Susano'o Trashes Heaven

[piphilologize]

Who: Sho Minamimoto vs. Everyone!
What: Susano'o decides to take on Heaven. Chaos results.
When: All day April 19
Where: All around the Heavens
Summary: In a bid to take over Heaven, Sho has unleashed an apocalyptic number of taboo ayakashi the biggest Heaven-wrecking godmode weapon this side of the Far Shore. It doesn't end well. Get ready for spring cleaning 2.0.
Warnings: Math, strong language, casual disembowelment and other violence, NPC death, potential for character death.

12:00:00 PM
Susano'o, Selfies, and the Subjugation of Heaven

As he'd revealed in his 3 AM BBS post, Sho has a variety of fascinating ayakashi that he wants to share with the world. By noon, several large heaps located in various parts of Heaven have caught on fire and there is a massive outpouring of taboo ayakashi.

Concentrated primarily near the Meeting Hall and Susano'o's junk heap of a temple, these ayakashi attack shinki and gods on sight. They're vicious, powerful, and the only way to defeat them is the power of teamwork.

At 2 PM, Joshua will be providing some helpful tips. Meanwhile, Sho will be teleport-spamming throughout Heaven. Feel free to text him, but he'll stop answering right around the time Bishamon and Hajime start to catch up to him. (Picowatt will be helping out from there on!)

Save Heaven 2K16? (Details here!)

03:14:15 PM
Boss Fight: Seiten Taisei and the Neoclassical Drakes

It's the zero hour, exactly 43,200 seconds since he posted his warning to the BBS when Sho decides to change the game. Heaven has rallied against him, gods and shinki alike, and it's time to pull out the big guns.

In the air above the Meeting Hall, he unleashes thirteen Neoclassical Drakes before releasing Seiten Taisei.

And, suddenly, it's entrails everywhere.

??:??:??
Post-Battle Spring Cleaning

Well, the day is saved, but there's a metric ton left to do. The mass slaughter left a bit of a bloody mess, and Susano'o has shrines on the Near Shore covered in graffiti that can turn any stray ayakashi into the taboo sort. Weird and corrupt magics all over the place, some of which are on fire. His junkyard temple is burning merrily, and there are still some stray taboo ayakashi to put down.

Anyone ready for Spring Cleaning 2.0? Grab a mop.

Comments

[returnedfromtheline]

What the-- are you four years old? Get over it.

[Stepping forward (it doesn't matter if his shoes get in the soapy water, of course), he picks up the bucket and thrusts it in Yato's direction.]

Go get more of your special cleaning stuff then. We've been at this long enough as it is.

[And he turns around to take off his shirt. The damp spot should be dry by the time they finish.]

[5yenwish]

[Yato clutches onto the bucket, still pouting and looking dejected.]

Fiiiiine.

[He sighs heavily as he gets up, dripping lightly. Ew. Ewwww.

He tiptoes over to his things - like that's going to keep him from getting more wet??? - and starts pouring a new bucket of cleaner, grumbling loudly the whole time.]

[returnedfromtheline]

[Geh, such a child.]

I'm gonna go buy some ice cream. If you scrub down the rest of this wall while I'm gone, maybe I'll give you some too.

[Stick-and-honey tactics.
With a shrug he picks back up his damp shirt. Guess he can put it back on just before he gets to the store.]

[5yenwish]

[Immediately, Yato perks up and looks at Yukine with hopeful eyes, his task forgotten as water continues to pour into the bucket.]

Really?? REALLY?

[He then salutes, looking as cool as he possibly can. Which isn't very cool.]

I guess I can give it my all~

[returnedfromtheline]

... [The flattest of looks.]

You should just give it your all from the start.

But you better get going. Don't think I won't eat all of it if you're not done.

[And with a nonchalant gesture he starts walking. The timer has started, Yato.]

[5yenwish]

[...dammit! Yukine really is a slavedriver of a shinki!

Yato is quick to start his work, though, once Yukine is gone. He's usually a lot better at this stuff when there isn't someone around to complain to anyway.

So by the time Yukine gets back, Yato is busily working on the last of the graffiti. SURPRISE.]

[returnedfromtheline]

[Well, only a little of a surprise. Yukine has been on lots of mundane jobs with Yato and knows he’s capable of doing a good job.

His return announced with the faint crinkling of the plastic bag, Yukine looks over the walls before commenting,]

Too bad. I was looking forward to an extra serving. Good work. [And he holds out (the carrot) an ice cream bar towards Yato.]

