what's happening here (mostly open)

[churchbelle]

Who: Hazel and Keito, Hazel and Pals (you)
What: pal stuff, yahoo answers
When: April 29 and/or later, I'm not picky
Where: around....
Warnings: well, the links contain questionably nsfw text, and the Jae-Ha thread contains definitely nsfw text, oops

APRIL 29.... hello Keito
[It's real nice of that Keito kid to have made all of these worksheets for Japanese study, really. Hazel was surprised the other day, when Jae-Ha suddenly delivered them to him with his usual Jae-Ha flourishing, but he's kind of touched by it too... Hooter Kid isn't so bad.

The problem with having a magical spoken understanding of a language but only a very basic written understanding of it is this: he still can't read some of this. How does he do practice worksheets if he can't read them??

He decides he might as well call Keito, because why not call someone he's only ever spoken to on the internet. That's fine. Ring ring, nerd.]


A. YahooAnswersTXT
[So, as a (false) god with a domain of great things like love and youth and poetic inspiration, the prayers Hazel gets custom-tailored to himself sure are... as interesting as one would expect. Since he's been thinking for a few days now about what he should actually do as a (totally fake) god, taking into account his misgivings about the whole thing but still wanting to help normal people— well, he's decided to check Aengus' shrine every so often to see what he can do.

For the people. The people who really, desperately need help with love and youth, at least... The prayers manifest as plaques and handwritten tags hung on the shrine, so that anyone walking by can see exactly what he's dealing with, generally speaking.

Is this worth it... he doesn't even get paid, technically... He gingerly picks one up by its corner, not actually daring to pull it off the shrine in case that means he has to commit to it or something.]

Just one...? Mercy, I don't know what I did to deserve this.

[please..... this is harassment] The poor souls sure are in need...


B. hazel joins a gang
[Or: if you catch him in a variety of stores, he may be:

1. wearing a leather jacket, and shopping for more leather jackets
2. staring at a snack food and commenting that they Sure Are Tasteless Around Here
or
3. something else!! WILDCARD

He sure is out and about...]

Comments

[razzledazzles]

[HE CAN READ ENGLISH, NOT BROKEN ENGLISH, KEITO]

Would you just come over and see for yourself?

[lecturehall]

Again, I'll come over but only to take the worksheets back.

Prepare yourself for a full lecture after what you've made me endure. I hate talking on the phone.

[Which means. Click. He gone.

But he'll be there soon, probably standing in front of the house, deadeying the surrounding Texan paraphernalia. If there is any.]

So it's the American.

[churchbelle]

[Presumably, Jae-Ha has informed Hazel of Keito's impending visit, so he'll give him a reasonable amount of time for someone who can teleport around the place...

Annnd no one is coming to the door? What's taking him so long? After Long Enough, Hazel chances to look out the window— ah.]

Is that the one, standin' there not knowin' how doors work? I should've known. [Since he's Jae-Ha's friend... must be a green thing!!

But okay, Jae-Ha can be left alone with his plants finally, since Hazel will go to the door himself.] Afternoon.

[lecturehall]

[Look, this is super-authentic Southern architecture. He wanted to poke around a bit before the door. Example: Hazel appears while he's studying one of those fancy columns. He stops once he's been caught.]

Give me the folder back.

[Fuck your afternoon.]

[churchbelle]

[Uh huh... what a pleasant boy. What happened to that bright-eyed interest in social media, huh!!]

I'm tryin' to read 'em! What's the dang problem?

[lecturehall]

The fact that you're saying you need to try. I may not be fluent in English but it shouldn't be so incomprehensible.

[Crossing his arms!!] I won't tolerate aimless antagonizing. Someone your age should be more mature. Instead, you're wasting both of our time with this discourtesy. Stop being difficult and give me the folder.

[churchbelle]

[How do you tell a whiny child his English is just broken enough to be incomprehensible... "Instructions unclear, burned down house"??]

Mercy, I don't know what to do with any of the other characters. I can't read the language. Is this really so hard for ya to understand?

[lecturehall]

[Yes, it is. However, it's not hard to understand this isn't going anywhere. So maybe a different approach. Keito snaps out his hand.]

Show me. Bring it here.

[churchbelle]

[Kiddo, this isn't your dang house.]

To my porch? You're more'n welcome to come in and have a seat. [He steps aside with a very nice, welcoming gesture, and everything.]

[lecturehall]

[Keito looks between the open door and Hazel for a good minute before traipsing in. Suddenly, all that haughtiness dies in favor of proper courtesy. Namely:]

Where should I put my shoes?

