And I've got my mind.

[untodeath]

Who: Grell and William
When: October 6th
Where: Temple of Ma'at
What: There are apologies to be made.


text;

I'm outside. Come meet me?


[ The points of Grell's teeth press into her bottom lip, as she taps 'Send'.

Yes, she's feeling a tad anxious; she'd made a grievous mistake last night, and hasn't any idea how to make up for it. It isn't often that she regrets her actions - far more rare, is for her to bother addressing it at all.

This is William, however. More specifically, this concerns how she'd just thrown away the opportunity to taste success after a century-long pursuit of his affections. At the time, it made perfect sense to her, but now...

Now, she stands outside the entrance to his temple, waiting. Intruding would not do her any favors, at the moment, and she wouldn't care to bother with his shinki, either. Not while she has so much on her mind, and must command herself to focus. ]

Comments

[untodeath]

I always found it a bit cute, to be honest.

[ That has something of a smile settling into her features. ]

And that's just it. Even if I should have hated it, I never actually did, because it was you! Likewise, you seem to hate having these emotions roused out of you, but you rather need it, too...

[ Inhaling, Grell carelessly shrugs her shoulders. ]

You were there since the beginning, besides. Makes it feel as though it wasn't an accident, you know?

[death_glare]

Soulmates, I believed you called it last time.

[ He still doesn't really believe in such a thing. But perhaps they did meet for a reason. Perhaps the gods of the afterlife actually wanted them to learn something. ]

And yes, it is rather irritating to have you see all of this. It is certainly not something I ever intended to share with anyone.

[ Speaking of which, that's a lot of emotion for the short time they've been out together. Better reel himself in with a huff. ]

[untodeath]

[ Too late, William! She extends a hand to rest over his, thumb brushing along the back of his palm, and there's nothing but fondness in her eyes. ]

I'm glad that you did.

[death_glare]

Yes, well. I suppose you are correct. It needed to be done. I just never realized...or wanted to admit it.

[ There's a slight shift to his hand. It's not as forward as Grell's was last night, where she fully took his hand within her's. But he does manage to interlace a few of their fingers in a loose grip. ]

[untodeath]

[ Somehow, that sways her even more. A touch so light, subdued - and entirely of William's own accord, most importantly - just feels more honest, pure. Now, she never would have expected to desire such a thing, but experiencing it is entirely a different matter.

With a healthy flush to her cheeks, Grell finds herself beaming.

Unfortunately, this is precisely when the waiter returns with their drinks, and while the redhead has no intention of breaking contact, she feels almost certain that William shall. Shoulders falling with a faint sigh, she merely acknowledges the server with a nod. ]

[death_glare]

[ See, that's the issue when you place your hand on his dominant one. So he does let go, despite the contact being so brief. And, with he largest question now off his chest and answered, he busies his hands with stirring some sugar into the black coffee. ]

I will admit, though, it is nice to see you genuinely happy. At least, it seems you are.

[untodeath]

[ Grell, too, finds herself stirring her drink. It's some sort of iced passion fruit tea. Tea over ice seems like some sort of abomination, but the server recommended it, and she's heard it's actually quite good. ]

Oh-- I don't know. I think I might just be, actually. [ Peering up at him, she has an amused little quirk to her smile. ] You could tell when I wasn't before, hn?

[death_glare]

[ She'll get a glare in return. He doesn't like it when you tease him, Grell. ]

It isn't as though you ever attempted to hide anything with that exaggerated personality of yours.

Which is precisely my point. You're not squealing and throwing yourself at me, as you always have.

[untodeath]

Well, now, I'm confused. Wouldn't such expressions of endearment suggest happiness?

[ Oh, now she's just propping her chin upon a hand, admiring his handsomely grumpy face! She'll multitask, too, raising the straw to her lips so that she may test a sip of her tea. ]

--Oh, this is tasty. You should try it!

[death_glare]

When you act that way, it comes across as overcompensating. Acting absurdly happy over a shred of attention, when it's fairly obvious you would have wanted more.

At least now you are calm with your reactions. It feels more as if you are truly content in this moment, as opposed to grasping desperately at my attention, as if that's all there will ever be of it. I couldn't imagine you were honestly happy with how our interactions were before, but I think that must be changing. If anything, the calmer smile you have on seems to say so, and--

[ He's cut off by a sudden drink shoved in his direction. Pulling back, he frowns down at the straw dancing in front of his lips. ]

Were you even paying attention to anything I was saying?

[untodeath]

[ Grell drops the straw back into her drink, head lulling to the side as she breathes an amused sigh. ]

I wasn't ignoring you. I mean, it was all well and fun to get those reactions out of you, too, but. [ Lips quirking, her brows press whilst her gaze wonders. It's time for her to seriously consider it, it seems. ] I suppose that would explain quite a bit of what I do, wouldn't it? Relations can be a terribly confusing thing...

[ With something of a wry smile, the redhead's lids fall as she shrugs her shoulders. ]

What I do know, is you have me questioning everything I had thought I enjoyed, and what it is that I actually want. Getting closer like this, I really do find myself-- happy, yes! I also want more! It's intimidating.

[death_glare]

Yes. It is.

[ He'll turn down that offer to taste Grell's drink by lifting his own cup of coffee to his lips. Because really, cold tea is not acceptable. ]

Perhaps you understand my own hesitation at opening up more, now.