[5yenwish]

[Just like a dog that has heard the treat bag, Yato is quick to spin around and look excited when he hears that bag crinkling.

There's even a touch of drool dribbling from the corner of his mouth.]

THANK YOOOU!

[He yells out as he... literally dives to grab the ice cream in his mouth, packaging and all.]

[returnedfromtheline]

[Yukine recoils at the abrupt and eager dive for the bar.]

Oi! [Does he have to start training Yato like a real dog? Man.]
That’s gross.

[5yenwish]

[Yato looks back at Yukine, package in his mouth and delight all over his face.]

I's no'!

[He pulls the ice cream from his mouth and starts picking the wrapping off.]

[returnedfromtheline]

Is so. Like- fine, it’s not like you’re gonna get sick from it, but who knows how many grubby hands touched that wrapper before it landed in your mouth?

[But then, this is also the guy who ate soap once in omake, so… Whatever, Yato.]

Whatever. Let’s clean up and get out of here once you’re done that. [They still have a quota to fill today, after all.
Yukine has unwrapped his ice cream and has already taken two huge bites out of it.]

[5yenwish]

[After swallowing a bite, Yato holds up a finger.]

You're right! I won't get sick! That's why I can eat anything.

[He wiggles his eyebrows.]

Not being squeamish has gotten me some pretty good food, you know.

[returnedfromtheline]

Geh- Not only were you dumpster-diving for clothes, but for food too?
…That makes me even more thankful for Daikoku-san’s cooking. I’ll thank him a lot tonight. [And then Yukine rounds on Yato, pointing a finger at him.]

And you better thank him too, you ungrateful bottom-feeder!

[5yenwish]

B-Bottom-feeder?!

[Yato seems completely indignant about that comment, even as he gently drops the wrapper from his ice cream onto the ground.]

I'll have you know I only skimmed from the top! ...and... almost-middle!

[Somehow that's better.]

[returnedfromtheline]

[Yukine looks from the dropped wrapper back up to Yato.
Seriously?]

You say that as if it makes it sound better. I bet you Mayu-san's first meal with Tenjin-sama wasn't a couple of dried fish.

[He's not saying it out of greed or envy, but as a statement of fact.]

[5yenwish]

[Yato balks and points a finger at Yukine.]

Hey hey hey! You don't need to bring up things like that! That's low!

[He pouts.]

I do the best I can, okay? And aren't your meals sooooo nice now?

[returnedfromtheline]

!!
They're nice because they're Daikoku's meals, you mooch! He lent me the room- you're just a NEET leech! Quit taking advantage of him! Get a job and start paying him back! Especially for the groceries! The least you could do is help him with the shopping sometime. And if you do help him with that, you better stick to his list, moron. If you come back with only beer, I'll kick you into next week! You should quit drinking so much anyway! You know you reek when you do- it's gross. You know Hiyori doesn't like it either. And quit calling dibs on the bath - you should be the last one in! And clean up after yourself, would you? And wash that damn jersey more than whenever Hiyori throws you into the river! I'll start throwing you in too, if you don't give it up for the laundry! And remember to empty the damn pockets, would you? You collect candy like a five-year-old, and you have no idea how it messes up the rest of the load, do you? Try doing the laundry yourself for once and just see how much of a hassle it is!

[He can keep this up all day, Yato. You know he can.
And Yukine will just keep going until interrupted, basically.]

[5yenwish]

[ohmygodwhy

Yato just reels back, holds his hands up, and waves them around enthusiastically.]

Stop stop stop!! I get it, you don't like things I do! Just stop lecturing me!!

[He pouts and sniffles.]

...

[returnedfromtheline]

[The waterworks don't work on your shinki. Please stop embarrassing yourself, Yato.]

I'll stop lecturing you when you start doing what I'm telling you!

[Yukine pointedly makes a gesture towards the wrapper that Yato had dropped just a moment ago.]

[5yenwish]

[Yato tries giving the puppy dog eyes for a few more moments. But that is obviously not going to work. So he lets out a heavy sigh and bends down to pick up the wrapper from the ground.]

Fiiiiiiine.

[His tone is that of the long-suffering.]

[returnedfromtheline]

[Oi, the one who is long-suffering in this relationship is Yukine.]

So long as you understand.

[With a definitive and satisfied nod, that is that.]