[He's holding them in the air. Maybe wiggles them a bit at Hazel. Where they go]

[churchbelle]

[...Oh, that is a bit of a thing, isn't it. Hazel gives him a look like this didn't occur to him, because it didn't, then nods at a spot on the floor under a painting of a ranch or something equally Texan. It's just there, in the hall.]

There's fine. Everythin's through to the right, there.

["Everything" here meaning Hazel's valiant attempt at doing worksheets, spread all over the coffee table.]

[lecturehall]

[Keito takes one look at the painting and deems it the only time he'll ever willingly behold it.]

You need better art.

[Just a passing comment as he trails into the other room. The mess on the table surprises him. It... actually looks like there was a desperate attempt to learn. It's admirable but it won't do.]

That idiot... You weren't supposed to take it all out. Didn't he tell you that?

[Keito is Fixing this by gathering up all the papers and stacking them. Only the first sheet is left alone, sitting in the middle of the table. He taps it as he sits down on the other side.]

Show me.

[churchbelle]

It was here when I got the place.

[He tried, okay... don't look at the big framed map of Texas. That seems to be a sticking point for literally every other visitor.

Either way, Hazel just stands there as Keito takes over, and he honestly expects him to pack up all of the papers and leave, like he's claimed - so the single sheet left there is a surprise. There's a pause before he sits down facing it.]

Show ya that I can't read Japanese...? How do ya suggest I do that?

[lecturehall]

You can't be this dense. Jae-ha has at least enough sense not to follow an idiot.

[He hopes. Anyway, time to tap the sheet.] The English you said you couldn't understand. Show me.

[churchbelle]

[If Jae-Ha isn't posing with his own leg somewhere, being an idiot of the highest caliber himself, Hazel will go upstairs, get his hat, and eat it. He will put in the effort.

But fine; he sighs, turning the sheet sideways on the table so they can both look at it uncomfortably and taps at the very first line. Series of lines, as it were. Are these really directions...?]

Now, I'm seein' this, and all I'm gettin' is "Finally, I have been up the day." What's bein' up the day?

[Is this a Japanese term?????]

[lecturehall]

When you've been up all day.

[He doesn't understand why that's confusing. Which means he needs to investigate!! He shuffles around to better see the paper.] The grammar should be right...

[Another minute or so of muttering before he decides fuck it.] Anyway, it doesn't matter. See, what I'm asking you to do is write the term you'd use to say you've arrived home. That would be "tadaima" so...

[He circles the hiragana for it then looks at Hazel expectantly.

Write it.]

[churchbelle]

[When you've-?? It doesn't say that at all. The grammar is atrocious. What is he supposed to do.]

Why not just put "I'm home" next to that in English?

[He's not writing it until it makes sense.]

[lecturehall]

[That's not writing "tadaima"??? Keito looks briefly offended but listens anyway, writing "I'm home" at the end of "Finally, I have been up the day."

To clarify the sentence now reads: "Finally, I have been up the day. I'm home."

Back to waggling the pen at Hazel.]

There. I fixed it. It's your turn now.

[churchbelle]

Well, now the whole thing doesn't say the same thing as this lil bit ya circled, does it?

[Buuut FINE, he'll try his hand at writing it. He will get every stroke wrong, while he awkwardly tries to copy these characters.]

[lecturehall]

[Keito dies with every misplaced stroke but it's fine. It's Hazel's first time. Criticizing him from the get-go would only hurt his education.

He's ignoring the correction.]

Good. Although right here—[He points at the "da".]—you forgot the dakuten here. That's what these little marks here are. [Points to those too.] They're what changes this letter, "ta", to "da".

[churchbelle]

[Keito says good, which means Hazel did this perfectly. Stroke order will never make sense and he doesn't even know about it yet.

But, uh. Okay— he'll add those. Did he think they were a smudge and just not copy them?? No one will ever know.] Is that printed somewhere on this sheet of yours?

[lecturehall]

[Keito meets Hazel's eyes and flips the paper over. Behold, the back is covered with in-depth explanations of everything.

Still in... imperfect English, though.]

[churchbelle]

[Oh, he's got sass. Hazel looks at these explanations, humming a few times like he's really learning, but - no, he's not. What is this.]

"The mark critical the change in form." That's real poetic, son.

[lecturehall]

[keito glares harder: the glarening.]

Say "I love you" in Japanese.

[No. The answer isn't anywhere on any sheet.]

[churchbelle]

[Keito, he doesn't like you like that.]

Speakin' isn't my problem, like I've been sayin'! I've got the same ability to speak it now as well as anyone. What's this got to do with writin' the lil marks?