[untodeath]

[ Giving William a look, it's with a huff that she pulls her drink back. More for her! ]

It isn't that I don't understand it; I just see it differently. As something worth having, exploring, fighting for.

[death_glare]

Of which I am slowly beginning to agree with you.

[ He returns his cup to the table, cradling it in both hands. ]

Something I never thought would be the case, in regards to any topic, ever.

[untodeath]

[ Those words will earn a raise of her brows, lashes batting once or twice with some wonder. Inevitably, though, she finds herself smiling once more. ]

You're making it difficult not to lean across this table and kiss you, you know.

[death_glare]

[ That gets him to straighten up in his chair, conveniently placing a decent amount more distance between them. ]

It is not my fault your self control is severely lacking.

[untodeath]

Oh, but I think it is!

[ Sure, she may want that kiss pretty damn bad, but Grell still enjoys making him clam up like that. Immensely, if her grin has anything to say about it. ]

It certainly isn't my fault that everything about you is just so--

[ This is where she'd typically insert some profane innuendo, but you know what? Why not surprise him more. ]

Wonderfully enchanting. [ Except, now she's chuckling at herself. ]

[death_glare]

[ Really, he should be glad she kept her word choices PG.

He's about to open his mouth to protest her claims, and probably earn back those innuendos in return, when their food is placed before them. Really, this waiter likes to interrupt at very inopportune moments. ]

[untodeath]

[ Hopefully, the waiter doesn't catch how Grell's eyes quite nearly roll to the back of her skull. At least she waits until he's excused himself to shake her head with a snerk, resigning to pick up her fork and dig into the pile of greens on her plate. ]

Well, anyway, now that I've answered your questions, I think it fair to ask one of my own-- hm?

[death_glare]

[ He may not see Grell's reaction, but he certainly gets an iconic glare from William. One that stops him before he's even able to ask if they need anything else right now. Once gone, William gives a short huff, tucking his napkin into his lap before his attention turns towards his sandwich.

Though before he takes a bite, he looks up to Grell quizzically. ]

And what would that be?

[untodeath]

What was it that prompted you to change your mind?

[ Tolling her wrist to vaguely gesture between herself and William, Grell leans in to take a bite of her salad - but not without attentively returning her gaze to man before her. ]

[death_glare]

[ He probably could have guessed this was the question she'd ask, if given a moment to ponder it. ]

All of our interactions here have lead up to it. Ones I don't think we ever would have had the opportunity to experience, back in London.

[ He pauses, as if to sample his sandwich, but instead returns it to the plate and brushes the crumbs from his hands with his napkin. Serious topics need his full attention. ]

Do not make the mistake of thinking you've suddenly won my heart. You should be well aware, by this point, that it is not a simple thing to do. Even Christine had a hard time of it.

[ He pauses again, wondering if it was bad to have even said her name in this moment. ]

Though, I do think the persistence you both share in that regard may be part of it. Humorously enough, it's the only trait you share with her. But apparently, it's a significant one to me.

Until now, I merely regretted every choice I'd made that led me to this afterlife, putting no effort into changing any of it. Mainly because I didn't feel I deserved to be happy again. Your persistence in gaining my affections, despite my mistreatment of you only fed that thought process more.

Until I realized that it was because you had that faith in me that I couldn't see in myself, and that Christine had given up hope on. I do not want to be miserable or lonely anymore. And for once, I feel that it's okay for me to want happiness for myself.

[untodeath]

[ Well. Grell had thought that things had been going amazingly well, so it's with some surprise that William should feel the need to knock her down a peg or two. Only some, mind.

What truly sours the mood is mentioning Christine, indeed. It has the redhead setting her fork aside with a tick of her brow, having lost her appetite. ]

You shan't ever lose that from me, because I'm not her.

[ Settling her hands in her lap, she pauses to take a deep breath through her nostrils, quite clearly annoyed, but attempting to pull it together. ]

I understand, that is a part of your life that will always be with you, but perhaps you should reconsider comparing your life now, to what it was then, in order to begin grasping at happiness.

[ Easing the tension in her jaw, she finds his gaze - turning her annoyance to determination. ]

I'll always fight for you, William. You needn't worry about that.

[death_glare]

[ He'd known the moment he mentioned her that Grell's interpretation of his words was destined to sour. With a sigh and a brief closing of his eyes, he replies. ]

You asked me what changed my mind and I answered you as honestly as I could have. How am I to learn anything and move on if I don't consider what it was in my past that was holding me back?

I am well aware that the two of you are entirely different people. And I believe that's necessary for me to move on. I am not looking for you to be a stand in and mimic everything that I adored about her. That wouldn't help either of us.

I want you to be yourself, Grell. [ The usage of her first name, for the first time, should only add to the seriousness of his words. ] Even all the things about you that irritate me. And I want to accept you for that, just as you've done for me. If that leads to something intimate between us, I am fine with that. But, I do not want to push something so significant into being simply to quell some thirst either of us may have.

What has happened between us thus far has begun to bring that happiness to me. Yes, it is slow going, but I am not looking to back away.

[untodeath]

[ Why does he have to do that? Annoy her, fuel her, and then assuage any doubts she had so meaningfully? It all just makes her want to climb over that table and into his lap, may his reservations be damned!

Again, she can feel a bit of colour rising to her cheeks. ]

That a promise, Will? All of it.

[ God, he's handsome. Would he hate her if she just stole a little kiss? Probably, so she really shouldn't. It just makes her want to more, though - and she's most definitely pining at him across the table, now. ]