns to him.]

I'm glad you were the one assigned to be my god.

[He blushes hotly in reply, because of course he does-- it never takes much to fluster him, but Naoto has an easier time than most. He nods, smiling in turn as she pauses in the doorway.]

So am I.

[Couldn't ask for a better shinki.]

Sleep well, okay?

[That look on Kanji's face, the reaction was everything she was hoping for, and it keeps the warmth she's currently feeling burning a little longer despite their break in embrace. She nods her head.]

Mm-Hm, you too.

[Her smile flashes just a bit warmer before she turns back around and exits the room, quietly closing the door behind her.]

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[CLOSED]

come to his strong arms, he will comfort you

;_;

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